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Feeling fat & ugly how do I get my confidence back

(31 Posts)
chubbytoes Tue 22-Sep-09 20:28:19

How do I get it back I am feeling really down about myself.

Will post a photo please be honest.

josette Tue 22-Sep-09 20:51:23

Sorry you feel like that. Is it just a today feeling, or do you feel like that most days?
Clothes shopping depresses me as I am overweight... but
new hair cut/ hi-lites, be bothered to put make up on everyday, nice pair of shoes, and then if I squint and have a couple of drinks I think i verge towards a blonde Nigella.
I seem to feel better about myself if i put more effort in...
Hope your feeling down is just down to a bad day and not long term.

DogAgain Tue 22-Sep-09 20:53:52

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ZZMum Tue 22-Sep-09 20:58:45

take small steps so you can keep them going and I find that making a small amount of effort makes me feel better.. for example this week am just working on my hair and doing the no-poo thing - hair improving, some one commented - world seems great!

quick fixes for me - a good shave and exfoliate and body lotion so skin feels soft

or get eyes brows waxed..

chuck out frumpy clothes and even if you only have a couple of good outfits, wear them all the time!

everyone has a good bit to them so find yours - eyes? nice nails? focus on them and pay attention to them..

AitchTwoToTangOh Tue 22-Sep-09 21:01:43

i think we all have days like this, don't we? what would you like to do about it, do you think? i do find a hair cut makes a big difference.
my friend has a good line on this, she says that when you're not taking care of yourself it's very easy to slide into the habit of wearing 'i hate myself' clothes. so she has a big old clear-out when she spots this.

cleaningsucks Tue 22-Sep-09 21:02:21

i bet you are lovely.

agree a bit of polish and care really helps. I think really taking the time to moisturise after every shower is helpful - good long strategy, plus you have to 'embrace' your body (sorry for the sappy stuff) iyswim - helps to feel more comfortable.

oh - and only wearing clothes you feel good in.

everlong Tue 22-Sep-09 21:38:50

Can you get a good hair cut and some new lippy?

We ALL have many days like this.

Jewelsandgems Tue 22-Sep-09 22:01:08

A friend of mine went through a really low period, and she found the only thing that helped was excersise. Not pumpung iron in the gym or anything, or mad running around type stuff. She started with a pilates class and then went on to do yoga. The feel good endorphins after an excereise class are really hard to beat - and you get to meet people too. She got me into it too, and I really look forward to it now.

There are other excercise things other than classes though - like hill walking that can be a day out and can product that feel good feeling

I am not saying hair and clothes etc won't make a difference too - but maybe start wit the inside first.

geordieminx Tue 22-Sep-09 22:18:39

Was going to suggest an exercise class, it will take a few weeks, but if you stick at it then you will see that you are starting to tone up - I've just started body combat which is great - lots of punching and kicking for toning up and getting rid of aggression.

DIY manicure, nice bubble bath and some cheap accessories will also make you feel more "groomed" - you can get some lovely necklaces and bangles from Primark - they dont last long, especially when my 2 year old is on the rampage, but a nice necklace added to a pair of jeans and t-shirt can make all the difference.

missworried Tue 22-Sep-09 22:21:17

Miss Toes! smile

I bet you are really pretty. Something has knocked your confidence. You're doing the right by posting and trying to tackle it head on. Go for it! You'll get great tips here.

Try making 2 lists. One saying what evidence you have to support the idea that you are truely fat and ugly. Then think very clearly and list all the evidence that goes against that thought. E.g, you have a friendly smile, you wear trendy clothes, funky shoes, you have amazing eyes... you have to think hard about this. It's important. Ask a trusted friend if poss. Look in the mirror properly.

chubby toes are nicer than skinny toes any day!

chubbytoes Tue 22-Sep-09 22:50:28

Hi have posted a photo, has felt like this for a couple of months now sad
Just picking up on every fault with myself.

AitchTwoToTangOh Tue 22-Sep-09 22:53:11

but WHAT are you going to DO about it? grin i don't think you have a profile, do you? where is the photo posted?

geordieminx Tue 22-Sep-09 22:54:30

You need to make your profile public.

Can you dedicate a day to pampering yourself? Haircut, shopping, etc?

chubbytoes Tue 22-Sep-09 23:13:08

Here I have made it public.grin

I want to do something but dont know where to start

DogAgain Tue 22-Sep-09 23:16:53

Message withdrawn

AitchTwoToTangOh Tue 22-Sep-09 23:19:53

okay. i think it's safe to say that you're depressed. cos you're just wrong about your looks.

chubbytoes Tue 22-Sep-09 23:20:55

No not taking the mick DogAgain just really am down and feeling low about myself sad

DogAgain Tue 22-Sep-09 23:22:20

Message withdrawn

DogAgain Tue 22-Sep-09 23:24:03

Message withdrawn

Morosky Tue 22-Sep-09 23:26:09

I don't know what to suggest as you look lovely in your photo. Is it a recent photo, do you still look like that?

chubbytoes Wed 23-Sep-09 07:26:42

The photo was taken last month.

Yes I go out but I don't know whether I feel like this because I have let everything get on top of me as have been through an awful divorce then have had a rough ride at work with my boss, but I have now started a new job. So I am hoping my confidence will slowly start coming back, but I am just seem to be picking every single little fault with myself from having stretch marks to fat feet and I know going down that road is a bad sign.

I just need a major kick up the bum

BonsoirAnna Wed 23-Sep-09 07:31:30

You need to identify precisely what is bothering you and to make improvements! I know that sounds glib, but it really is the only solution.

I know that there are some things that might sound trivial to others but that really make a massive difference to how I feel. An extra two kilos and I feel like an elephant and absolutely miserable! Bad hair ditto.

Sometimes you can resolve the way you feel about yourself by getting an extra hour's sleep every night and spending a bit more time looking after yourself.

BalloonSlayer Wed 23-Sep-09 07:42:55

You are beautiful.

I am a tenth as attractive as you but feel quite happy about myself so I have no real advice, except: Change your nickname.

If you worry you have fat feet, having a nickname like that means you are seeing negativity wherever you go.

What about BlondeEagle (as you are soaring off into your new career.)

chubbytoes Wed 23-Sep-09 07:43:04

I think maybe lack of sleep hasnt been helping with worrying about work and money and feeling lonely and when I go shopping nothing ever seems to fit.

Thats how I feel an elephant I feel that everyone is looking at me & thinking how big ( i know that sounds shallow)

I have never felt like this have always been confident.

mrswill Wed 23-Sep-09 21:32:00

You are gorgeous, honestly. I cant see anything bad in that picture, that you would even need to improve on.
If i find im feeling like this, i start eating more healthily, and doing a bit of exercise. But it does sound whats going on in your life is affecting how you feel about yourself. Negativity begats more negativity, and your probably stuck in a cycle of this because of whats happened to you recently. So try and make a few positive things happen for yourself to break free of this, and your perception may change.
You dont look big in your pic at all, and dont resemble an elephant! grin

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