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I bought a dress on the recommendation of the Debenhams personal shopper and....

(23 Posts)
lovecat Sun 12-Oct-08 11:23:21

I felt distinctly muttonish in it when I wore it to my SIL's 40th. Got several comments along the lines of 'ooh, it's a bit short, isn't it?' and when I asked DH what he thought (as I was by then feeling somewhat insecure) and he gave this sort of nervous laugh - which of course did wonders for my confidence!

This is the dress. I was wearing it with platform 5" strappy sandals and bare legs (it was a warm night) which still have a tan on them from holiday. I have good legs, I can carry off a short skirt, but am now feeling crap about expensive purchase and waste of birthday money

I'd lost 3.5 stone and found my body shape had changed dramatically (have no boobage these days and a waist, whereas before I was all about the cleavage but otherwise up n' down) so booked the appt with the personal shopper as I truly had no idea what to wear for going out stuff. I was assured that I looked great by the PS, but now am wondering if they just wanted to make a sale...

So - votes please, MN jury - do I cut my losses and stick it on Ebay once I've dry cleaned it, or do you think I should try it with leggings/thick tights/flatter shoes instead to feel a bit less exposed? (I'm a Northern bird, my default posish is bare legs no coat, but at 42 do I now have to rethink?).

I don't think it helped matters that my gorgeous, 15yr old 5'11 niece was wearing a dress of similar shortness and killer heels - felt very muttony next to her (although she alone of the women there said she loved my dress, but that didn't really help - I would give it to her (we're the same size) but I can't afford to lose that amount of money!)

SquiffyHock Sun 12-Oct-08 11:27:33

Is it at all possible that you actually looked fantastic and the other women were a bit envy??

I lost nearly 3 stone last year and was amazed by how put out some of my 'friends' seemed to be. I know that might sound paranoid but I swear that not everyone is happy for you.

Try it with opaque tights and some very honest friends.

Well done on the weightloss smile

Lauriefairycake Sun 12-Oct-08 11:32:36

Well done on the weightloss

the dress is lovely and I'm sure you looked fantastic and they were all a bit envious and unsure because I guess you haven't looked like that for a while

Now you just need to build your self-confidence to match your fab new figure smile

Cappuccino Sun 12-Oct-08 11:33:27

I think sheer tights, not thick ones. Not leggings

I think if you have good legs it will be fine

angry at your dh for suggesting it wasn't okay. My dh would let me go out in some frighteningly revealing outfits just so's he got an eyeful, let alone be nervous about a perfectly decent dress.

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump Sun 12-Oct-08 11:33:35

It's a difficult one. It could well be, as lovecat says, that the others are jealous, and not used to seeing your new shape yet. But if you're not going to feel comfortable wearing it, you're going to have a less fun time. I'd try it with opaque tights and see how you feel. Gorgeous dress - fwiw, I suspect the issue isn't the dress, or your body, more your mindset (and whether you can mentally say 'sod you, I look fab, deal with it'grin).

Cappuccino Sun 12-Oct-08 11:34:10

I think I might get a shrug or a scarf for the evenings though

it's normally the upper arms that are a giveaway now we are old grin

JackieNoHeadJustABloodyStump Sun 12-Oct-08 11:34:14

(sorry - you're lovecat - I meant 'as SquiffyHock says'blush)

paddingtonbear1 Sun 12-Oct-08 11:34:21

I think the dress is fab, actually - I bet you looked great and the others were jealous!

I am envy that you could walk in sandals that high, I would have broken my neck

I am 40 and if I had great legs I would wear that.

littlelapin Sun 12-Oct-08 11:36:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LisaLessLumpy Sun 12-Oct-08 11:52:48

Fab dress and if you have the legs for it then why the hell not, if I had half decent legs I would wear it like a shot. Sod them I say, if you feel good in it then that is all that matters

lovecat Sun 12-Oct-08 11:56:35

Thank you everyone I shall give it another go.

Capp - tbh, I think DH is so scared of saying the wrong thing (he knows I'm paranoid about my appearance/weight) that a nervous laugh was probably him thinking 'oh Christ, I'm going to be in trouble whatever I say'...

pmsl re lapdance shoes, they are a bit (I actually bought them many years ago when I was playing a prostitute in a musical shock - so it's entirely likely that they were a bit much!) but they were the only black heels I possessed that weren't bought for work - all my going out shoes are well high, now I come to think of it...blush

YeahBut Sun 12-Oct-08 11:59:22

Well done on losing all that weight! It's a lovely dress and I'm sure you looked fab.
TBH, I think people get stuck on how they think you "ought" to look and if this is the first time they've seen you glammed up since the weight loss, it probably upsets the way they see you. In other words, their problem, not yours.

