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Tween leg hair removal - I don't think either of us are ready for this(34 Posts)
I have a year 6 daughter who is delightfully young and not at all streetwise, into fashion, boys, etc.
She has quite noticeable leg hair which I have never passed comment on.
However, she has mentioned that some children at school have said she has hairy legs. She isn’t upset by the comments and I’ve always responded in a non-committal way, ‘oh do they’ and changed the subject.
So on one hand, it’s her body, she’s fine about herself and I’m really pleased about that.
However, I think I might mention hair removal before she starts secondary school and new kids comment on her body.
There must be MNers out there who have been through this with their daughters. How did you handle it? I do want her to be a strong young woman who is more concerned with how amazing her body is and where it will take her, rather than how aesthetically pleasing it is to others. But I also don’t want her to be an obvious target of children’s unkind comments.
Any advice welcome.
For context, I have lighter finer hair than her and have been intermittently shaving my legs since age 14 or so. Mainly just in summer
My mum never helped me, so I had to.wait for her to be out to borrow her ladyshave/experiment with hair removal cream, all this subterfuge and stress.
I wish my mum had sat me down at 12 and said: these are the options, it's your choice, but I'll buy you anything you need/explain how to use it.
Let her have a choice, it is her body
Not quite the same, but my DS has mentioned a few times that he didn’t like his ‘monobrow’. Each time I kind of just listened and acknowledged it. A couple of weeks ago he announced that he was going to take out the middle with duck tape or shave it.
Turns out that there had a been a few unkind comments, so I took him to get it waxed properly. Not a massive change, but he now has 2 brows and is much happier. My DH has managed not to make any sarcastic comments (on pain of death) and DS seems pleased.
I’d wait for her to bring it up, but know what you will suggest when she does.
Dd 10 wanted to shave her legs. I showed her how to. .
Her legs, her choice.
Thank you. My mum never spoke to me about anything to do with my teenage body (not blaming her - it was a generational thing) and she didn’t go in for any kind of hair removal, so I very much went it alone too.
I suppose waiting for her to bring it up will cut the risk of it looking like I’m saying ‘your body is not acceptable as it is’. She getting hormonal and prone to taking things the wrong way, so I need to tread carefully!
My DD is 12, fair and not noticeably hairy but I've found my razor in the shower a couple of times recently so I need to have a chat about it with her. I do take her to have her eyebrows threaded each school holiday as I don't want her ruining them with tweezers!
I bought mine a cheap ladyshave and told them some people choose to remove their leg hair but it was up to them. I showed them how to use it. One does, the other isn't bothered!
DD (9) uses hair removal cream and it works brilliantly. She, like your DD, was getting some hurtful comments and I caught her trying to use my razor.
I was teased badly about my hairy legs at middle school. The hairs were thick, coarse, black and VERY noticeable. My mum expressly forbade me from shaving them (for reasons known only to her - she was otherwise very reasonable and supportive). She didn’t offer any other solution, so with a very heavy heart I just put up with the cruel comments. Eventually, I took my mums razor and shaved them secretly, dry, in my bedroom. I was in such horrendous discomfort and my legs were ripped to shreds - I had no idea how to do it.
As soon as my DD starts making noise about leg hair removal, I will be taking her to get them waxed.
Dd uses a razor from time to time when she can be bothered. Her legs, her choice but I provide her with the equipment she needs. Tried an electric shaver but it doesn't give a very smooth result. She also gets her eyebrows waxed when they start to annoy her
I won't be here for a while yet, my eldest has such blonde hair and from what I can see....she's virtually hairless.
However, my youngest...man that child is hairy. She's still got tiny tufts on her ears (yeah they never went midwife dearie).
However, DH and I have discussed what we will do when she decides she's ready for hair removal.
My personal choice would be to steer her to epilation/waxing. For a few reasons..... The younger you start, the more long term effect, the less painful it is.
Also, her skin is just like mine....and shaving results in horrific regrowth and itching to the point of bruising.
She also has sensitive skin like me, which causes chemical burns from hair removal cream.
Ultimately, it will be her choice, when and what method she uses.... but I'll give her all the options and the facts.
I can still remember secretly shaving as a teenager and crying because I hurt myself/was ashamed/scared because no one bloody talked to me about how or what was occurring (underarm hair namely).
I'm very hairy, and at 11 my leg hair was noticeable..my mother covered it in "the talk" , said it was my choice but didn't offer much support after that..I found a razor and went at it myself. Would have appreciate an offer of help from her like "it's your body and completely your choice, but if you need some help or pointers I'm here and can make sure you don't hurt yourself w the razor/give you some suitable shaving cream or oil". Just a casual offer of support should I decide I wanted to
My friends had bizarre parents that expressly forbade them from shaving their own leg hair til some random set age . Unhealthy message and unhelpful, as all of them just snuck razors and cut themselves.
