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Hair has been butchered - confidence at all time low.

(25 Posts)
AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 12:49:51

Not sure if this is the right place for this.

At the weekend I had the worst hair cut of my life. I went in for a trim, asking her to take 2 cm off all over and came out with butchered locks. Previously I had thick, long, glossy hair that I was very proud of - now I have a thin, helmet-style monstrosity that makes me look like Velma from Scooby Doo. She did the back before hacking away at the rest of it - I asked her to stop as soon as I saw how much she was taking off the top and she started shouting at me that this was what I asked for.

I'm in Brussels where apparently they only know 4 different styles of haircuts and I ended up with

I had DS 7 months ago and was feeling the need to have somebody take care and fuss over me for just an hour - my appearance has taken a hammering what with pregnancy and baby sick and what not.

Spent Saturday morning actually hysterical when I saw the state of it and am still a little shaky about it.

I know in the scheme of things that having a bad hair cut rates pretty low, but it's really, really knocked my confidence about my appearance which was already taking a bit of a battering over the past year. Hair is now too short to do anything with - I loved putting it up before, having it curly or straight - now I can do literally NOTHING with it. I look absolutely, horrendously awful.

What can I do - has this ever happened to you? And how can I make it better?

Not sure why I'm posting really - just a plea to the ether to help me get a grip.

Countingthegreyhairs Mon 22-Sep-08 13:14:43

Sorry to hear you are so distressed about this AmIDoingThisRight ...I know that feeling of being unhappy about one's appearance post-dc ...and being shouted at can't have been pleasant either!

I'm in Bxls too so I know how difficult it is to find a good cutter here and have suffered my fair share of dreadful ones ..

If it's any help:

(1) tell yourself it WILL grow .. and it will you know ... give it six weeks and things won't seem as bad

(2) can you turn a negative in to a positive by saying to yourself "right, my hair is terrible, so I may as well stop thinking about my appearance for six weeks and concentrate on another aspect of myself and go swimming regularly or to the gym" (instances where short cuts can be useful!!

(3) write a list (if this is not too trite) of five or ten things you have to be grateful about and pin it on your bathroom mirror - so every time you look at yourself - you won't feel so bad ...!!

Er, can you give me a clue as to where you went so I can avoid it in future?!!?

KatieDD Mon 22-Sep-08 13:15:18

I had a holiday ruined by popping in for a trim just before we left so i totally understand, it'll grow (((hugs))))
I hope you didn't pay for it

PuppyMonkey Mon 22-Sep-08 13:18:03

How does it look if you put it behind your ears? Can disguise a bad cut quite well sometimes for a bit. Is there not somewhere else you can go locally for them to put it right?

Or you could use this as an excuse to go and buy a fabulous new hat!! grin

AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 13:22:15

I did pay for it, like an idiot, because my French wasn't good enough to argue properly.

Countingthegreyhairs - thank you, makes sense. Was in WSL - avoid avoid avoid.

Feeling a little raw and foolish about getting so upset over a hair cut when I have a beautiful DS and lovely DH, so getting upset makes me feel even more shallow and silly.

It will grow. I know it grows - it's taken me the best part of a year to grow out the last disastrous hack I had. Will do it myself next time - asked DH to do it for me before but bless him he didn't want to spoil it.

Does nobody in Brussels cut hair properly?

Lizzylou Mon 22-Sep-08 13:22:18

TBH, it sounds like my latest haircut.
Had a cut before having to have my photo taken for my new website, wanted to look all professional, thought it was nice.
Am mortified, due to chubby cheeks my pics make me look like a cabbage patch doll. Now I know I look like Anne Frigging Widdecombe. Wondered why no-one said my hair was nice. It is shit.
Cried all day Saturday when the photos came can't believe I had gone out of the house looking like that.

AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 13:25:36

Too short to put it behind ears - keeps flopping over face. Have scraped it back with kirby grips which looks even worse, but at least is out of the way.

Can't think of the good to come from this - will try though and maybe will laugh about it in about 20 years or so.

Lauriefairycake Mon 22-Sep-08 13:26:25

sympathies first sad

Now, how about a loose perm? IMO even bobbed hair looks good with a wave and a curl, also then harder to see how long something is. Alternatively, how about dyeing it a mad colour like purple - my friend had a severe bob done, didn't like it so undercoloured her hair black with white over the top, was pretty interesting and very avante-garde for a 50 year old.

PoorOldEnid Mon 22-Sep-08 13:27:12

yes this has happened to me and you have my sympahty

but it WILL grow out.

Lizzylou Mon 22-Sep-08 13:27:15

Shall we browse hats together? grin
Sorry for storming in and offloading, but am feeling mightily shite and ugly atm!!!

Countingthegreyhairs Mon 22-Sep-08 13:31:20

Very few!

Put it this way, I'm still looking after years of being here.

Thought I had cracked it last year when I found a wonderful Spanish lady - and she gave me six not wonderful but competent cuts - followed by an absolute dog.

So here we go again ...

