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Can’t ignore grey hair any longer

(40 Posts)
user1480880826 Fri 28-Feb-20 07:13:09

I’ve had a few grey hairs for a about 4 years now but they’re finally starting to grow in noticeable places like in my parting. I don’t think I can ignore them any longer.

I have mid brown hair and the thought of having to spend loads of money dying it every few weeks fills me with dread. I suppose I can afford it but it seems like a chore and there are things I would rather spend my money on.

What are my options? I don’t know the first thing about covering grey hair.

OP’s posts: |
cloughie100 Fri 28-Feb-20 07:23:17

You could look at half a head of low lights to blend in grey rather than a block colour or hold off colouring and see if you like the grey ?!

Wellthatsit Fri 28-Feb-20 07:56:29

Leave it to go grey naturally? Look at others who have done this and you will see lots of amazing looking women with salt and pepper hair looking confident and happy. You might have to change your cut, but then that can be a good thing - an opportunity to refresh your look. If you start dying it now you will get more and more stuck, as the grey us going to increase and then it becomes ever harder to go grey naturally.

NiteFlights Fri 28-Feb-20 08:49:42

Yes, could you try holding out a bit longer and see how it goes? Possibly get your hair cut slightly more often, or change your cut as pp said, make sure it looks intentional.

megletthesecond Fri 28-Feb-20 08:51:53

Leave it alone. It'll settle down in time.
"Lazy" natural salt n pepper hair here.

thedevilinablackdress Fri 28-Feb-20 09:17:45

Another vote for ignoring. Dyeing your hair should be for fun.

okiedokieme Fri 28-Feb-20 09:24:03

I'm in the same situation, I had highlights and low lights put in 2 months ago and still blending well, I can hack going every 3 months but it takes hours!

Chewbecca Fri 28-Feb-20 10:20:39

I started on this game a couple of years ago (45) after a lifetime of un-dyed mid brown hair when I thought I had too many greys in my parting.

I’ve got no positive advice but this is my experience.

I haven’t found the answer yet. I started with highlights but they ended up blending into one another so I felt I had a mass of blonde-ish hair near the ends and the roots remained brown with grey bits. The blonde bit was fuzzy textured too which I didn’t like. I’m now trying highlights but just a range of browns with a glossy something. It is better but I am still not v happy with it. I just want my old hair really but I guess that is not an option.

In a nutshell, I have found it is expensive and time consuming and I don’t love the result.

missmouse101 Fri 28-Feb-20 10:42:16

Im 49, short, fat and boring. I have my roots done every 6 weeks because my hair is the last thing I'm prepared to give up on. Everyone comments how nice it is. It's well worth it to me!

inwood Fri 28-Feb-20 11:01:38

I'm embracing it. Not through chice to be honest but because I developed an allergy to hair dye. I tried loads but can't use any.

I was paying ££££££ for highlights but it just seemed pointless as it didn't cover the grey, I just had silver streaks to go along with the high / low lights.

Because I don't block dye its meant I've avoided the badger stripe at parting, the greys are the same legth as my hair if that makes sense, and my hair is long. I get lots of compliments on it, it's probably 30% grey at the moment. A blue toner shampoo helps to make them look silver not grey.

It's so liberating to not have to worry about it. Not to mention saves me a ton of money.

I'm 39 if that's relevant.

Ninkanink Fri 28-Feb-20 11:05:49

Don’t do anything! Why should you have to?

I couldn’t be doing with all the faff and expense and I fully intend to let my hair take its natural course. I do not worship at the altar of youthfulness and I have absolutely no obligation to present the world with an inauthentic version of myself.

scubaprincess Fri 28-Feb-20 12:14:48

Completely understand where you're coming from. I've got dark brown hair and have had a few greys for a number of years but recently it's become an obsession as every time I looked in a mirror I'd just see grey. The hairdresser was great and said that yes I'd got a few but they weren't bad at all. But I still went for it and for some lighter brown highlights running through my hair. I feel totally transformed and now no longer stare at my greys when I look in a mirror. The colour change isn't dramatic at all and roots aren't obvious at all but I think it adds dimension and gloss to my hair-I love it.

MrsEricBana Fri 28-Feb-20 12:24:00

L'Oreal Casting Creme Gloss is what you need, in a colour like Iced Latte (the iced colours are a bit less reddish than the other colours). £6-7 a box, redo every 6 weeks or so in your own bathroom, so easy, get loads of compliments on my hair from people who seem to spend hours & £ in the salon. It says it's semi permanent because it fades BUT it does contain peroxide so it does lighten and recolour your hair (so if you go too pale you will then get dark roots). Or of course, embrace the grey.

lazylinguist Fri 28-Feb-20 12:25:25

Why do you feel you can't ignore it?

MrsEricBana Fri 28-Feb-20 12:25:50

Ninkanink Do you pluck your eyebrows, wear makeup etc?

Ninkanink Fri 28-Feb-20 12:54:05

Yes I wear a bit of make up sometimes and keep myself fairly groomed. But I don’t routinely wear a full face of make up. Maybe two or three times a year. Can’t be bothered with that faff either, and don’t subscribe to the notion that I should be obligated to do so just because I might look ‘better’ that way. It’s an ideal that I don’t subscribe to.