I was still in primary school when I started getting teased for having hairy legs. I took matters in to my own hands and used a craft knife to shave my legs. Yup. Have a talk please. Buy lots of options and let her try them out. My mum did eventually go out and buy me some hair removal cream after she found it one day but she had no idea how awful it was. Kids can be very cruel.
Goodness, I had no idea that secret shaving was a thing. I thought it was just my mum who was prudish about anything to do with developing bodies.
For those whose daughters use hair removal cream, do they have sensitive skin? My daughter has mild eczema so I’d approach that method with caution.
And sympathies to the PP daughter who has hairy ears. Our girl is on her way to a hairy (downy) back. We DEFINITELY haven’t mentioned that to her!
I can still remember my mum showing me how to shave my legs safely! I can’t even remember if I’d asked first or she just took it upon herself.
Anyway she made it quite fun, told me i didn’t have to and kind of made out that it was something she did and if I wanted to do it when I’m older (or now) then this is how to do it.
I’d avoid the removal cream at that age.
My daughter just mentioned the comments about her leg hair again.
Me: if you like, I can show you how to get rid of leg hair, not that you need to...
Her: nah, I don’t need to, not as a kid.
Go for waxing and by the time she is older she will have hardly any hair to deal with.
Aww, next time just ask her if she wants to remove it or to let you know if she does in the future. Best response as you’re leaving the door open and then you can easily pick something up at the shops like hair removal cream.
My 8 yr old has blonde, fine but very long (3/4 inch?) hair on her legs, inherited from me. They look like glitter. My mum wouldn't let me shave until I was 16.
Today dd asked me... "mum, how do you shave your legs?", I told her that I shave with a razor and conditioner but when I just started out I used a electric shaver, like her dad's, so got cut less, though it wasn't as good. Outcome of the conversation that I will buy her one and help her do them before secondary school...and she seemed fine with that, but knows to come to me if anyone says anything and we can look to sort it sooner. Loving the fact that she can talk to me about such things whereas it was a complete no-go with my mum.
Thanks to this thread I decided to broach the subject with my 10 yo DD (dark hair on her legs which she has gone through phases of being v self conscious about, but isn't at the moment). I asked whether any of her friends shaved their legs or anything. She just laughed and said 'no! Do you think I need to?' (Gah!) I said 'No, but you might want to one day.' She said, 'Yeah, when I'm older.' And then I just closed by saying 'I want you to make sure you talk to me about it.' Now she's carrying on making pancakes.
I've hit this stage with my DD 10 who has mentioned her faintly hairy legs, but I did notice the other day they were starting to be more noticable and I did wonder to myself when is an ok time for her to start shaving so I guess thanks to this thread i'll let her as soon as she insists.
The only way you'd learn to be self confident is by getting over other people's unkind comments but getting over these comments from your own mother is much harder than getting over them if they come from random children at school. Trust me, I would know (my mother told me I had hairy knees when I was twelve-I did and still do by the way- and I never forgot it) but since meeting my DH I completely over it. Someone I love showed me for the first time in my life that my looks (while they could be very good with a bit of grooming) didn't really matter. I now only remove hair if it gets so long that I can't sleep because my legs are too hot.
Why has no-one mentioned later treatment here?
I'm really interested in this post as my dd is about to turn 6 and has super hairy legs/back just like I did. I also had a really hairy face. Eventually I disobeyed my mum when I was about 14 and shaved. I bleached my hairy face and then had years of electrolysis. I still remember the first day I wore my hair off my face because I'd managed to get rid of my sideburns. When I was 29 I paid £3k to have my lower back, bottom and whole legs lasered and I've never looked back. My life has been totally transformed (although I'm probably about £10k poorer in total).My summers are not dictated by my waxing cycle for a start. I have a few stray hairs that have grown back, but seriously I shave about 3 times a year to get rid of those when we are going on holiday. The rest of the time I don't even think about it- nude tights, shirts, swimming costumes, I have so little hair now that unless you were and elf standing 10cms from my legs you wouldn't notice.
I'm not sure how old you have to be to have laser, I'd guess 14, but I will happily be paying for it as soon as my daughter is old enough and assuming she wants it. My mum was also afflicted with hairy legs. She was so convinced by my treatment that she had hers done at 58 and hasn't looked back either. It will change your daughters life.
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