BecauseImAWitch Sun 12-Oct-08 12:01:53

Without seeing you in it it's hard to judge IYKWIM - but it's a beautiful dress.

Suspect they are all a bit surprised at your weight loss and that you're dressing like a thin woman, instead of hiding it all away like a fat woman!

Brilliant weight loss, btw.

TskullsScreaming Sun 12-Oct-08 12:05:27

Hang on, you have good tanned legs, you have lots loads of weight, the dress is lovely and there's a problem?! I bet you looked bloody fabgrin.

Maybe the shoes were a bit high? Although 10/10 for managing 5" heels! It's a lovely dress though. A good one for Christmas parties too.

Sounds like you shocked a few people with your new look. Enjoy it. We're only here the once after all. I am 43 btw and I think it's lovely.

yama Sun 12-Oct-08 12:12:21

Glad I clicked on this thread. That is exactly the kind of dress I'd like for the Christmas do. Thanks. smile

Gettingbiggernow Sun 12-Oct-08 12:18:46

I think the dress is lovely but needs some balance. Personally (am in early 30's) would style it with:

- A chunky necklace - echo the chunky gems and gives the impression of some coverage
- Lower heels (3.5in max), stiletto's, no platforms, with full heel and toe (ie not strappy or slingbacks). For example www.coast-stores.com/fcp/product/-/Shoes/Annabelle-Shoe/6110002880
- Definately not sheer tights as nothing is more ageing. Try opaque tights with caution as the dense coverage combined with the exposed arms/neck can look unbalanced. If you do go for opaques, try teaming with a skinny black scarf (worn in place of a necklace) which balances the look.
- A black shrug possibly, but a nice one ie not wool/acrylic/knitted/collared/heavy - you would need to reflect the daintiness of the dress, so something thin like a very thin black knit.

If I was early 20's I would probably wear with scrap of sparkly high sandals, smoky eyes and loadsa bracelets but have to cover up a bit more these days...

DrNortherner Sun 12-Oct-08 12:22:49

Good advice from gettingbiggernow

solo Sun 12-Oct-08 12:26:37

Lovely dress and if you have good legs etc then I bet you looked fab! Stop talking yourself out of feeling great. Hubby possibly isn't used to you looking quite as gorgeous as you obviously did post baby. Give him time, he'll get used to the new you grin

S1ur Sun 12-Oct-08 12:31:54

Fab dress, agree with Capp and Gettingbiggernow.

I think something over your shoulders might be a good thing, but light like GBN says.

Oh and yes, lower heels like Lapin says.

In fact I am just agreeing with everyone, so not much help grin

Still I like the dress fwiw.

lovecat Sun 12-Oct-08 12:48:56

Well, at least if I decide to sell the dress I know I'll get some interest...

Thanks all - Gettingbiggernow those shoes are <drool> wonderful, but am not sure I can justify the cost... perhaps if I sell DH instead?

Gettingbiggernow Sun 12-Oct-08 12:50:06

If I was your personal shopper I would have probably picked you out something more like this www.oasis-stores.com/fcp/product/Oasis/Dresses/Scoop-neck-dress/4470043001

If you have fab legs and like me are over 28 and were after a LBD, this one has coverage whilst still showing enough skin to be sexy, plus it can be dressed up for night or down for day. You could probably even put a bright polo neck underneath and wear with opaques and boots in the day and it would still look great.

For night, there again a chunky necklace, killer heels like before and a clutch.

Gettingbiggernow Sun 12-Oct-08 12:51:54

<Gettingbiggernow is GettingCarriedAwayNow.. > I am pg and can't wear ANYTHING like this at the moment so like to dream/obsess/dress other people!!!!

Those shoes are yummy, sack the cost smile

Pannacotta Sun 12-Oct-08 14:20:24

I like it but agree that I'd wear it with shorter heels and would also add a shrug to make it a bit less flesh revealing.
Try with different tights/heels before you decide - you could always post a pic of you wearing it (minus your face showing) on here if you wanted honest opinions?

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