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Terrible insult - I am devastated

(109 Posts)
mousymary Mon 24-Apr-17 11:41:58

Was out yesterday and a woman stopped me and asked if I was Sam's mum. No, I reply, not Sam's mum. She goes on to say I am spitting image of her daughter's friend's mother, and so I ask if she is confusing me with another woman whose mum I might be, and, if so, how old is her daughter and friend.

Forty !!!!! I actually exclaimed "Forty! You think I could have a forty-year-old daughter!!" And I walked off saying I was going home to soak in a bath of Oil of Olay.

I am so upset. I am 52, but to have a 40-year-old dd... well, that would make me 56 at absolute best but in all probability... mid 60s.

Now, I don't take that much care of my appearance, but now I'm staring in the mirror thinking perhaps I do look old for my age. I don't wear "old lady" clothes, nor do I have grey hair. Is there anywhere that does a Ten Years Younger service? I feel really down about this.

Notthecarwashagain Mon 24-Apr-17 11:45:01

Maybe Sam's mum looks very young for her age? flowers

iwantavuvezela Mon 24-Apr-17 11:46:33

Sorry Op - it is really annoying isn't it.

I was with a friend of mine recently (he is in his mid forties) with his new baby boy ... walking together, and someone asked if I was the grandmother! Like you that would make me at least 20 years older than my friend I was with, granted I am a bit older .... anyway we really laughed about it ...... and once I did that, I found that it just dissipated ...

don't hold onto it, its just an opinon, and we have all at times got something wrong about someone .....

mousymary Mon 24-Apr-17 11:47:27

It's silly really to be so affected, but there I was, minding my own business, and someone out of the blue delivers this blow! The thing is after I had said about being old enough for 40-year-old dd, she persisted, still saying I looked just like her.

nancy75 Mon 24-Apr-17 11:49:38

People ask if my mum is my sister (and mean it) my mum does look young but it must also mean I look pretty bloody oldangry

MackerelOfFact Mon 24-Apr-17 11:55:27

spitting image of her daughter's friend's mother

So presumably she herself is old enough to have a 40-year-old (or thereabouts) daughter, so you probably insulted her back by implying this is outrageously old. grin

burnishedsilver Mon 24-Apr-17 11:59:57

You brought this on yourself. Instead of asking how old the daughter and friend were you could have just assumed it was a compliment and left it at that. Maybe the woman you look just like is beautiful, elegant and fabulously stylish.

mousymary Mon 24-Apr-17 12:07:08

Yes, I probably did insult her back! But she (looked!) late sixties, I would say and therefore she presumed I must be around the same age.

Beautiful, elegant, and fabulously stylish... yep, that's me hmm

BuzzKillington Mon 24-Apr-17 12:10:02

I'd have been gutted too; nobody wants to be told they look older.

floraeasy Mon 24-Apr-17 12:10:08

Could she possibly have meant the MUM was 40 and the daughter was younger? Making you look forty?

Morphene Mon 24-Apr-17 12:11:06

Why oh why are women insulted by being though of as older than they are?

Stop buying into misogyny.

Youth (or the appearance thereof) is not more important than your abilities, intellect and wisdom. Life experience is of more value than pert tits. If you think this isn't true then you have been watching to many adverts made by people who want nothing from you but your cash and any remaining self-esteem you may have hung onto.

FreakinScaryCaaw Mon 24-Apr-17 12:13:42

I know that lady who you bumped into and she's senile. Shouldn't be out on her own. wink

Fishfingersandwich9 Mon 24-Apr-17 12:13:45

Well said Morphene!

BarneyRumbleton Mon 24-Apr-17 12:15:16

There was a lad who worked in little Tescos, he'd be about 20. Always really friendly. I was all like, 'yeah, I'm down with the kids, with my cool mate.'
One day he plucked up the courage to ask me if I had a daughter. I said no, two sons but no daughter, why?
"You look just like my mate's girlfriend. I wondered if you were her mum."

My friends were killing themselves laughing when I told them.
I wouldn't worry OP. They are just crap at judging ages.

(I am still young and beautiful and not at all old enough to be his mate's girlfriend's mum)

mousymary Mon 24-Apr-17 12:15:59

I disagree. I am quite happy and secure in my intellect and wisdom (not my abilities so much!) but I still don't want to look ten years older than I am. And neither would any man, I'm sure. I don't want to look 25, just not 65!

murphys Mon 24-Apr-17 12:16:00

Well I was asked if I was a pensioner when I went to the fruit and veg shop, so she knew whether to give me the pensioners discount. So I just said back that if I look like a pensioner she should go ahead and give me the discount.

She didn't.

I am 46.

I was a little upset at the thought of her thinking I was 60 though........

user1491572121 Mon 24-Apr-17 12:17:41

My friend got offered the pensioner's special rate at the hairdressers too! She's 47 and looks about 40! She really does...she's very attractive...some people are really bad at estimating age OP.

mousymary Mon 24-Apr-17 12:17:51

Well, murphy, if there's money in it I'll go for being 60! Hmmph, must remember this when I next go to a stately home. Maybe there's an upside to looking old for one's age.

millifiori Mon 24-Apr-17 12:18:54

Hah mousymary grin. My DC were helping me pack the shopping at a supermarket checkout once and the cashier said, 'Aren't they gorgeous, helpful boys.' 'Yes,' I beamed. 'So good of you to help your granny out like this,' she said. shock I was a bit miserable at the time, but now I think it's funny.

MumBod Mon 24-Apr-17 12:19:19

People often mistake me and my sister for twins.

She's a decade older than me.

So that's nice.

hmcAsWas Mon 24-Apr-17 12:21:41

I was asked if I had all my own teeth. I was in my early 20's at the time (with good oral health). It was some muppet doing an oral health survey on the street - but you would think he would realise it was a bit off to put that question to a twenty something

In my early thirties an optician when listening to some of my symptoms said perhaps I had dry eyes - as this comes on with age

Am 48 now, probably look 70!

LaGattaNera Mon 24-Apr-17 12:22:54

I'm in my 40s, am told I look late 30s but woman at independent cinema box office asking if I wanted a senior ticket. I was very upset indeed. I asked her if she thought I was over 60 and she was not very nice back to me. Told her if she genuinely thinks that, to ask if the ticket is a concession as more polite but she knew before I asking I was not a senior and was a cow.

claraschu Mon 24-Apr-17 12:23:50

She might have just been thinking you look very similar and not thinking about age at all, so a bit unaware, but not really meaning to imply you look older than you are, perhaps?

I regularly get asked who is older, me or my sister: she is 61 and I am 50 sad.

MyShinyThing Mon 24-Apr-17 12:24:09

My friend & I were recently asked if we were mother & daughter. We didn't ask for further clarification! Clearly I'm the daughter. We chose to believe that the woman thought one of us must be a teenager. We were both still 29 at the time!

The women was trying to get us to have a photo taken together so she could sell it to us, needless to say she didn't make the sale!

I feel for you OP, it does sting a bit doesn't it!

BeMorePanda Mon 24-Apr-17 12:24:13

Travelling in Turkey many moons ago I got asked if I was my friends grandmother!! I was 27. Friend about 22.
Apparently it was because I hennaed my hair which old ladies do in Turkey smile

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