Advanced search

Whether you’re a beauty novice or a confirmed fashionista, this topic is for consulting Mumsnetters on all things style-related. Plus, check out our Swears By page for the inside track on the next Mumsnet must-have.

Hot and fat and nothing to wear :-(

(28 Posts)
SmileAndNod Thu 11-May-17 17:08:18

I literally need to throw out half of my wardrobe. I cannot squeeze myself into anything at all. I have gone from a size 8/10 to a 16 in two years and the weight is still going on. I cannot control it, I cannot control me, and I hate it. I have no power to give up food. Or wine. Or time to exercise. Or head space to do much at all. I've always felt fat even when I was 9st. It's making me so sad.

It's come to a head tonight as we have a dress down day at work tomorrow. Nothing looks good or right. I have a few winter things that just about fit but sunmer clothes aren't fitting. What can a size 16 person wear? I realise it's not going to help tonight but I can't spend the whole summer sweltering and hating myself 😢

Gbean Thu 11-May-17 17:09:29

Have you thought about joining Slimming World or similar? I've lost almost 2 stone since February and have done zero exercise, and drink gin every week gin

applespearsbears Thu 11-May-17 17:12:04

What kind of budget do you have? I've just picked a really nice linen t short from lidl £4 which is lovely and cooling in the summer. Would look nice over some linen trousers or cotton skirt, dressed up with a pair of sunnies and sandals.

applespearsbears Thu 11-May-17 17:12:23

T shirt!

CantChoose Thu 11-May-17 17:50:40

Depends on your shape but I wear a lot if maxi dresses in the summer as I suit clothes fitted under the bust and the looser lower half hides my porky tum! I stick to block colours as I worry prints might look a bit naf.

CantChoose Thu 11-May-17 17:51:58

I also wear loose fit sheer blouses with vest tops underneath. The fabric provides cover but not too much warmth!

QueenMortifauxcado Thu 11-May-17 17:59:42

I found that styles that looked good at size 8/10 did nothing for me at 14/16 and vice versa, so if there are styles you've wanted to wear but they didn't suit you, give them a go now, they just might work smile

crazycatgal Thu 11-May-17 18:07:32

I sympathize with you OP, I've put on lots of weight because of the medication I've been on and have gone from an 8 to a 16 and feel awful

Have you looked at wide leg trousers? Have a look at the Topshop Plisse trousers, they're thin and floaty and good for summer.

RedSandYellowSand Thu 11-May-17 18:14:53

@CantChoose that's exactly the sort of think I'm after buying when I hit the shops this summer (6 weeks til I can actually try clothes on, rather than guess, and have 3 days to try on at home and return. I HATE shopping here). Where do you get your tops from?

SmileAndNod Thu 11-May-17 20:34:48

So I have fat arms so I like to hide those, my tummy bottom and thighs are also huge. Arse especially. Not sure I have a style. Definitely more classic than fashionable I'd say. I'm 44 and tend to play it safe. Quite boring really.

How would slimming world fit in with family cooking? I'm not sure im eating much more than I used to, though I am definitely drinking more and I'm on ADs, though I'm trying to get off them.

I hate myself and feeling quite down about tomorrow being surrounded by young stylish things.

wirrinboffin Thu 11-May-17 20:38:16

Depends on your shape - A line and maxi dresses work - size 20 BTW, and manage just fine! Would love to be a size 16!! Check out eBay if you don't have a big budget, or are determined to quickly shift it.

crazycatgal Thu 11-May-17 21:06:47

What ADs are you on? I was on sertraline (just come off them) and kept putting on weight no matter what I ate.

Tidypidy Thu 11-May-17 21:14:29

I'm size 16/18 and find a more fitted pair of trousers is more flattering than wide leg as I can end up looking very wide! A loose open shirt over a vest can be very comfy and cool when the weather heats up.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Thu 11-May-17 21:24:55

I think firstly try and silence your inner critic. Nothing is going to look good in the mirror when you're telling yourself you're fat and hate every part of your body. Some of that may be your depression making you feel so negative sad

Size 16 is quite an average size these days. Concentrate on what you do like about yourself, style your hair nicely for tomorrow, wear perfume and a smile. You'll be fine. flowers

TrulyFubar Thu 11-May-17 21:43:29

Slimming World isn't going to work by tomorrow so I suggest shopping at Yours Clothing or Simply Be for nice clothes that fit you NOW. At a size 16 you're not even Plus Size (compared to me!) and I can recommend both of those places for fun, trendy and stylish clothing. Their ranges start at a size 12/14 so it's not as if you're having to buy from The Fat Shop at all! They have some lovely summery things out at the moment too.

