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Hate my post baby body

(7 Posts)
skiddlywink Wed 14-Mar-18 00:29:34

I can't come to terms with my post-baby body. It's been two years and nothing has got better. Not only have all the individual parts of my body sagged and lost volume (especially my boobs, which you could literally roll up there's so little volume) but my tummy seems to start from just below them now rather than lower down. My silhouette is now matronly and definitely middle-aged. My figure was always flattered by a tight fitting top half but I can't do that now for rolls of flab that won't tone up or go away. Nothing suits me. My partner stopped wanting to have sex with me pretty much as soon as I was pregnant and has now left and I'm terrified of showing the disgusting blob that I now am to anyone. I can't imagine enjoying sex because I'll be so self-conscious, and I can't imagine anyone being turned on by me. Plus I definitely feel "looser" down there, and it feels gross. I know my body gave me my son, but that doesn't alter the fact I feel totally alien to myself and repulsed by the look and feel of my body. I feel hopeless about it. Any ideas?

VioletSnowflake Wed 14-Mar-18 12:55:02

Don’t be so hard on yourself! It’s been a huge change to your body. You are not a “disgusting blob”, you are a goddess who grew another human. No matter how you look you are not disgusting.

I felt the same after my 1st baby. I could not get to grips with my body. In the end the only thing that helped was (yawn I know) a stricter diet and moving about more. I did slimming world for the first 1.5 stone and then my own diet for the last 1.5 stone. I also tried to do more walking.

I found that when I wasn’t eating the crap and made more effort to walk I toned up naturally. I’ll always have a bit of a tummy but the rest is back to how it was, and I’m in my 40s, and haven’t seen the inside of a gym ever, my feet have never worn running shoes, it can be done without all that stuff if you don’t like it/don’t want to.

skiddlywink Thu 15-Mar-18 00:19:34

Thanks, but I've done personal training, running, eaten healthy, and everything is still soggy and saggy and horrid after TWO YEARS. No style flatters me now and as my partner has left I can't imagine anyone being turned on by the second-hand discard that I am. Guess I'm stuck with it!

CaptainHarville Thu 15-Mar-18 02:31:47

I think you sound really unhappy. Having a partner leave will have completely knocked your confidence. Have you maybe considered that because of this you're focused on your body as a problem. I wonder if you might look at doing something to help you feel happier?

My tummy is not great but I had physio following number 3 and the targeted exercises definitely helped it look better. Maybe try and find a physiotherapist who specialises in women post pregnancy.

DarthArts Thu 15-Mar-18 02:50:33


In my group of friends I don't know of one single woman whose body is the same as it was post child birth. Not one.

Even a marathon running fitness fiend still has an albeit small tummy and a load of stretch marks to boot.

Some have put on weight that can't seem to be shifted. Others have got smaller, less full breasts. Some have got bigger breasts that they could have done without.

Nearly all have some damage down below to varying degrees.

They are all beautiful.

Truth is your body won't be the same. The veneer of celebrity that bounces back as good a new after childbirth is just that - a facade (or a lot of plastic surgery).

Yes, your body is different but I'd bet good money it isn't at all unattractive.

Please don't be so hard on yourself thanks

Bellamuerte Thu 15-Mar-18 03:11:33

If you've lost all of your body fat, is it just loose skin you don't like the look of? If so then you have two options: surgery or put up with it.

I speak as someone who hates their own post baby body to the point where I've even considered suicide. Haven't done it yet because my child still needs me.

VioletSnowflake Thu 15-Mar-18 08:45:45

If you want to share, (don’t feel that you have to) what’s your bmi/height/weight? I personally was in denial and thought that the clothes shops had seriously downsized their clothes, yes really, and I am a rational person. I just couldn’t/didn’t want to see it.

Only saying this as it can work the other way too. if you are as fit and toned as you could be through the exercises etc then it’s unlikely you are as out of shape as you think. Maybe you are in denial as to how in shape you really are? flowers

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