Page 10 | "Nobody ever told me" thread

(364 Posts)
littlecatfeet Mon 31-Aug-20 22:13:47

I was wondering, do you have any personal style/beauty tips that you worked out all by yourself?

I have two:
1. Never ever apply perfume when you're under stress - running late, or angry, or anxious - it seems to cause that horrible reaction that makes perfume unbearable.
2. When you are carrying 'le flab' (as I call it) a silk slip looks a million times better under a dress than shapewear. It slides past your creases and moves naturally. And you're comfortable!

What hard-won or fluke inspirations do you have to share?

OP’s posts: |
IdblowJonSnow Wed 02-Sep-20 06:29:09

Go easy on prints. They make me look larger than I am.
Heels (sadly) are more flattering. On me anyway, I'm really short.

Snipples Wed 02-Sep-20 06:46:09

I'm getting so many gems from this thread!

My top tips are:

- wear neutrals or a limited colour palette to look more put together. Clothes will look more expensive if not in the "trendy" colours

- I buy skinny jeans one size up to avoid any muffin top caused by digging in

- you can't really go wrong with classic red nails/ toes and lips

- only buy items that go with at least 5 other things in your wardrobe (for dresses think shoes/ jackets/ accessories)

- keep accessories simple and few - so one statement necklace or bracelet not both, or a hairband not lots of jingly chains

- if struggling for time in the morning, I'll throw dry shampoo in hair and wash my fringe only

- know your skirt length. Mine is midi - anything above the knee and it adds about 2 stone to me!

Housewife2010 Wed 02-Sep-20 06:52:55

Save hotel disposable shower caps and use them when you have applied hair colour and are waiting for it to develop. For years I used cling film to stop the dye drips but disposable shower caps are quicker and far less messier. I also bin the useless plastic gloves that come with the dye and get a box of multiple pairs from Home Bargains for a £1. Always cover your hair line and ears with vaseline or something similar before you start too.

thethoughtfox Wed 02-Sep-20 07:10:07

Tubing mascara is better than waterproof mascara if you have oily eyelids/ in a warm environment. It's also very gentle and is removed with just warm water.

Maryberrysbomberjacket Wed 02-Sep-20 07:34:24

Re the knickers over tights; buy better tights! Snag tights have changed my life and that if many friends grin

Also, be prepared to experiment with skincare. I have the best skin of my life in my 40s now using The Ordinary. Once you find what works best for you, skincare is simple.

Benjispruce2 Wed 02-Sep-20 09:04:21

Agree @medusawashere with everything you said. So much more fun to be you,not a clone. I’m late 40s, love clothes but know what suits me. I’m a slight pear shape and jumpsuits have been a surprisingly good look on me the last couple of years. I wear them with white trainers or heels or Birkenstock style sandals. Try one if you haven’t already. I have medium length hair but have friends in their 50s with short hair who look great. My DM was always trendy and at 75 had a blonde pixie cut and was never a frump. She’s my style icon.flowers

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Benjispruce2 Wed 02-Sep-20 09:08:42

@Graphista that is maddening. I hate it when shops start selling think vest type tops in February!!! It seems to be full on summer clothes or depths of winter and nothing in between sometimes.

Benjispruce2 Wed 02-Sep-20 09:08:58

Thin not think

Notarealmum Wed 02-Sep-20 09:17:13

Life’s too short to wear boring clothes, is my mantra. (Also applies to hair).

Pikachubaby Wed 02-Sep-20 09:33:52

What I learned last week was eye opener:

Wearing flattering clothes, or choosing clothes specifically to flatter you is (supposedly) ageing in itself

Wearing boyfriend jeans, baggy tops, voluminous sleeves, boxy sweats, clunky shoes etc are all a sign that you’re with it grin

Wanting anything flattering, nipped in waist, fitted, nicely tailored is supposedly very ageing grin

For some reason that struck a chord with me.

I am too old wink to get away with unflattering “fashion” choices, so I guess this is where fashion and I go our separate ways smile

Just bought some Converse to celebrate wine

Plussizejumpsuit Wed 02-Sep-20 09:34:44

Maryberrysbomberjacket

Re the knickers over tights; buy better tights! Snag tights have changed my life and that if many friends grin

Also, be prepared to experiment with skincare. I have the best skin of my life in my 40s now using The Ordinary. Once you find what works best for you, skincare is simple.

Snag tights don't fit me. I spent 30 quid on them. Every one is wild for them. But one size is too small the other too big. So I'm not just being cheap. People have different shaped bodies! (shockingly) so my other advice is take everything on the thread with a pinch of salt!

Benjispruce2 Wed 02-Sep-20 09:52:07

Next do good high waisted tights.

Floisme Wed 02-Sep-20 09:59:38

That I will never properly nail what suits me because life and my body are too changeable. And that in any case I'm fickle and get bored. The only solution is to keep reviewing what I wear - at least every couple of years.

That the whole idea of what is flattering is, in itself, subject to fashion.

That there is no such thing as timeless. Even the shape of a collar or sleeve will date a so-called classic piece.

But that equally some looks come round again and again.

That the idea that you shouldn't wear a trend the second time round was dreamed up by a child who thought they would be dead at 50.