DianaT1969 Thu 11-May-17 23:55:11

You're not alone. I bought 2 plain shirt dresses in uniqglo today for the same reason. Shapeless in a COS way, but still, quality fabric and v neck. Khaki and terracotta. Will be easy to wear to work with any sandals as it has short sleeves to the elbow and is knee length. Belted or not belted.
Maybe look for similar plain 'sacks' that you feel cool and covered in, but can accessorise with nice footwear and bags.
Also, I recommend reading Marissa Peer's kick up the arse book 'You Can Be Thin'. About £4 on Amazon kindle. Helps the mind focus on not sabotaging life with weight gain.
Sending hugs to you for a good day tomorrow flowers

Want2beme Fri 12-May-17 00:07:48

Sorry you're feeling down your size, but you're not fat. I'm a size 14/16 and am not fat either. Try straight jeans/trousers, loosish fitting tops. Look at Mango Violeta, it might suit your style.

SmileAndNod Fri 12-May-17 01:23:51

Thank you. Yes I'm on sertraline crazycatgirl and I feel as though I'm expanding every day.

I would love to get back into my lovely clothes but I think I'm fooling myself - I just don't have the oomph to shift the weight.

While I Can't sleep through worrying about the morning I'm going to check out those links thank you flowers

hiccupgirl Fri 12-May-17 07:24:50

At size 16 you are not fat or need to go to places like Yours or Simple Be unless you really like their clothes. You can shop in pretty much every high street store except for maybe Topshop.

I'm a 16-18 and yes, not slim but I don't see myself as fat. But I have been bigger so while some days I'd like to get down to a 12/14, on the other hand, I'm generally happy to be maintaining at this size and I love the extra clothes choice.

So much of this is where your head is, rather than your actual size. If you can, try lots of different clothes on and be nice to yourself. I can promise you I don't look a hot, sweaty mess at this size, and you don't either.

SmileAndNod Fri 12-May-17 07:30:30

I do though. I'm waking every night in hot sweats with drenched hair. I do have a cold and I'm on so that isn't helping things I know.

Currently sat in my pyjamas wondering if they count as dress down. Only bloody things that fit. And even they're shrinking.

I'm spending this evening trawling ebay looking for anything that will fit basically.

How expensive is slimming world? I can't make a weekly meeting and I can't afford to buy fresh fruit and fish constantly.

DianaT1969 Fri 12-May-17 12:51:31

What kind of work and shifts are you doing to take up so much time? Sounds like you need a break. Are you entitled to any holiday at the moment? A week off to recharge your batteries and catch up on sleep might make you feel loads better.
Try Lidl for cheaper healthy food and only buy frozen veg, fish, berries as it saves waste and works out cheaper. Turkey is a good meat for lifting your mood, tinned oily fish, avocado, fozen spinach etc.
Try to get time off first though.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 12-May-17 13:07:50

Regarding the issues with eating, can I encourage you to come and join us on the NoS diet? We have a thread running and are all very supportive and friendly. No snacks, sweets or seconds except for days beginning with S ie weekends and special days like weekends. So basically 3 plates/meals a day. Its more a way of learning to eat with moderation rather than a diet, in fact its very anti diet, its all about forming habits that you can genuinely stick with for life. It has helped me end years of yoyo dieting and an unhealthy relationship with food. Weight loss has been slow for me but the benefits to my mindset have been amazing.
Good lucksmile

hiccupgirl Fri 12-May-17 13:15:38

Have you got a Sainsburys/Asda/Tescos nearby that has a good clothes section. I find they're all good for cheap basics and Sainsburys and Asdas both size big. I tend to wear jeans and tops - sometimes looser but I've recently been wearing slightly more fitted ones that do show off my waist. I'm a pear shape though, with pretty much all my weight on my thighs and bottom so this might not work for you.

And I agree with trying a No diet, change of eating habits, be easy on yourself approach. Beating yourself up is only going to make you snack more and put more weight on.

poppym12 Fri 12-May-17 14:11:17

I suggest you have a look on asos. A multitude of styles, brands and prices. They also do a 'curve' range but that's not necessary at size 16 as that's a standard size in most clothing.

SmileAndNod Fri 12-May-17 16:48:33

I'm only doing normal working patterns but obviously the rest of the time is taken up with looking after three small people and the house and all that entails. DHs work and hours are unpredictable so I can't commit to anything weekly really.

It will be half term soon so that will be a break (well with the children).

I'm just so tired and lack oomph at the minute. I have tried to get off sertraline but it's making me dizzy and giving me brain jolts. And I just can't function like that.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: