I need to change my hair mindset!

[JimmyJabs]

I have naturally wavy hair which I've been straightening for years - I used to get bullied for my hair at school, then the whole poker-straight look came in during the 00s, and really I've not thought about leaving it natural for a long time.

I've now started losing hair because of medication side effects, so I've been using lockdown to try weaning myself off the straighteners. People have seen me with my natural waves, and I've had nothing but compliments. But in my own head, it looks messy and childish. I just prefer the way it looks when I've straightened it! That would be fine if my hair was healthy and strong, but it isn't and I really do need to stop the heat styling.

How do I throw off the conditioning I've experienced throughout my life that curls = something to be picked on, or unprofessional looking? Pics show my hair in both states...

[MikeUniformMike]

I am old enough to remember straightened her the first time round then curls were what everyone wanted.Nearly everyone had a perm.

I''d grow it slightly longer and scrunch it when damp and let the waves free.

Look at the curly threads.

My hair is wavy, and I have never straightened it. A curly haired friend lives in fear of rain and can't live without Fizz-ease. A poker haired friend has a perm.

Make your hair your friend not your enemy.

[ZarasHouse]

I think your curls look lovely. I am very envious! I can't get curls to stick in my very fine hair. I would do anything for curls (recently I have been considering getting a perm, yes really!). I love the volume they have, they look glorious on youthful faces, and create a beautiful frame as people age.

They are very 'in' right now too. They are having their moment (and well over due!). Straightened hair is even straighter than natural straight hair, it looks flat and lifeless and gets damaged easily. You end up with frazzled and broken bits everywhere. People's heads end up looking a bit flat. It's the worst kind of hair processing from a a damage point of view, and can be a very harsh line framing people's faces. A lovely bouncy blow dry, natural waves or curls look healthy and bouncy. I really think health is what the look is in health and beauty at the moment. It's about being the best version of your natural self, so hair and makeup should be making the most of what nature gave you, not trying to fight against it.

But I get the wanting what you don't have. As I said, I absolutely love curls and have been drawn to perming. Not 80s style but a looser curl. We all want to experiment and enjoy different styles and looks, but when your hair is thinning for whatever reason you really need to concentrate on its health, not chemically processing or heat styling. your hair is screaming out for some scalp treatments and deep conditioning, some T-shirt scrunching curly-girl style and staying away from artificial heat. And the curls are 😍😍😍

[Craddle64]

Yeah i was picked on for havibg curly hair, also remember the poker hair trend and how curly or wavy hair was seen as a bane
I think your hair looks nicer curly. Im not saying it just so .. many people comparatively look nicer with it straight ime but yours looks really nice. It gives me the impression of you being creative, artsy and modern.
Fucking childhood bullying wounds messing with you..you look great with it naturally! Best wishes with your health.

[Notarealmum]

Looks great - wish I had curly/wavy hair!

[MsChatterbox]

Your hair looks so much better with curls. It has life and looks healthy. I think the only way to change your mindset is to continue having curls and experiencing people either complimenting or not even noticing.

[OhioOhioOhio]

I have exactly the same issue with my hair.

[JimmyJabs]

I like the creative, artsy, modern comment. Couldn't be further from the truth, but it's not an unattractive vibe to be giving off!

[thedevilinablackdress]

Genuinely - it looks much better curly. Healthier.