That children are great but useless at style advice.

That fashion is fun but not worth taking too seriously.

CatherineTheNotSoGreat Wed 02-Sep-20 10:57:34

My 'Nobody ever told me' that I wish I had been told at the age of 12 is to stop giving a blind fuck about what everyone else thinks.
You'll make mistakes but you'll find your way.

To this day, and I'm in my 50s, I feel somewhat rule-bound, though I'm getting better. It is a curse.

I had hoped that this would improve for women in the next generations, but judging by the comments on this thread, and my own DD, it would seem we haven't moved on very much. It is a little soul destroying. I would bet there aren't many equivalent threads from men telling them what to wear.

MikeUniformMike Wed 02-Sep-20 11:08:23

I had my colours done. The woman who did it had that look. You know the dress in her colour, the matching shoes, the scarf, the brooch, the age-appropriate hairstyle.

I know that at my age that is probably how I should look but I'm happy in my straight jeans and slightly fitted t-shirt or my dungarees and DMs.

notwavingbutdrowning5 Wed 02-Sep-20 11:39:31

I've gradually realised that texture is almost as important as colour. So the infamous Crisp White Shirt, for example, drains my complexion but a white T-shirt or cotton jumper is fine. Also, a skirt/trousers with a top in the same texture can look a bit dull, but if you mix it up with a chunky jumper or silk top it's so much better. So I now aim for a mixture of rough and smooth. I find that the older I get, the more important texture is to me anyway – I'll buy things almost entirely for the way they feel sometimes.

The shortest shortcut to frumpy for me is getting the neckline wrong - it needs to be a boat neck, or a slightly dipped round neck, not a standard round neck like in a classic T shirt. I spent decades thinking I SHOULD look all right in various necklines and now I've accepted that I don't and I avoid them and feel much better for it.

There's a whole range of colours that look much classier with white than with black - camel, grey, bright pastels. So I've invested in a (washable) white skirt and (non-skinny) white jeans. After years of the safety of black it feels quite liberating (I've led a very sheltered life, as you can probably tell).

And finally - only buy something if you love it so much you want to walk out of the shop wearing it. Otherwise you risk buying it because it's something you ought to like rather than something you really like.

That is the sum total of my six decades of fashion wisdom. Other than that clothes are slippery, duplicitous bastards that can look perfectly fine and flattering when you get dressed in the morning but all kinds of hideous wrong when you're out and about and catch sight of yourself in a mirror unexpectedly.

CatherineTheNotSoGreat Wed 02-Sep-20 12:13:51

Other than that clothes are slippery, duplicitous bastards that can look perfectly fine and flattering when you get dressed in the morning but all kinds of hideous wrong when you're out and about and catch sight of yourself in a mirror unexpectedly.

SO so true grinangry

BunnyLovesBananas Wed 02-Sep-20 12:39:07

Black doesn't actually go with everything.

This

Could also read "black leggings / shoes / cardigan do not go with everything"

also:

Wearing all one colour or same shade family looks better / more put together than a mix.

A wet flannel or make up eraser is the best thing to clean your face with.

If you feel like crap it's probably because (in my case) you're tired, hungry or hormonal

IntermittentParps Wed 02-Sep-20 12:47:42

I agree re black. I only wear it if I'm wearing all black, or maybe monochrome; although even then I'd go for, say, a plain black top and trousers with a black and white print, stripe or knit, rather than all plain colours.

ALLIS0N Wed 02-Sep-20 13:55:03

Excellent post @notwavingbutdrowning5

woodhill Wed 02-Sep-20 13:58:21

Bluesheep8

*Lots of medium intensity walking is THE BEST thing for an overall toned body.*

At the risk of sounding like a negative Nancy, not necessarily. I do loads of walking and I am certainly not toned. And it does nothing to counteract middle age weight gain. Sorry but I have to disagree.


Tend to agree - What does help though? I like to walk

LilyLongJohn Wed 02-Sep-20 14:11:12

@QuentinInQuarantino the earring one - geniusgrin

LilyLongJohn Wed 02-Sep-20 14:14:05

Wear what suits you, not what you think makes you look slimmer. Buy the right size

Comfy shoes, I know I'm 47 but I've spent years wearing uncomfortable shoes that I think look great, I now live in flats, trainers, shoes and boots and I'm so much happier smile

A blazer takes jeans and T-shirt to the next level

You don't have to be skinny and young to have funky short hair

Hair makes or breaks your look

IntermittentParps Wed 02-Sep-20 14:33:41

You don't have to be skinny and young to have funky short hair

Agree. I love Denise Mina's hair.

stella47 Wed 02-Sep-20 16:45:14

I wish I'd known when I was young that my skin/spots were hormonal and worse at certain times of the month. I didn't, so I'd get spots, use those paint-stripper toners to try to remove all oil, and that Aapri facial scrub (like rubbing sand and gravel into your face). Which of course just made things worse. So my advice to myself id don't do harsh things to your skin to try to get rid of time of the month spots.

Also, I used to think I needed waterproof mascara as that would last best - it never did (though the resulting panda eyes were pretty long-lasting. Eventually realised that "smudge-proof" is much better, unless you're actually going swimming.

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