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Help me style my fussy teen?

(39 Posts)
Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:13:35

Dd is starting 6 form in a couple weeks, she has Aspergers, sensory issues with clothing and doesn’t wear girly clothing (prefers non binary clothing), she can’t tolerate jeans or anything with a button up waist. At home she lives in joggers and shorts from the boys section in next, she wears slogan T-shirt’s mainly from Emp and Qwertee.
School say she has to dress in sensible clothing but they are not very strict (as long as no belly is on show and no short skirts etc..).

She’s a very odd shape due to her having a bone condition, she’s has a small waist but large hips and bum, large boobs but small back. She’s 5”2.

I need to find her some kind of jacket to wear for the autumn and she needs shoes/trainers but due to her feet being very bendy and very small shoes/trainers need to be supportive and comfy whilst being trendy.

I want her to be able to dress how she likes but also don’t want her to look messy or get bullied.

What are most 16 year olds wearing other than skinny jeans, just casual wear? And what brands are they buying?

OP’s posts: |
Ellewoods20 Tue 18-Aug-20 14:01:19

At college, people tend to wear what they feel comfy in. A lot of girls wore leggings and a hoodie when I was there.

roundandsideways Tue 18-Aug-20 15:01:24

At my sons 6th form there is a dress code, but it's more flexible for the girls, who tend to wear cropped trousers, doc marten shoes or boots, or trainers. Some wear short dresses, not too short with tights and boots in the winter.

roundandsideways Tue 18-Aug-20 15:03:20

She could wear joggers, with boots or trainers and T-shirt's, lots of teen girls dress that way. Usually worn with a shortish T-shirt or t shirt tucked in with a cropped hoodie

roundandsideways Tue 18-Aug-20 15:05:13

I would get her a cropped Borg jacket, or faux sheepskin jacket.

roundandsideways Tue 18-Aug-20 15:05:44

This seems to be the teen uniform in my area anyway

Lockdownhairdontcare Tue 18-Aug-20 15:18:25

16yr old DD and her friends (all varying shapes and sizes) wear a school uniform but out with they seem to be wearing a mixture of;

High waisted jeggings, slogan T-shirt tucked in and sheep jacket with converse.

Denim or fabric pinafore, white T-shirt, suede biker jacket and vans.

Midi skirt, black or white T-shirt, vans or converse and denim jacket.

She has a parka style winter coat and leather ankle boots for winter but the clothing rarely changes... perhaps additional slouchy cardigan or hoodie.

ChavvySexPond Tue 18-Aug-20 15:47:03

Would Billie Eilish be a good style icon? She seems to wear a lot of baggy, comfy stuff.

Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 15:48:38


Would Billie Eilish be a good style icon? She seems to wear a lot of baggy, comfy stuff.

Yes, possibly, though she’s not keen on her she would happily wear what she wears.

OP’s posts: |
Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 15:51:22

Thank you for all the suggestions especially for jackets.

I bought her a pair of vans a while ago but she’s refusing to wear them in, she says they hurt her feet but they are boots rather than shoes, she likes converse but don’t want to order them online, she will have to agree to going to try some on which is tricky at the moment.

She will wear leggings and hoodies.

School have a dress code, they are meant to dress as they would if going to work 🤔, as far as I’m aware no one really goes dressed in office cloths.

OP’s posts: |
crumpet Tue 18-Aug-20 15:58:55

Would Doc Martens work? Dd has the shoes and the boots (although the boots have now been banned by the school). Once worn in they are very supportive and comfortable.

Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 16:02:28

I wish she would wear doc’s (I love them) but she refuses as they need wearing in a bit. I could try her again, she would be allowed to wear them.

OP’s posts: |
roundandsideways Tue 18-Aug-20 16:36:07

Ah yes, my sons 6th form is also 'office attire', which for the boys means a suit, shirt and tie. But the girls wear trousers with t shirts, you can get elasticated trousers that are slightly cropped. Shoes tend to be a mix of docs, kickers, or brogues. Leggings are not allowed, or joggers. Dresses, with tights and ankle boots, or

ChavvySexPond Tue 18-Aug-20 17:00:22

Sorry to not be much help.

I've got boys,

But would this sort of shape top with roll sleeves read as fashion rather than too casual whilst being comfy and unrestrictive?

Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:02:36

I think they are allowed black leggings, smart trousers and Jeans (not ripped), she can tolerate leggings just about, hates skinny jeans or anything tight.

I have bid on a pair of D’ms and converse on eBay, I refuse to buy new until I know she’s going to wear them as o have spent a fortune on shoes in the past and they are still sat here in boxes.

Trying to get her to choose a jacket.

OP’s posts: |
Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:05:09


Sorry to not be much help.

I've got boys,

But would this sort of shape top with roll sleeves read as fashion rather than too casual whilst being comfy and unrestrictive?

I will show her, looks like something she would agree to wearing.

OP’s posts: |
ChavvySexPond Tue 18-Aug-20 17:15:51

Is she likely to ask for things to "fit in" once she's there? Even my lot have crazes for the same jacket or trainers now and then.

And I remember when mine were small one summer all teenage boys seemed to be wearing a pink polo and chinos.

On one hand I don't envy you, teenage fashion can be hard to decode, but on the other hand I do. I'm never going to have to do this for boys.

Oh and on the DMs front all the padding and plasters and thick socks to begin with. I don't have the patience to wear things in any more but that's what we did back in the day.

icedbun5 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:21:17

What about these?

Like joggers but smarter.

*Disclaimer-wouldn't normally recommend Next for sixteen year olds.

My dd has bought sweatshirts (not hoodies) from H&M and some plain or slightly graphic t-shirts from there too, and she is wearing DMs.

Lovemusic33 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:22:01

She’s never worried about fitting in at all because she doesn’t fit in. She has been bullied all through school due to being different and not girly sad. She says her friends wear Nike air max and she doesn’t want to wear them, same with any cropped tops or anything slightly revealing, she won’t wear make up, doesn’t do much with her hair.

I guess I’m more worried than she is about fitting in as I don’t want her to be picked on. It would be less worrying if she had her own style but she doesn’t unless you could living in jogging bottoms as style? I have to remind her to shower, to brush her hair and to wear deodorant so she clearly doesn’t care what she looks or smells like. She then comes home saying she’s being bullied and has no friends and it breaks my heart, I want to help her but also I want her to remain individual and different.

OP’s posts: |
icedbun5 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:22:09

YogiMatte Tue 18-Aug-20 17:22:45

Are chunky thick soled trainers allowed by the 6th form?

Winkywoop Tue 18-Aug-20 17:25:41

Wouldshe try some wide leg trousers/cutlottes like these? Very very comfy!

Also, these trainers are very comfy and supportive and require no wearing in

MrDarcysMa Tue 18-Aug-20 17:27:02

Why don't you look in new look/ pull and bear and other stores aimed at her age group then look for items in there with elastic aged waist bands, suitable coats etc.

If shoes have to be flexible/comfy and you can afford brands, Nike fly knit type ones could be a good bet

ttigerlilly Tue 18-Aug-20 17:27:14

H&M sell some lovely trousers which are similar to joggers, but a bit smarter and very comfortable, they're around £12. They also stock leggings in loads of different colours and patterns which are cotton and also very comfortable.

Shoe wise - I'm not sure if they would be to her taste but the comfiest shoes I have ever worn are my Reebok Classics. You just can't go wrong.

Hope you both find something she likes smile

ttigerlilly Tue 18-Aug-20 17:28:34

Link to the shoes -

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