Heard good things about Boomba & v. mixed reviews about Toni & Guy

I've taken to stalking women with great cuts and asking them where they get it chopped - the answers usually come back "London, Cologne, Milan" grin

Btw - forgive me 'cos I know it sounds obvious - but while you are still learning French, try and show them a picture of what you want; my French is reasonable but I still find it surprisingly hard to describe a hair cut in subtle terms ...

Countingthegreyhairs Mon 22-Sep-08 13:33:12

How about a cycling helmet grin

At least you will have great calves (if you survive the priority from the right rule of course)!!

AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 13:33:27

Yes please Lizzylou - I know your pain! Is a relief to know there's somebody else at the same time in this predicament.

Is shocking how much of your confidence is tied up in hair. Wanted it to be nice and pretty for DS's christening next month - now will just look like a freak show. It's even accentuated my spotty chin at the moment. Truly am not a vision at the moment.

Lizzylou Mon 22-Sep-08 13:35:07

Your hair will look completely different in a month, or else you will have worked out a way of styling it. Fear not.
Am going to get DH to re-take my pic with our crappy camera, see we are sorted!

Countingthegreyhairs Mon 22-Sep-08 13:36:24

Oh and remember your ds would still adore you even if you had a mullet, dyed your hair green, or shaved it all off grin

AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 13:36:34

Countingthegreyhairs - I know. French is still coming along but was still able to ask for just a trim and specify exactly how much, and even gestured what I want. Will try Boomba next time - maybe in a few years when there's something to work with. Will have a horse tranquiliser beforehand! Or maybe afterwards.

Good plan about the cycling helmet.

AmIDoingThisRight Mon 22-Sep-08 13:39:32

This too will pass, etc. Excellent plan about the camera - you could Photoshop the image too if necessary!

And bless my DS - he gave a big gummy grin when he saw and didn't mind my tear-stained face.

So will try and stop being silly and go into town this afternoon and get some fabulous, attention-diverting boots instead.

Monkeytrousers Mon 22-Sep-08 13:47:42

OMG poor you! I'd be devestated too!

My solution actually is never to go to hairdressers. i cut my own hair. It's v long so now all I have to do is trim the ends off once in a while

Countingthegreyhairs Mon 22-Sep-08 13:54:57

lol at horse tranquilliser ...

there's no excuse if you told them you wanted a trim and gestured how long - that's really shocking ...

(+ one other suggestion - how about buying some curling tongs - they might make the cut a bit less severe and give your hair more height/body/softness)

Enjoy your shopping!

kt14 Mon 22-Sep-08 14:12:16

Exactly the same hair violation happened to me on Fri night. Asked for bare minimum off (it was between chin and shoulder length) - hair now hangs miserably around my ears.

Can't do anything with it, not long enough to style under, not short enough to sit well, looks crap if I straighten it.

Have also resorted to a couple of Accessorize grips and thanking my lucky stars that my hair grows quickly. THe back of my neck is cold even as i type this.

On the bright side, I hardly need to use any shampoo and conditioner anymore..

PuppyMonkey Mon 22-Sep-08 16:15:13

Sorry if I keep making useless suggestions, but how about hair straighteners? Any good at thinning it down or shaping it into a style at all?

widgypog Mon 22-Sep-08 16:44:59

this happened to me once . i went inwith platinum blonde bob and came out with bright red pixie cut. i asked for neither. i was actually hysterical for about a a week .I took nytol every night to help me sleep. Sounds so sad now but I have a phobia of hairdressers and wont let anyone touch it except my trusty hairdresser.

I feel your pain but on the upside it will grow back. Look on ebay and buy yourself a wig . I would have done if they existed then

TsarChasm Mon 22-Sep-08 17:00:51

I am so so sorry for the op; of course anyone in this situation sad.

I have been there myself several times. Last Christmas I felt just awful because of a terrible haircut. Confidence at zero. It's taken me all year to grow it out. How the hairdresser could ever have thought I wanted it when I specifically said the opposite is beyond me. I was so so upset but I sat there, said it was nice hmm, paid the usual arm and a leg and rushed out with my hood up.

Now I need a haircut, I'm terrified of having it done.

I know it's hard for hairdressers to interpret what people want, but I really wish some of them were a little less scissor happy. It really can make a person feel awful to be hacked atsad

It does grow back of course, but it makes me very nervous to go to the hairdressers. I am in fact very sceptical of the 'trim every 6-8 weeks' mantra that they go on about.

Tbh I'd rather go to the dentist.

Verso Mon 22-Sep-08 21:03:43

I totally sympathise. I thought last Autumn that I had finally found a decent hairdresser. I had a fabulous haircut - best I've had in years as I have very coarse, thick, wavy hair which usually freaks hairdressers out.

Went back for a trim a couple of months later and the same hairdresser completely ruined my hair . She thinned it out so much at the back I actually ended up with a bald spot (quite an achievement as I have a LOT of hair)... and lengths all over the place. I've been growing it ever since. I know I need a trim but I can't face it.

It will grow - but I totally understand how crap a bad haircut can make you feel.

Heated Mon 22-Sep-08 21:10:07

It is like the haircut the woman has in the advert on this page?

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