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Help, funeral tomorrow, nothing to wear and no money

(24 Posts)
Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 11:36:03

Oh god, am sat here panicking with all my clothes strewn around me blush

It's MiLs funeral and I have to give a reading, but also wrangle DS as FiL and DH are adamant that he must be there. So that rules out what I wore to the last funeral I attended as it was a skirt that doesn't allow for easy toddler chasing!

All my tops are bright colours or striped and I can't find one to go with anything appropriate I have for the bottom half (which is a choice of navy cropped chinos, one of two tweed skirts or black jeans). I have no money or time to shop so I have to find something. It's pathetic but I'm in tears about this like a twat, it's just the last straw.

It doesn't have to be all black but I feel I need to be relatively sober and I don't know what to do. Help blush

Notname Thu 11-May-17 11:39:45

Could you borrow a black/dark top from a friend? If so you could wear that with a tweed skirt? I'd prob opt for that rather than cropped chinos or jeans. What would you have worn with the skirt that isn't toddler friendly?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g Thu 11-May-17 11:39:49

I'm very sorry for your loss, Spudlet. This sounds like displacement activity to me, entirely understandable.

Have you got time today to nip to Primark/Sainsbury's/Asda/somewhere else very cheap and buy a totally plain, simple t-shirt or top (white, navy, whatever)?

retainertrainer Thu 11-May-17 11:43:29

Why isn't it toddler friendly? Too tight? Too short?

If you can't borrow something from a friend then it sounds like that's your only option.

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 11:44:19

It's the skirt that's not toddler friendly, it's a black jersey pencil skirt that rides up if I run around and I suspect I will be running around after him. I don't want to be yanking my skirt down or flashing the vicar. All my old work clothes are a bit like that, or they're too casual, or far too corporate (pinstripes etc).

No, no one I could borrow anything off unfortunately. I might be able to get something in tesco but we're a bit in the middle of nowhere here so it's a smaller branch and the selection isn't great (as in, they might not have anything plain, it's all patterns and things).

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 11-May-17 11:44:57

Sorry for your loss OP flowers

I've worn skirts to several funerals of family members whilst having toddlers to run around after. Ok it's a little bit harder but not impossible, especially if that's your only option. Skirt and flat shoes is easier than trousers and high heels grin

Can you stretch to a few pounds to get a plain white or dark coloured top to go with your skirt from Primark/ supermarket/ charity shop? DD weed on me while we were out and I was able to pick up a nice enough navy and white top for £2.50 in Primark, which works for smart or casual. Alternatively do you have a friend of a similar size who could lend you something for the day? What does DH think you should wear? Does he have an opinion on it? You could wear your skirt whilst doing the reading (as you'll be more visible then) and change into trousers for the wake, I'm sure people will understand. I am assuming DH will do the toddler wrangling whilst you are doing the reading?

PaperdollCartoon Thu 11-May-17 11:45:50

Could you get a cheap Tesco blazer? A dark blazer smartens up anything

retainertrainer Thu 11-May-17 11:47:22

If you can't get to Tesco then go with the skirt,I can't see that you've got any other option. Wear some thick black tights underneath.

All the best tomorrow.

Notname Thu 11-May-17 11:47:54

If you were planning to wear the jersey skirt perhaps the top that you were going to wear with it would go with one of your other skirts? To be honest if you have to wear something a bit too 'corporate' I don't think anyone would notice or mind. Prob better that than under dressed.

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 11-May-17 11:48:20

Sorry, cross posted with your 2nd post. I wouldn't worry too much about looking 'corporate' if you have work clothes - most men at funerals wear suits after all. If you think a dark suit looks too sombre, then liven it up with one of your brighter tops - you'll still be in mostly dark colours. Even small branches of supermarkets round here have basic long sleeved jersey tops in black/ white/ navy so you might find something in your local tesco.

EauPea Thu 11-May-17 11:52:08

Where are you Spudlet North, Midlands, South? Maybe someone on here may be able to lend you something.
Condolences to you flowers , my lovely MIL died at the weekend. I have put on tons of weight so nothing fits.

I am in Southwest. If you are down this way pm me and I can see if I have anything suitable.

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 11:53:19

Ok. Ok. Taking deep breaths, have dug into my bag of work clothes. So. I found this dress.

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 11:58:34

The cardigan needs ironing and would need tights.

retainertrainer Thu 11-May-17 11:59:12

That's pretty perfect. Have you got more formal shoes?

anotherdayanothersquabble Thu 11-May-17 11:59:25

Perfect, in fact it looks beautiful.

I hope the reading goes well. Don't worry about your son running around. The service is primarily for your MIL who I am sure would appreciate his running around and for your DH and FIL who want him there.

Maudlinmaud Thu 11-May-17 12:01:11

Spudlet that dress looks fine and respectable. Sorry for your loss flowers

LtGreggs Thu 11-May-17 12:01:40

I think that is perfect - neat, elegant, sober and with a touch of Spring. Plus looks workable for toddler chasing.

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 12:03:53

Or this, although this is the skirt that rides up.

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 12:05:12

Oh, cross posted. Thank you!

Unfortunately my smarter shoes all have heels, I'll have to see if I have a pair I could run in if necessary. I'm out of practice. I usually wear wellies or trainers these days blush

GinnyBaker Thu 11-May-17 12:10:00

the dress looks perfect, don't wear the skirt if it rides up, when I was desperate for black shoes for a funeral recently I got a pair of black pumps in asda for £8, maybe tesco might have something similar?

Spudlet Thu 11-May-17 12:10:54

I reckon I could pick up speed in these shoes if needed, and MiL would appreciate the pearls. She was a very classic sort of lady. The picture on the front of the order of service is her in her walking rucksack (she loved walking) and a blazer, with shoulder pads grin

Bloody hell, thank you for talking me down blush

retainertrainer Thu 11-May-17 13:44:10

That looks great now,panic over.

Spudlet Sat 13-May-17 08:46:16

Just wanted to pop back and say thank you... that dress was ideal. DS was really good and sat quietly through the service up until the prayers, then I had to take the walk of shame, but we came back in for the end, and then he pottered around with a kind friend of DMiL on the far side of the cemetery during the interment. Then he fell asleep in the sling on me during the wake. It was about as good a day as you can expect at one of these things, and I felt appropriate and comfortable, and able to chase the boy around as necessary. So thank you for talking me down all. wine and cake for all!

Coconutty Sat 13-May-17 08:54:25

I'm glad it went well, you looked lovely flowers

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