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The opposite of dreading the school fashion parade: dreading the school fleece brigade!

(198 Posts)
Jewelsandgems Thu 03-Sep-09 21:08:33

My little girl has just started nursery and I thought it would be nice to get to know some other mums.

I wear fashionable clothes! And because of this, the only mums who talk to me are those very few others who also wear the same kind of clothes. The majority wear bootcut jeans and fleeces. Now I have nothing against fleeces and jeans, and when the weather is rubbish you will find me in the same things!

Does anyone else have this? Honastly, I wore my rain hat the other day and I swear a few of the mums sneered at me. Should I just have turned up with sopping wet hair?!!

I am totally considereding addapting a fleecy look just to get to know some other mums I have tried smiling and saying hello, but no response.

tulpe Thu 03-Sep-09 21:14:16


Seriously. Pretty much as was said on the other thread, if they judge you on what you wear then you really do not want to be friends with them.

A secure, confident woman will not be judgey and sneery of others; they would be open to chatting with anyone. It is their problem not yours.

BTW, I have been on the receiving end of this for the last year at school. It isn't nice. But think of it this way - it is just 15 minutes or so out of your entire day.

LetThemEatCake Thu 03-Sep-09 21:25:27

I can't wait until my dcs start school for this very reason. Inspiring envy - and therefore dislike - in other women is something that every HMM (High Maintenance Mummy) should aspire to.

my alter ego will tell you ALL about it

Hulababy Thu 03-Sep-09 21:29:53

What kind of schools do all you lots send your children too (ditto for the other thread)?

Seriously none of this at DD's school from what I can gather.

Jewelsandgems Thu 03-Sep-09 21:36:40

Love that LTEC grin

Well it definatley happens at my DDs school. And if the other mothers took the opportunity to smile back at me, or to say hi, they would realise I am really normal and layed back. I just love fashion and clothes - that's just me. Mine aren't always expensive clothes (infact more often than not I throw on my vintage tux jacket, which does not look new or "smart" but it's something I love)

ADriedFrogForTheBursar Thu 03-Sep-09 21:38:09

I think these threads are just trying (for no reason I can fathom) to freak out new mums at the school gates. We have a school gossip (but you soon get to realise who that is) and apart from that all the other mums are just regular women in all shapes and sizes in all sorts of clothes and we talk to the ones we get on with, it's not rocket science hmm

Jewelsandgems Thu 03-Sep-09 21:41:57

burser I didn't even think of starting this thread to freak out the new mums at the school gate - I am a new mum at the school gate!

Lizzylou Thu 03-Sep-09 21:44:21

Goodness, I really cannot understand this!

We have a mixture of all sorts of Mom at DS1's school and there just isn't such a big deal over whether you're wearing a fleece/leggings/jodphurs/YSL ballgown or whatever.
I regularly tell people that they look nice, would talk to anyone who would talk to me and I don't care what clothes people are wearing.
BTW your rainhat sounds great for Lancashire and would be a very sensible purchase round these parts, link pls!

OrmIrian Thu 03-Sep-09 21:45:49

They are not standoffish because of your clothes, they are standoffish because most mums are like that when they start out at school. Most people are finding their feet. Some of them might know each other from elsewhere so chat to each other. You will get to know people regardless of what you wear. As long as you stop feeling put-upon for no reason at all.

Jewelsandgems Thu 03-Sep-09 21:54:32

lizzylou I know it is so mad!

On the terribly rainy days I am there in my berghaus jacket and wet buggy and all, and find that the other mums are alot friendlier.

I agree theya re all finding their feet. I guess that must be it. But the sneering is unnessecary (it is yard!) grin

Lizzylou Thu 03-Sep-09 22:00:51

I honestly doubt that they are sneering, I was "new in town" when DS1 started preschool a few years back and honestly I just talked to anyone.
When I lost weight loads of people commented and complimented me and some of my good friends now are from those days. 1 is 10 yrs younger than me, very slim, trendy and gorgeous, 2 others are far more trendier than me but really down to earth and lovely, another is a bit more hit and miss like me.
Really, don't think it is because you are impossibly gorgeous and trendy that people aren't talking to you, it may just be because they are busy/shy whatever.
We are all Mothers.
Bet they are all dying to ask where your hat is from!

