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So what would a fat 45 year old wear to the pub?

(34 Posts)
SmileAndNod Wed 23-May-18 20:52:24

Firstly for a lunch with a girlfriend who is so much better than you and secondly to a works drinks night?
I'm lost. And fat. And old sad
Thank you

statetrooperstacey Wed 23-May-18 20:54:06

How tall are you? Do you have a good cleavage?!

LegoPiecesEverywhere Wed 23-May-18 20:55:49

Do you like your legs? Your waist?

statetrooperstacey Wed 23-May-18 20:56:01

What bits do you want to disguise and what bits can you highlight?

OnTopOfSpaghetti Wed 23-May-18 20:59:48

Don't say she's so much better than you. In what ways? You are awesomethanks you might need some help to show yourself off that's all. For what its worth I am fat and old and have decided I don't give very much of a monkeys these days. I just try and buy clothes that fit me and l feel comfortable in and look half decent.
For the pub probably some slim leg jeans, a nice top and some kind of jacket, some ballet pumps, understated jewellery, spray of fave perfume, job done.

SmileAndNod Wed 23-May-18 21:12:11

I'm 5'7. Used to have cleavage but just a saggy mess now. There is not one bit about me I like? Maybe wrists? I've put on so much weight. I don't look after myself. I have no oomph to.

I have had a hell of a few years and it shows both physically and mentally. I'm no longer on meds and my PTSD has mostly calmed down. Works drinks are for my closest work mate who is leaving so I'm sad about that. Lunch is for my friend to celebrate her new job which is much better than I ever achieved

My life is rubbish and both events are just going to remind me how unhappy I am....

But I was wondering about jeans and a top as I think a dress would be too much.

Size 14/16 with flabby arms/ tum/ thighs/bum if that helps?

Lucked Wed 23-May-18 21:16:12

7/8 trousers and a blouse. I am a similar size and this is my go to.

OnTopOfSpaghetti Wed 23-May-18 21:24:12

Sorry to hear your friend is leaving, that is tough. I do understand how you feel, I've been there myself many times. I really think if you can find the right outfit you'll feel better about yourself.
I agree that you'd feel more comfortable in jeans and a top. How about a kimono jacket over a vest top?
Simply be do some nice ones:

OnTopOfSpaghetti Wed 23-May-18 21:24:54

Oops sorry here's the pic!

RickOShay Wed 23-May-18 21:25:14

flowers for you
Don’t compare.
Definitely go for the slim jeans and nice top, what about shoes or boots?
Have you got a budget?

S0dabread Wed 23-May-18 21:30:51

Agree ! One colour vest /shell top and slim fit jeans with statement necklace, feature jacket (either block colour or pattern) and midi heels matching base or jacket. Get a mani and a pedi and a good hair cut. And then enjoy !

DelphiniumBlue Wed 23-May-18 21:33:42

Size 14/16 at 5'7 is not so fat! If I Could get into a 14 at 5'4 I'd be delighted!
So get yourself a decent bra, and some high waisted dark jeans to hold everything in place, a flowy top in a colour that flatters you, heels if you are comfortable in them, or metallic/ sparkly flats if not.
A bit of eyeliner and lipstick, clean hair, sunglasses and you're done!

fuckadoodledandy Wed 23-May-18 21:34:16

Second the suggestion about skinnies, a black skimming vest and kimono style's my go to and am similar proportions...

This jacket is lovely...they've sold out of the 14-16 but think because of the cut you could size up or down:

Also...I know it's difficult but be kind to yourself, I guarantee you will be your own worst critic. Hope you have a lovely time x

Bodear Wed 23-May-18 21:35:19

Depending on budget and timescales can you invest in a new bra? Do the boob or bust method (there’s a thread running at the moment about how fab it is) and order some bras from (free delivery and returns). It’ll turn whatever you’ve got into something to be proud of and will also help define your waist. Then, yes, jeans and maybe a wrap too? Good luck.

defineme Wed 23-May-18 21:44:54

I am similar proportions and this week to the pub i have worn kimono jacket (Dorothy Perkins) and vest with relaxed skinny fit woven jeans from matalan and wedge espadrilles. Or i am loving my harem pants, loose striped shirt and same sandals.