I don’t wear false nails, or eyelash extensions (tried those once - I’ve got no problem with giving things a go if I fancy them - but omg never again, not worth the damage to my own natural eyelashes in order to present a version of myself that isn’t actually authentic).

I stopped wearing nail varnish at all for over two years because that was getting to be an unbearable faff as well; have recently tried gel varnish for a couple of months but that’s been put to bed as I don’t want to sacrifice my rather weak nails in order to wear embellishment.

To my mind there is a big difference (for me) between adding a little bit of definition to my face, or having a pretty colour on my nails/a bit of shimmer on my eyelids, and actually changing myself or my body through dye/extensions/augmentation.

That doesn’t mean I’m making a judgement on anyone else who chooses to do so. I just resent the implication that there’s some sort of obligation on a woman to look younger/‘better’, and I won’t play along with it.

OP sounded as if she felt there was an obligation to do something about her greys. There absolutely isn’t. I don’t think I’m out of order to make that assertion, given that society screams the opposite at us from every direction, all the time. OP will obviously decide for herself what her course of action will be, based on advice and opinions given to her in answer to her query.

user1480880826 Fri 28-Feb-20 13:43:45

You’re absolutely right @Ninkanink and I don’t normally subscribe to all of that augmentation either. I wear make up to work, and paint my toe nails in the summer but that’s about all. If there was no societal pressure I wouldn’t do either of those things. I also wouldn’t shave my body hair.

However, I am conscious that women are treated differently as they age. I’m only in my 30s so the thought of looking older due to grey hair doesn’t really appeal to me. However, I’m very aware that I shouldn’t feel that way. Maybe I need to give grey a chance. The faff of dying it really isn’t my cup of tea.

OP’s posts: |
MrsEricBana Fri 28-Feb-20 13:59:24

Good outcome OP!

Sickoffamilydrama Fri 28-Feb-20 14:13:17

Hi OP I'm early 40s so a bit older than you. I'm lucky that I'm only just getting some grey. I've been wrestling with wether I'll dye or not, and similar to you I know I will get annoyed with the faff and cost to dye so have decided not to.

You will get different reactions from people some very nice, kind people have for years absorbed all the messages about youth and beauty.

What has been interesting is when I told my mum her face was a picture she's only just stopped dyeing hers at 70, she even said to me oh but your so beautiful and grey is very ageing. Which actually made me more determined not to dye it and show my beautiful daughters that they can be lovely just as they are. Anything we do to alter ourselves should be for fun and the love of it i.e make up, fashion. It should never be an obligation.

Lamplighter234 Fri 28-Feb-20 15:12:44

I’m mid 40’s and box dye my dark hair as I’m getting more and more around temples and parting and I’m not ready to embrace the grey yet. It all depends in your own personal tolerance I suppose. It is a PITA, but I use a temporary spray on roots in between dyes which is quite low maintenance.

hamsterchump Fri 28-Feb-20 15:23:36

I'm 32 and have about 50% grey now I think (saw first pure white hairs in early 20s!) I dye the roots only with Poundland dye every 2-3 weeks because I can't tolerate seeing any grey. It seems to work and means I'm only spending about £20 a year.

user1483387154 Fri 28-Feb-20 15:32:48

I'm 42 and very lucky that I have very few white hairs however I have previously dyed my hair with box dye to red which worked even on white hairs.
atm I have decided just to go white as and when it happens

Astrabees Fri 28-Feb-20 16:02:09

I am 63 but have very few grey hairs as my natural colour is light brown. I have loads of fine highlights put in some blondish, some caramel some light brown. There is no line when they start to grow out, so I'm able to be flexible about how often they are re-done - usually every 12 weeks. if the overall look gets a bit brown or too blonde my hairdresser changes the colours a bit. I get lots of compliments. I know there is a big trend for going grey and being patronising to those of us who don't want to but to be honest i would find my sort of grey very depressing.My mother didn't go grey until well into her 80's and I don't want to either.

MrsEricBana Fri 28-Feb-20 17:44:24

I know there is a big trend for going grey and being patronising to those of us who don't want to but to be honest i would find my sort of grey very depressing
Exactly. Fine to go grey if you want to but equally not wanting to do so is fine too and rather unkind to suggest that anyone wanting to cover their greys is worshipping at the altar of youthfulness or bowing down to some sort of societal obligation to look younger and "better".

Ninkanink Fri 28-Feb-20 18:32:29

I’m sorry if you felt I was being unkind, and just to be clear I’m obviously not commenting on specific individuals when I say that - everyone is free to do or not do whatever they want in relation to style/fashion/aesthetics, and indeed to do or not do anything they want to their bodies. I make no judgement on that.

However the immense societal pressure on women to negate their perfectly normal process of ageing, and the resultant feeling of obligation to present an idealised image even if one dreads the associated treadmill of faff and expense is directly related to the cult of youthfulness. Youthfulness is prized for one reason only - sexual availability - and associated attitudes of patriarchy/misogyny are hugely oppressive and damaging to girls and women. I’m not going to mindlessly play along with that.

It’s not unkind to reject that, nor to challenge it.

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