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How wrong would it be to wear a bridesmaids dress before the wedding?

(30 Posts)
SkaterGrrrrl Wed 16-Sep-09 15:10:10

My friend is getting married in 3 months and she just bought me a gorgeous bridesmaid's dress. (not peach tafatta I haten to add, but a lovely silky sheath from Monsoon)

It's my birthday soon and DH is taking me out to a nice restaurant...I am really tempted to wear the new dress. I KNOW etiquette says I shouldnt wear the dress before her wedding, but is there any real harm?

The bride will never know and I am prepared to replace the dress if I spell red wine on it.

All opinions welcomed

EyeballsintheSky Wed 16-Sep-09 15:15:33

Supposing you can't replace it, none in your size, wrong colour etc? I think you shouldn't. Anyway, it's meant to be a bit special and it won't be if you've worn it to the local Bernie Inn

potplant Wed 16-Sep-09 15:15:37

If you 100% certain that there is absolutely no chance on earth that your friend or anyone else she may know will see you wearing it? If so, go for it.

(If I was the bride I would be livid though, especially if I'd paid for it)

differentID Wed 16-Sep-09 15:16:25

Sorry i wouldn't.

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 16-Sep-09 15:25:32

The dress has only just come into Monsoon so should be able to track down a replacement but I appreciate it's a a risky little game...

The bride is incredibly laid back about all things weddingy (for example she doesnt care about co-ordinating bridesmaids outfits, has just given us a colour and told us to pick a dress). However I would hate to upset her.

If the consensus on here is don't do it, I wont do it!

VanillaIce Wed 16-Sep-09 15:28:26

Awful idea. You just can't. You sound like a terrible bridesmaid by the way with this "the bride will never know" attitude. Hope you're not planning to sleep with the groom before the big day too on the same grounds! shock

SausageRocket Wed 16-Sep-09 15:29:54

not if bride has paid for it, no.

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 16-Sep-09 15:29:56

Chill out vanilla, it's a light hearted thread!

LIZS Wed 16-Sep-09 15:30:11

Nope , afetrwards is different but it should be "fresh" for the wedding

LIZS Wed 16-Sep-09 15:30:11

Nope , afetrwards is different but it should be "fresh" for the wedding

EyeballsintheSky Wed 16-Sep-09 15:33:04

Is she laid back enough to ask or is that pushing the laid-backness?

BitOfFun Wed 16-Sep-09 15:35:17

You'd be best to avoid slim sheaths anyway if you're going out for a nosh, ime. wink

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 16-Sep-09 15:38:37

I take the point that the dress should 'feel' all shiny & new on her wedding day.

Guess I should be happy she has bought me a dress I want to wear so badly. Certainly wasnt the case the last 2 times I was a bridesmaid!

dexter73 Wed 16-Sep-09 15:41:01

If I was the bride I would have no objection at all to you wearing it. I cannot see the problem (except the dress being ruined but that is unlikely). I am very relaxed too!

nickelbabe Wed 16-Sep-09 15:50:38

it's fine wearing it afterwards, but not before: it's supposed to be special to the bride and to her wedding.
it's not nice.

MrsBadger Wed 16-Sep-09 15:56:36

if you paid for it fair enough

if she paid then I wouldn't

SkaterGrrrrl Wed 16-Sep-09 17:13:17

The bride paid for it.

So that's one yay and lots of nays...

SqueezyCheese Wed 16-Sep-09 17:16:40

Here's another nay. Without being offensive, I think it is rude. Wearing it afterwards would be fine but not before.

ThePhantomPlopper Wed 16-Sep-09 17:31:56

I wouldn't do it. Afterwards yes, before no.

MmeLindt Wed 16-Sep-09 17:35:03

I would not do it either, it might get damaged.

And it is plain rude.

themoon66 Wed 16-Sep-09 17:35:06

Post link to dress so I can decide <<just being bloody nosy emoticon>>

wilkos Wed 16-Sep-09 17:37:15

yes, very rude. don't do it

LuluMaman Wed 16-Sep-09 17:39:18

yes it is rude. and it won't feel as special to you when you wear it

and it will be sods law you =ruin it and cannot replace it and then you are stuffed!

shonaspurtle Wed 16-Sep-09 17:40:49

If my bridesmaid had asked me if she could wear the dress before the wedding I would have said yes.

I'd want to be asked though I think.

So, maybe you should say something like: "If you don't want me to then I absolutely won't, but I love my dress so much that I'd really like to wear it out for my birthday meal. What do you think?"

If you don't feel you can ask her then I think that gives you your answer.

Rindercella Wed 16-Sep-09 17:43:05

I wouldn't do it personally. How fab though to have a bridesmaid dress that you are actually desperate to wear! That has got to be some sort of record surely?!

Ooh yes, post link please smile

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