clumsyduck Wed 23-May-18 21:49:28

Don't put yourself down op

Another vote for skinnies vest and kimono style top. That's my go to when I'm not feeling my best as I find it very flattering and glam looking

I can go from slim ish to looking 9 months pregnant in the blink of an eye . ( IBS ) not sayin you look like that just that the above clothes still make me feel nice and glam even if I don't feel it at all sad

S0dabread Wed 23-May-18 21:59:25

Oops sorry I didn't mean to be so direct and not address your troubles. Its hard when you loose your mojo. Mabey this could be the start of you getting your style updated. I remember some good advice I heard - just think about your waist up - thats how most people will see you eg sitting down or evening standing up people won't take your whole profile in unless you are being photo'ed. Sorry you have had a rough time. Make sure top is long line and jacket is waterfall / kimono but not boxy or bomber.

Patienceisvirtuous Wed 23-May-18 22:05:01

I was coming on to say skinny jeans/jeggings, vest and kimono/kaftan. Silkfred have s great selection of the latter.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo Thu 24-May-18 00:01:30

Been there, honestly. If budget permits, first up get yourself to bravissimo for a well fitting bra to rescue that cleavage. Straight fit jeans if skinnies are too scary for you. There are some nice Levi ones, that aren't too low on the waist. I'm going to go against the grain and suggest avoid flowing type tops - something with a bit of structure that isn't clingy was more flattering for me when I was feeling fat and flabby (with a pear shape). Jeans, simple top, blazer/fitted jacket and nice necklace and/or scarf.

Focus on the things you can do something about regardless of how you feel about your weight - nice shoes/ankle boots, decent bra, get your hair done/facial/eyebrows/makes up, whatever works for you the most.

thedayismine Thu 24-May-18 17:14:00

OP sorry to hear how you are

I am similar age and size and I know I can still look good.
I don't find jeans are my friend just now - I wear harems and 7/8 more often than not .
You don't mention budget but some things I have that feel good are -

Whistles Lola dress - I have three of these !
Dress up or down I always feel good in mine and they don't expose anything you prefer to hide right now !
I am looking at this -

I also like the one called Daphne

I would take a look at hush even just for ideas - I think people like us are the target market ( and the ongoing thread on here if you need advice !)
their things definitely work well for my age and size .
I have got a leopard print tee I feel good in

I find statement shoes and jewellery give it a bit more wow if base is quite plain.

Oh and Baukjen - neath jersey pants - very flattering / modern and ahhhh even comfortable !!

I find it worth spending a bit more for well cut stuff

Diamonddealeroncemore Thu 24-May-18 19:33:27

For an inexpensive floaty camisole type of top look at Roman Originals they have loads and they aren’t expensive. I’m the same size and height as you and my ‘go to’ outfit is jeans or black trousers and heels/wedges and a floaty cami top as above with a blazer over the top. I have a black lace blazer from Roman ORiginals that covers my flabby arms and also jersey blazers are good for summer. I like H&M for jersey blazers or Whistles if I’m feeling more flush.

goose1964 Thu 24-May-18 20:22:59

First off you're of as big as you think. I'm the same height as you but an 18. That's fat. I would wear a mask skirt, mine is from Boden, and a t shirt. I have jeans as they never fit my waist

MadMaryBoddington Thu 24-May-18 20:24:28

I agree you need to invest in hair/nails/shoes/handbag if you can afford to.

Some good clothes suggestions on this thread; I’ll add this dress:

SarahSiddons Thu 24-May-18 20:31:45

I don’t think your problem is your clothes. I’m in my early 40s, the same height and a size 20 and yes I know I could do with losing weight but I don’t hate myself and think I’m a saggy mess. Please try to be kinder to yourself. I don’t think you’d talk about someone else the way you’re describing yourself here.

Anyway, I’d wear smart jeans and a nice top with sleeves if that helps how you feel, ballet pumps in the summer (boots in winter). As above - a spritz of perfume always helps. Get a blow dry if time / budget allows.

RickOShay Thu 24-May-18 21:53:32

I really like the lola dresses.
op where are yougrin

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