Nice clothes but never wear them - changing mindset

[Yorkshirepuddingforever]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone else has lovely clothes which they never wear?

I have been on a few wardrobe clear out and capsule wardrobe type threads recently which has motivated me to sort things out and this has made me realise I actually have a lot of nice clothes. My problem is I have some kind of psychological block about wearing them and end up wearing the same old things.

Has anyone had this same issue and resolved it? I don't think it helps that I am working from home and now the schools are shut also have 2 kids at home. Also about to give birth so most of it doesn't fit at the moment but want to try and start wearing the nice stuff as soon as it fits.

Thanks 😊

[AC2022]

No advice but I completely empathise. I keep my nicest things as a sort of ‘best’ and end up never wearing them. I lost a lot of weight recently and had a wardrobe clear out, and i was annoyed by the nice stuff I kept for ‘best’ and never really wore, and will never wear now.

I’d love to have a stab at resolving this.

[OhioOhioOhio]

Me too.

[Uhohmummy]

I do this and am trying to get out of this rut. My problem is that I buy nice things that don’t suit my lifestyle - I spend money on smart/going out clothes when actually I work part time in a casual job and have 3 young children. Over the last few months I’ve started buying nicer every day things - better jeans and shoes/boots, quality t shirts, knitwear and a casual coat. I think it is starting to work and I feel better in my every day clothes. Still need to declutter though.

[ItsDinah]

Three rules:-
1.Capsule wardrobe
2 Don't buy anything you're not going to wear immediately.

1. One in one out.
   

It might help if you plan what you will wear for a week. Pick out the complete outfits,underwear,shoes,jewellery etc. Pick on the basis they will be seen by someone whose opinion you value.

Rate your clothes on how good they make you look/feel. Marks out of 10. Chuck them out if they score less than 9.

[DramaAlpaca]

Yes, me too. I need to sort this when lockdown is over.

[Uhohmummy]

Good rules Dinah
I think also be honest about your style. Don’t buy a silk shirt you’ll never wear if you always reach for t shirts. Instead buy one or two good quality t shirts with cut/neckline/colour that suits you.

[Donotgogentle]

Start wearing your best clothes now, in lockdown.

Who knows what will happen, we may as well take pleasure in the lovely things we have.

[shiningstar2]

Before lock down I was trying to avoid buying anything that didn't make me feel good. I was determined to stop going our and coming back with clothes that 'would do'. My strategy was to always do clothes shopping in an outfit I really liked and flattered me. When I tried something new on, if I didn't like it as much or better than what I was wearing it stayed in the shop. When I started doing this I started to like a whole lot more of my wardrobe. I'm still shocked about how much I used to spend on things which were a bit mediocre.

[Faith50]

Aside from occasion and going out wear, I wear all my clothes in lockdown. I plan what I will wear ahead of the coming week with glee. Though my colleagues can only see me from the shoulders up, I feel good getting dressed, washing/blowdrying my hair and applying make and jewellery.

I do not believe in 'saving' clothes unless they are occasion wear. Life is miserable enough as it is at present, we need to add a little joy where we can.

[Faith50]

shiningstar Great tip!

I now refuse to buy anything I do not love, even a simple item such as a vest top or a cardigan must fit well and flatter enough to make me smile. I have left behind the "this is okay" mindset.

[Robbybobtail]

Yep. I buy clothes for the life I want instead of the life I have!

So I’m drawn to pretty clothes, dresses etc but the reality is I’m a sahm and spend my days cleaning and looking after the dc’s. I live in running leggings and t shirts!

Lockdown has made me realise how much money I wasted on clothes before though and that I often went shopping out of boredom. I don’t think il do that so much even when things return to normal.

[RemarkableLemur]

I saw something about this on Instagram a while ago. Apparently this is caused by buying clothes for the life you wish you had, instead of for the life you have.

I'm not too far off 50 and I've been making this mistake all through my adult life. I've at last realised that I don't need pretty dresses, skirts and tops, because I slouch around at home in comfortable clothes, so all those things I've bought get saved for best, but there aren't enough occasions to wear them. Or I forget I have them.

This winter I've bought warm cosy jumpers. I've treated myself to good quality ones and spent more than I usually would have on a jumper. I was worried I might feel I ought to save them for best. But because my house is cold and they're cosy I've worn them so much.

[LegendDairy]

Wear your best today.

[StarlightLady]

I think it must be more difficult if you are about to give birth. For myself, although l’ve been working from home for quite some time, l usually wear a dress for work and a little make up. Although knickers have become a bit of an optional extra indoors if I’m honest.

Friday lunchtime is my “Posh Walk Day”, l’m out for an hour, l get dressed up as if l’m going out on a date and might get lucky, often a posh frock, nice shoes, other bits, best handbag etc. Then a big duvet coat goes over the top. So, nobody you see knows anyway, but, for me, physiologically, it’s good!

