What you need to do (tomorrow) is take a plane out to Portugal to a beach at Viana do Castelo and you will see a woman sitting on the beach.
She looks like this:
A bit overweight (didn't stick to the pre-holiday diet) Blobby tummy (forgot to do the sit-ups) Blobby thighs (didn't even think about the anti-cellulite cream which hasn't worked previous years) Strange orange stripy colour (DIY self tan - and I did exfoliate, don't know what went wrong) Razor burn on bikini line (ouch, but waxing is even more ouch) Uneven eyebrows (DIY plucking, the beautician is on holiday) lopsided fringe (cut this morning with kitchen scissors as has grown since hair appointment two weeks ago!) Nail varnish on toes (DIY manicure)
Sit next to this woman and you will instantly feel gorgeous and glamorous in comparison!!
Woman pulls on linen trousers, kaftan, floppy sunhat,large dark glasses and goes to the bar - please tell me I won't look too bad from a distance!!