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Fat and going out with a friend for drinks and I've got massive anxiety

(34 Posts)
delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 19:56:12

I really need help. I'm going out with a friend in Saturday night for birthday drinks.
I've put in loads of weight since being off work with anxiety and stress.
I'm slowly losing it but I'm a size 26 bottom half blush and 24 top half. I have big boobs. My stomach looks like I'm pregnant. I have a big bum.
I used to love wearing dresses and opaque tights but I now have no going out clothes and in stressing massively.
Does anyone have any advice (apart from not to go!)

Soontobe60 Tue 10-Sep-19 20:00:55

Don't back out. Go shopping and treat yourself to a new top that fits you well instead of trying to squeeze into a too small top.

Soontobe60 Tue 10-Sep-19 20:03:49

How old are you? What's your style?
www.curvissa.co.uk/products/spot-bardot-top/_/A-44E369_24?PFM_rsn=browse&PFM_ref=true&PFM_psp=own&PFM_pge=1&PFM_lpn=2

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 10-Sep-19 20:09:13

You must go! Your friend wants to see you because he/she likes you, and won't care what you're wearing.

Have you got a plain black dress already? Could you couple it with a really nice bracelet or pair of lovely earrings? Maybe wear with black tights and heeled ankle boots?

Or are you looking to buy something new?

NotStayingIn Tue 10-Sep-19 20:09:32

She honestly will not mind what you wear, she’ll just be pleased to spend time with you.

Does the location matter to you? If you are more stressed about for example being in a bar you could suggest a restaurant to her or somewhere you would be more comfortable?

Popuppippa Tue 10-Sep-19 20:11:36

Can you get your hair blow dried on Saturday, do your nails etc.?

A nice dress with opaques sounds great - you just need something that you feel comfortable in. If you already have a skirt/jeans/trousers you only need a nice flattering top like a pp suggested.

Don't cancel though, just go with the intention of enjoying yourself. Your friend wants to see you and it doesn't matter what dress size you are.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 10-Sep-19 20:12:40

Nice jacket - would work well over a silky top and good jeans, or a silky top with a jersey pencil skirt maybe?

ISmellBabies Tue 10-Sep-19 20:18:07

Go and have fun, you don't have to earn the right to have a night out by being skinny enough to go. Society indoctrinates us to feel that a woman's worth is linked to her looks. Women are not objects for other people to look at and enjoy, we're just people living our lives. We shouldn't ever feel less able to do that just because of how we look or how attractive (or otherwise) we think we are. Have a great time, how you feel matters, not how you look.

forkfun Tue 10-Sep-19 20:20:13

Have a look at Pinterest. I think this outfit looks great for a casual birthday drink. But you could work the same proportions with ankle boots instead. www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/632685447633342719/

Do your hair, do your nails, put on a fragrance you like, shoulders down, head up, big smile - you are ready! Enjoy spending time with your friend!

caz123456 Tue 10-Sep-19 20:31:20

If you're struggling for tights, try an online shop called Snag. The tights are amazing and true to size (they vary for your height and size) and are really comfy 😊

ILikeyourHairyHands Tue 10-Sep-19 20:35:34

Go! Take the great advice from other posters and get yourself out woman!

If you've been off with stress and anxiety a night out will do you the world of good, just think how rubbish you'll feel if you sit at home in your pjs.

SolitudeAtAltitude Tue 10-Sep-19 20:38:33

sounds like you have a very womanly figure, so a midi dress would probably look nice on you

Just wear what you like with pride. Thankfully these days there are a lot more prominent bigger women with style, and there's so much more choice out there now

Just go and have fun

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 20:49:38

Thank you everyone. Far more lovely than I deserve.
I'm 37. I don't know what I'd describe my style as. Erm a bit boho and vintagy?
I like the idea of the jacket but I'm not sure what with?
I need a new outfit as I have nothing. I might be able to get away with wearing some skinny jeans that I already have.
I saw this jacket earlier that has popped up again as I'm writing .
I have some leopard print pointy shoes with a kitten heel Are they fashionable? I haven't been out at night for over a year.

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 20:50:35

I wore a bardot top when I went out last time that was black lace and I really liked wearing it. Way to small now.
And yes I love snag tights too.

inthekitchensink Tue 10-Sep-19 20:58:25

Pick what you like best about your appearance & build around that? My friend is the same size & is utterly gorgeous - she dislikes her legs but has stunning arms, shoulders, neck & back so looks great in Bardot tops or sweetheart necklines.

I on the other hand have no neck & builders shoulders (peasant stock) but like my legs, so it’s boat neck tops & skinny jeans or a long sleeved dress cut above the knee

Leopard print sounds good, love those shoes with a black jumpsuit or jeans & leather jacket & silky top?

Jue01 Tue 10-Sep-19 21:04:47

The leopard print kitten heels sound fab - leopard print still very on trend. You go and enjoy, have fun !! 😊

inthekitchensink Tue 10-Sep-19 21:05:30

[ images2.drct2u.com/mobile_product_details_x2/products/yi/yi532/q02yi532706w.jpg?appversion=0&version=P-15-2019-08-15-LEO& ]

I would like this with black jeans but wouldn’t work with your leopard print shoes!

inthekitchensink Tue 10-Sep-19 21:09:56

This would work with your shoes?

[ debenhams.scene7.com/is/image/Debenhams//54510_230447050_1?wid=375&hei=375&fmt=pjpeg&qlt=90 ]

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 21:10:21

What about this? With a blazer and jeans? Would that work? What kind of Jean's? What colour?

inthekitchensink Tue 10-Sep-19 21:10:38

Oops sorry didn’t mean to post twice

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 21:13:33

I like this one too

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 21:28:49

It's just too much of choices when I don't like anything about my body.
I suppose at a push my shoulders

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 10-Sep-19 21:30:57

I like that top but it might be tricky to wear with a jacket. It would also need a strapless bra.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 10-Sep-19 21:31:35

The first. Don't like the second.

delilabell Tue 10-Sep-19 21:37:49

I cant do a strapless bra.

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