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Help please- "evening dress required"

(30 Posts)
fudgesmummy Mon 25-Sep-17 16:08:40

Hi all.


We have been invited by our neighbours to a 50th birthday party at their house. The invite has specified "evening dress required" I am having a major breakdown as to what to wear, I battle with depression, anxiety and a crippling self-loathing and hate being in social situations so would have been in a panic about the invite anyway but this request has tipped me over the edge. sad

I have recently lost 2 stone but am still very, very overweight. I wear a size 24 top and 22 bottom, have a very large belly and revolting bingo wings so anything sleeveless/tight or short sleeved is out of the question. And I am only 5ft 2 tall, with very short, fat legs. God, I sound like a right catch don't I sad

I rarely wear anything but black and it would have to be long, but because I'm so short it would no doubt be too long so would have to be suitable to take up.

Cost isn't really a issue, but the cheeper the better as I doubt I will have an occasion to wear it again, and we will have to pay to hire a dinner jacket for Dh

We received the invite today and the party is on 21st October, so there isn't much time.

What am I going to do?

IreneDunne Mon 25-Sep-17 20:08:28

First question: do you actually want to go? If you'd rather not it would be fine to have a prior engagement?

Second: what colours do you like to wear?

Maverick66 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:08:52

And breathe.............

It will be ok.
You have 3 and a half weeks.

I suggest a bit of pampering.
First things first Hair and eyebrows, book an appointment and get them both sorted
i.e. Colour and shape.
Make up.
Take a deep breath.
Go to Debenhams or another store of your choosing,on a mid week morning when things aren't busy and get your foundation etc sorted. I know this takes a lot of courage, but trust me, my daughter is a beautician and you are exactly the type of client she gets the most job satisfaction from helping.

Then go on a site called Just last Season and check out their evening wear or House of Fraser or Jacques Vert.

Break everything down into chunks.
Make a list and tick each thing off.
It is only one night. If you get there and you aren't comfortable then make your excuses and leave early.

I have been where you are. I have lost 4 stone over a year with WW whilst I still have a way to go I feel a lot better about myself.

Best of luck and remember deep breaths, big smiles. flowerscakebrew

IreneDunne Mon 25-Sep-17 20:08:58

Sorry, I meant other than black/as well as black.

blueskyinmarch Mon 25-Sep-17 20:14:00

What about a pull on style black velvet skirt with a lovely jewel coloured/sparkly top? A midi length one would probably be long on you.

Dontknowwhattodonowok Mon 25-Sep-17 20:21:32

@maverick66 gosh you even calmed me down with that message. Hope the OP finds that helpful- it’s literally the exact same thing I would have said. I always think someone well turned out with good hair, makeup, nails and skin etc could be wearing a black bin liner for all I care.

Sometimes we put too much emphasis on what people wear when actually a chic, simple and most importantly COMFORTABLE outfit with your hair, nails and makeup looking beautiful is more than enough.

Laska5772 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:22:59

How about this?

Also try ASOS?

ringthelandline Mon 25-Sep-17 20:27:13

I went to a Black tie affair at the weekend. I had plenty of time for people watching due to some very long speeches and the best dressed women were all wearing very simple dresses.
IMO the over ornate, flesh showing frocks looked a bit tacky. One woman was all in black but it was made up of tiny pleats, with gorgeous shoes and red lips and she looked stunning. I'd guess a size 16 and about 55 .

Laska5772 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:30:07

or this? I like the first one better though

Maverick66 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:32:07

Thanks don'tknow

I just hope op can get some inspiration from it smile

travailtotravel Mon 25-Sep-17 20:37:21

I'm a bit lumpy and have just bought a lady vintage Estella dress. It's so flattering! Jewelled pumps and some bling sorts it for evening. But it's a lovely dress just for every day x

ringthelandline Mon 25-Sep-17 20:39:46

This is pretty, but spendy

ringthelandline Mon 25-Sep-17 20:41:38

Or this with some pretty shoes?

Laska5772 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:44:42

These would all dress up ncely with a bit of sparkly jewellery

chiffon maxi skirt
lace sleeve tunic
cold shoulder tunic

maxi dress with sleeves

and selection of evening dresses here

Laska5772 Mon 25-Sep-17 20:46:39

chiffon skirt again in black

Maverick66 Mon 25-Sep-17 21:13:48

Some great suggestions lasts

Laska5772 Tue 26-Sep-17 20:56:27


LittleWitch Tue 26-Sep-17 21:06:12

Personal shopper. I needed a gown for an awards do and did as recommended upthread - went to Debenhams on a midweek afternoon. Got pounced on by the occasionwear supervisor woman who summoned the personal shopper. They tucked me into the changing room and half an hour later I was out the door carrying the perfect dress at the right price.

Yewtown Wed 27-Sep-17 08:41:14

How about this.
sparkly statement necklace and clutch.

PETRONELLAS Wed 27-Sep-17 09:03:15

I also think your husband could get a nice black shirt with smart trousers rather than the faff of a dj...

Mosaic123 Wed 27-Sep-17 10:34:28

Are you sure your husband needs to wear a dinner jacket? That seems quite unusual in a private house. Perhaps they just meant men's evening type clothes rather than actual dinner jackets?

Dowser Wed 27-Sep-17 11:35:47

That curvissa one is lovely

Dowser Wed 27-Sep-17 11:38:31

This is nice

With a pashmina or silvery shrug type evening top

fudgesmummy Wed 27-Sep-17 21:58:20

Hi all, Thank you so much for your replies, it is very much appreciated smile

Please don't be offended if I sound at all negative in my replies (I'm looking at you Dh) I am really very grateful for your input.

IreneDunne- No, I don't have to go but I find it so hard to make (and keep) friends that it would almost be worse if I didn't iyswim?

Maverick66- I have never worn makeup or had anything done to my eyebrows in my life. My hair is cut short and dyed brown to cover the grey and I bite my nails so nothing to paint. "You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear" has always been my thoughts sad

PETRONELLAS and Mosaic123- Yes, I totally agree. The neighbours in question are a professional couple and are much better off that we are. He was the town mayor a couple of years ago so formal events are their thing.

Thanks for the links for outfits, I will have a good look at them all this weekend x

Mosaic123 Thu 28-Sep-17 09:49:17

I bet you will have a great time. Why not decide to go but have an excuse ready if you don't feel that you can last the evening out.

You could say that you feel like you're coming down with a cold for example.

That's way you can feel that you are in control.

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