[ButwhereisMYcoffee]

I think give yourself a bit of a break as the pandemic has consigned a lot of us to casuals wear. But yes, I have realised that I have £80 trousers and £80 lululemon leggings (the latter I bought in a terrible mood and it felt like such a crazy waste of money). Guess what, I wear the lululemons about twice a week at the moment, the trousers have been in the wardrobe for a year.

So I have bought a gorgeous new puffer and two pairs of expensive trainers in the last year as realistically, that’s the type of stuff I wear the most right now. But I am still keeping all my lovely clothes for when we emerge!

[Kndg]

Yes yes yes! Totally empathise with this. I have loads of new clothes that I can't bring myself to wear due to lock down. I'm a SAHM so live in leggings and jumpers atm, seems no point in wearing nice new clothes.
I always remember when my darling Nanna died years ago we all met at her house to start clearing it out, she had loads of new jumpers, blouses, perfumes etc that she had never worn due to 'keeping it for best.'

I suggest we all wear something new today! I bought a floral silk shirt a while back so I may wear that, even though the furthest I'll be going is taking ddog for a walk 😊

[PJsEveryday]

I empathise and a pp hit the nail on the head - I think I've been buying fir the lifestyke I want to lead, not the one I do lead. That, and weight gain due to comfort eating weight gain means that i have lots of clothes that still have their tags on them. I've started to do something about the weight si hopefully I will fit into my clothes soon. Then I just need to find the courage to wear the stylish clothes I'm not used to wearing.

[Iamthewombat]

I actually have a lot of nice clothes. My problem is I have some kind of psychological block about wearing them and end up wearing the same old things.

Is it a psychological block, or is it that you can’t really go anywhere to wear them at the moment?

Apart from a few brief interludes, we haven’t been able to spend anywhere near as much time in restaurants, bars etc., there haven’t been any big formal events and no parties, Christmas gatherings etc.

So not much opportunity to wear the going out gear, and because so many people with office-type jobs are working from home, the smart office clothes languish in the wardrobe.

Are you saying that you are reluctant to wear your nice clothes even in normal times, or is it just recently, because of the pandemic? The latter is understandable, because who wants to wear a fitted dress or a pencil skirt to sit at the dining table with a laptop?

I haven’t worn anything posh for ages, either, but it has made me more determined to do so when the opportunity arises. I’m so bored of jeans and sweaters (or in the summer, shorts and t shirts).

[thedevilinablackdress]

I bought a dress in early March last year, for going out. It sat there for months, unworn. I recently started wearing it while WFH and it cheers me immensely.

[Tatapie]

Yup. I'm a 12. Definitely. Have lots of jeans in 12 including M & S except the last pair where I had to reorder a 14 which fitted perfectly- why?!!! Infuriating!

[Faith50]

kndg
My nan is the same. Kept glassware, towels, nightwear, clothes for 'best' and for 'guests'.

When I was a teenager, I did not own a lot of clothes and shoes. I looked after my belongings well to keep them in good condition. I wore one pair of shoes to school and one for the weekend. My then friend asked why I did this. She owned at least 5 pairs of shoes costing £60+ which was a lot of money 30 odd years ago.

I also owned only one coat at any one time which I felt embarrassed about. Now I have multiple coats for every occasion - walking, school run, work, weekends, special occasions. I thoroughly enjoy mixing and matching.

[BlairWaldorfLovesShopping]

I think if you fit into the nice clothes and you want to wear them, and (a big one for me) you're happy to keep them clean - a LOT of my "nice clothes" are dry clean only, f that with a toddler around - then you should just do it and see how you feel.

It's easy to get into a rut in lockdown and especially when you are pregnant so I can totally understand how you're feeling. You just want to wear all the nice things but you can't because they don't fit and it feels like there's no point! It sucks.

[Greyhairwarmheart]

I wear my clothes on rotation so I wear what is at the front of my wardrobe then put it to the back. Out of season clothes are stored in the attic. It stops me buying so much as I can see how many clothes I have. If I put something on and its uncomfortable then it goes to the charity shop. Good fun too to see what I'll be wearing each day!

[MoltenLasagne]

I think there's a few possibilities:

1. Items that don't suit you that you don't really like
2. Items you love that don't suit your lifestyle
3. Items you love but don't go with anything else in your wardrobe

I got rid of all of category 1 first. Then I found the filler pieces to address category 3 and now only buy items that I know go with what I currently have (rule of 3 - have to be able to make 3 outfits from it).

Of course lockdown and being pregnant means about 90% of my wardrobe falls into category 2 at the moment but I'm hoping that will change by the summer! We'll see...