Wig wearers for permanent hair loss reasons - help me please

[weirdstone]

Does anyone wear a wig day in, day out? I would love some pointers for good suppliers, hair colours, haircuts etc.

I’m contemplating shaving what’s left of my hair off and wearing a wig. Probably the glue on kind, although I’d consider a Lucinda Ellery “system”.

[ilovecherries]

I do, have been bald since I was 19. I never glue, I just plop it on and go, never budges. I have, ahem, many wigs, all different styles and colours. I buy my ‘good’ ones from Simply Wigs and Valentine Wigs, and cheap ones for wearing under hats from Amazon.

[weirdstone]

Thank you so much for the reply @ilovecherries

I want something that looks as real and natural as possible. I have quite a public-facing role in my industry and a lot of people know what I used to look like before. (I’m not famous, before you ask!)
Which of your wigs looks most like you, IYKWIM? Did you get it cut by your hairdresser or did you use a specialist?

In an ideal world I’d like something that’s my own hair colour and texture. Ironically DD has identical hair. I have given serious thought to chopping off her plait and handing it to a wigmaker!

[ilovecherries]

I think for me it’s different as I really have no idea what my hair should or would look like, plus I never had my own hair in ‘real’ adult life. That has given me a lot of freedom to experiment. The one I wear most for work is a platinum blond lob with darker roots, but everyone who knows me knows it’s not mine - and some days I just show up bald with a shit load of red lipstick. For me, hair is just another accessory. I don’t care if anyone looks at my hair and realises it’s a wig - what I don’t ever want is for them to think ‘bad wig’ so I’m ruthless about retiring then if they get in the least worn. I have never been able to wear human hair - ethically I have issues with it, but it also makes me shudder a little for some reason. All mine are synthetic with mono filament tops to give a scalp appearance at the parting and a decent lace front. I have had them cut by a hairdresser, but few really understand how to cut it so I tend to go to a specialist. I also get them to cut baby hairs into the hairline to help the appearance.

[weirdstone]

Thank you again @ilovecherries. Really interesting to read about your experience of hair loss too. It’s such a taboo subject, isn’t it?

I’ve spent an age on the two websites you mentioned and have ordered the Evanna to try.

It was all a bit depressing if I’m honest, but I know a hairdresser can change them quite dramatically. I don’t particularly want to go from thin hair and artfully disguised alopecia areata to a Tina Turner mane but I think brazening it out will be the only way.

[Otherplans]

May I ask how you got on with the Evanna? I'm in the same position. I'm shielding so only really need it to look convincing for zoom calls (and don't want to discuss my prognosis with random colleagues).

[Pandsbear]

Take a look at Beautiful Betsy. Depending on how thick your own hair was/is the toppers are pretty dense coverage even though they are not full wigs as such.

[weirdstone]

@Otherplans I’m afraid I bottled it and didn’t go ahead with my order. I’d want my hairdresser involved and there’s no chance of getting an appointment with her before Christmas. I’m also not ready mentally to shave the hair I do have.

That said, the Betsy website looks very promising and I’m tempted to book an appointment. Again, no chance of that happening soon.

I am sorry about your issues, by the way. It all sucks, doesn’t it? Major hair loss is such a disfigurement, and has arguably caused me more distress than the underlying degenerative condition that has caused it.

[Sometimesonly]

Following with interest. My hair loss is all at the front though so shaving seems drastic but I hate my hair line - it is so far back that on zoom meetings I look like an egg!

[M0rT]

I know your looking for help from permanent hair loss people but I thought that what you want to do is more similar to people going through chemo.
Trying to look the same as before to keep your business private.
I lost my hair during chemo and I had both a synthetic and real hair wig.
I wore the synthetic a lot more as it was shorter and once washed fell into style perfectly.
The natural hair one was like natural hair so needed blow drying etc.
I matched my hair colour as closely as possible to the natural one and had it cut into the style it had been in by my normal hairdresser. When I wore it people who knew me but not well enough to know I was on chemo didn't realise anything.
I had a very funny cross purposes conversation with someone I thought had heard but hadn't.
She noticed nothing different in my appearance.
So it is possible to go under the radar.
Also I only found out this summer that my cousin has been wearing toppers for years!
I never realised, just thought she had changed her hairstyle.

[Otherplans]

weirdstone thank you. Yes it's a constant reminder and a difficult time for any hairdresser tweaks!
M0rT I've been thinking about synthetics at least till I've stopped shielding. Interestingthat they can look so natural.

[ilovecherries]

Evanna has a lot of permatease - it’s a signature of noriko wigs. Some Amore wigs - eg the Erika have less or none and do they do give a more natural look. Some of the Ellen Wille collection also have very little permatease so they don’t overwhelm you with hair. For me though, it was about a mindset shift, I simply refuse to be defined by my (lack of!) hair. It is what it is and I’ve had a normal happy life without it. I’d be lying if I never said ‘I wish...’ even after all this time. But then I wish occasionally for other things that are probably as unlikely to happen, and I don’t let the lack of them make me miserable, so I’m not going to give power to my scalp. I know that sounds easy to say, and it was a hard lesson at 19, but honestly, I’m at peace with it.

[Otherplans]

I hope I have half your courage ilovecherries. I've just fallen down a rabbit hole of terminology and styles, so I'll keep looking.

[ilovecherries]

I think it must be much harder when you are trying to cope with chemo on top on hair loss. I still have random people who have never previously realised ask my DH in a hushed tone ‘is cherries sick?’ And I still hate that they use the state of my head to try to work out other things about me. I’ve also had young girls and old men offer me seats on public transport for what I assume is a similar reason, although that bothers me less as it comes from a kind place rather than a nosey one. But I had it lucky in a sense, in that I basically just woke up one morning and half of it was gone. The rest fell out over the following week and my then BF shaved the last 10% for me and told me he thought I was super-hot bald. He didn’t last but he helped frame how I thought about it and I will always remember him and be grateful to him for that. And as I was otherwise healthy I didn’t have any other shit to deal with. I hope you feel a lot better soon.

[Otherplans]

Thank you. I may come back to the thread with my own wig adventures.