Lizzylou Thu 03-Sep-09 22:02:08

BTW I don't own a fleece.

Just thought I should clear that up grin

NoahFence Thu 03-Sep-09 22:03:52

God although i realise htis is tongue in cheek it sounds really unkind

Lizzylou Thu 03-Sep-09 22:08:42

It does sound a tad arrogant, I grant you, Noah.
But I can see why anyone who feels different to other people could feel alienated.

LetThemEatCake Thu 03-Sep-09 22:10:04

but everyone knows it's a joke, right?

NoahFence Thu 03-Sep-09 22:10:40

the Op still has a well dodgy sofa though# maybe they shoudl judge on that?

Lizzylou Thu 03-Sep-09 22:13:58

grin at sofa

LTEC, yep.

But all this school run biz, it is pretty bonkers, isn't it?

Betcha this is in the DM now grin

auntilin Thu 03-Sep-09 22:14:44

Is this for real!!!!
I pick up in my uniform, i don't notice what the other mums wear

LetThemEatCake Thu 03-Sep-09 22:18:14

I have to say, although my dcs are too young for school, and don't go to nursery, we still go to lots of toddler groups etc and I'm generally fairly well dressed .. have never had anything but people saying nice things about that fact. That HMM thing that I write is based far more on the rivalry that I experienced btwn women in my 20s than now, in middle-aged motherhood

cherryblossoms Thu 03-Sep-09 22:18:49

No to fleece.

I've said it before, I'll say it again, it's great to see people who venture out of the box a little with clothing. It's a real lift - even for those of us who don't manage it ourselves.

Jewelsandgems - I'd be looking on in wonderment but quite sure that you had hordes of admiring mummies clustering about you, eager to be your friend, so would just loiter around in an inarticulate manner.

Starbear Thu 03-Sep-09 22:33:39

Oh, I have a fleece problem. Please, Please, help me. Last year I told all my work friends, who are ladies of a certain age that we must, must stop wearing fleece. & we didn't for a year. TG that the green one that my friend wore for the past 6 years has not returned. For the past year we have been wearing cardigans pulled out from the bottom of our bags and looking un-ironed. We have freezes while walking, too hot while on special assignment, found that cardigans don't dry quickly enough for us to get them on again for work. & they bobble!
The fleece is a wonderful thing for us to wear for work. Maybe we fleece wearing MI5 types just don't need to get to know you. We are looking out for the over dressed, more bling than the queen, more plaster than the make-up counter at Selfridges. You also don't speak english with a non-descript, (I suspect) some where in the world accent. We are trained to sneering at everyone! Anyway the upshot of all that is we are back in fleece! grin

OrmIrian Fri 04-Sep-09 09:51:09

I had a fleece - as Tog24 one that I bought years ago. It was lovely. I was very fond of it. I wore it for running in the winter and sometimes I would sneak it on for the school run. DH didn't like it. It has mysteriously disappeared <narrows eyes> I suspect foul play.

Jewelsandgems Fri 04-Sep-09 10:13:47

I have fleeces too! And love to be in them when crappy weather or having a pmt day.

I just couldn't stand to wear the same stuff every day. Basically I wear whatever appropriate that day, I definately would not turn up in anything pvc/sequinned/embellished/fake fur etc. My stuff is normal stuff! It is just not always fleeces.

And thankyou for the dodgy sofa comments - I love my big squishy sofa! Ir's one of those massive ones with loads of cushions. And we are in the middle of starting our own business so a new one is out of the question [hopes Laura Ashley ancient one lasts a bit longer]

missmelly Fri 04-Sep-09 10:31:33

I remember starting a college course when I was in my early 20's. There was a girl there, who was dressed head to toe in fashionable clothes, she looked great. I automatically thought to myself, oh I bet she wouldnt be friends with me, she's probably up herself etc etc.
We ended up in the same class and we became friends. It turned out she had insecurities about herself because of being judged because she had an interest in fashion.

TheDMshouldbeRivened Fri 04-Sep-09 10:39:06

but fleeces are warm and cheap. Coats costa fortune.

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