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Appropriate dress at a funeral

(12 Posts)
PrettyCandles Wed 13-Aug-08 00:12:09

I went to an Anglican funeral a couple of days ago, and I was the only person wearing a hat. Was it the wrong thing to do?

I would no more go bare-headed to a funeral than than go bare-shouldered, but then I'm Jewish, and we cover up as a sign of respect.

RedHead81 Wed 13-Aug-08 00:15:22

I suppose it's what makes you comfortable - Wasn't wrong, just not many people wear hats now thats all i think.

So long as it wasn't a bright red/pink one wink

cremolafoam Wed 13-Aug-08 00:18:16

i always wear a hat too.but then maybe it is a jewish thing

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Wed 13-Aug-08 00:24:18

rules regarding the formality of funerals seem to have been relaxed.

PortAndLemon Wed 13-Aug-08 00:41:54

Covering the head isn't particularly seen as a sign of respect in CofE circles any more, I think. It wasn't a wrong thing to do, just something most people wouldn't do.

RedHead81 Wed 13-Aug-08 00:50:29

just going off on a slight tangent here - but at easter in sunday school the Rev. announced in church that If any children had made easter bonnets, the girls could wear theirs, but the boys were only allowed to bring them, and NOT wear theirs in church.

Why is this?
I was told it was disrespectful for a man to wear a hat in church - so why is it different for a woman? And these were 3yo children we were talking about in church, not adults?????

Baffled...
anyone know why???

twentypence Wed 13-Aug-08 00:59:31

It would be nice to think that children don't count as male or female for something like Easter bonnet wearing.

I am currently doing some music for my ds's school play where there is a Haka in the script. Despite the play having been written by a teacher at the school she doesn't seem to have realised that there are only a few boys in Ds's class and that the girls shouldn't do the Haka. I think I would get in more trouble for bare chested girls (ie - I can't dress them all up as boys)

There is another song about a train and I am teaching both to all the children and leaving it to whoever is in charge of cultural matters do decide if girls do the haka in a play (it's not a proper haka which would be beyond reception children, and beyond me really) or whether that's not suitable.

On a Marae I similarly couldn't decide where ds needed to be to walk in, so I positioned him right and the back of the men and myself at the front of the women so we could actually walk in together.

So, I would like to know when children become male or female too.

solo Wed 13-Aug-08 01:03:43

I think it goes back to old fashioned respect. Men tipped or removed their hats for ladies and whilst in their company, but ladies would never remove theirs in mixed company. Same for Church.

RedHead81 Wed 13-Aug-08 01:19:19

i just didn't think it was fair to tell a 3yo that he couldn't wear his easter bonnet when the girls were wearing theirs. I haven't gone back since. It's no wonder young people are disinterested in the church

solidgoldbrass Wed 13-Aug-08 01:29:59

Redhead: well done, don't expose your DC to the misogynist and homophobic bullshit any longer than necessary (becasue that's what it's all about: enforcing rigid gender divisions).

solo Wed 13-Aug-08 01:44:40

I don't understand why they would do that to children though - especially that young.

S1ur Wed 13-Aug-08 01:49:59

Maybe beCause they reckoned it was a important ritual?

I dunno, but I think that the age at which children are considered in adult capacity varies religion to religion to law (secular).

I think it's silly, but I am not religious so hey wink

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