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Self esteem at absolute rock bottom :(

(8 Posts)
MandaraMandate Thu 05-Oct-17 07:01:50

Just had a baby, he is six weeks old. I feel like such shit. I look really really awful as am so tired and I am not my usual shape. I really need help making myself feel and look better. I'm getting quite low, I know it's not all about looks but I think that will help.

Hair - I don't know how to describe it, it's almost like fluffy IYSWIM. I don't know how to make it look not awful. I don't have any time to make it look nice so I guess I just need to find a product that will make it less weird.

Skin - sallow and awful

Body - I still fit into my old clothes but I have a tummy now and lots of cellulite. I used to have a completely flat stomach, largeish (for my shape) thighs and very small boobs.

I don't know what to wear to look not completely shit and to cover up my big tummy without wearing sack like stuff. Because of my no boob situation I can easily look like a boy. Have a bunch of other DC so need to be easy clothes.

Please help. sad

FourEyesGood Thu 05-Oct-17 07:26:01

I have no style advice, but be kind to yourself - you had a baby SIX WEEKS ago! That's no time at all! Of course you've got a tummy at the moment.

If you can find the time and money, go to the hairdresser. Having your hair done will make you feel so much better. You could ask him/her about the best products to use too.


silkpyjamasallday Thu 05-Oct-17 07:38:00

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit crap OP, it is really hard in the early weeks to feel like yourself again flowers

Hair - I found my hair was very dry and fluffy as you describe for a few months, I found using a hair oil helped a lot. I use Show Beauty hair oil but it is expensive and I reckon cheaper brands will be just as good, I just really loved the bottle! If you like going to the hairdresser then you could have a restyle and ask them for the best products, but I haven't been to a hairdresser since my teens as they always fuck up with my curly hair.

Skin - this may well be due to lack of sleep, but a routine of cleansing and moisturising in the evening may help. Also make sure you are taking a multi vitamin supplement. Your hormones will still be all over the place, DD and I often had matching spots in the first 2 months.

Body/clothes - What sort of things did you wear before you had your DC? You have only given birth 6 weeks ago so be kind to yourself, it took your body nine months to make a baby and will take nine months to get back to normal. As it's winter at least it will be easy to cover up any body parts you're not feeling great about. Are you breast or formula feeding? I lived in boyfriend jeans or joggers with a plain shirt and machine washable big cardigan for the first few months. Or a stretchy skirt with tights and a big jumper. Either outfit worn with boots or trainers or birkenstocks. It may not be very stylish but it is practical and comfy for with a newborn. Could you treat yourself to a new pair of boots or trainers as a little pick me up?

Peppermeant Thu 05-Oct-17 07:49:45

I personally find 6 weeks pp is THE WORST time in terms of how you feel about yourself. Your body is still recovering and you're sleep deprived and you feel like you should be bouncing back but obviously you still have a very young baby and you've only just given birth!

If you're back into your old clothes size-wise, you're doing better than I usually do. I'd go for slouchy knits (hush, mint velvet, baukjen, h&m etc depending on budget) and skinny jeans. Easy and looks good imo.

Face-wise, I'm always spotty post-partum, so if you're not, then that's a bonus in my book. I always use mascara and blush and a bit of foundation before leaving the house and it makes me feel better.

Hair is always shite after having a baby. Always. I lose mine from the temples and end up with a frizz halo for ages. Is it thin or thick?

Deathraystare Fri 06-Oct-17 10:03:14

Sorting your hair out will give you a great boost. Can you go to the hairdressers and ask their advice?

How about some face packs? Primark sell some cheap ones and they are fine. You can also get hair packs as well. As someone else said hair oil might be a good idea.

Sequence Fri 06-Oct-17 10:28:08

Good nutrition will be good for skin and hair. Maybe a vitamin and mineral supplement? If you're wanting to play down your waistline, try drawing attention elsewhere with an interesting neckline or accessories. But don't be too hard on yourself in these early days!

Pansiesandredrosesandmarigolds Fri 06-Oct-17 10:29:26

Everyone looks shit six weeks after the birth. It'll get better.

Autumnleaves7 Fri 06-Oct-17 11:02:51

i'd say tiredness always emphasises the low self esteem feelings - you're knackered, you've been through a lot - prioritize getting sleep, and eating quick, nourishing food (smoked salmon on toast, avocado on toast, soups).

i don't think 6 weeks pp is a style and beauty issue, it's a sleep and looking after yourself one!

I'm a triangle too - smaller on top and all goes wrong somewhere south of my navel to my knees smile I find knit dresses and tunics useful - but be kind to yourself. You're got a lovely baby! Thiiiiings will get better.

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