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Nude swimsuit - I can't find one!

(38 Posts)
TyrannosaurusBex Sat 22-Apr-17 09:34:54

I've been wanting a nude-coloured swimsuit (I'm fair but tan pretty easily) for a couple of years, and now apparently the fashion gods are smiling upon me and they're a thing. Trouble is, there are none in the shops and the only ones I've seen online are around £300 ( my budget's around £100) or almost entirely arseless! Have any of you style and beauty mavens spotted this rare beast, the nude swimsuit that features bum coverage?

Bigbiscuits Sat 22-Apr-17 09:39:42

you do realise that from a distance you will look naked

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince Sat 22-Apr-17 09:41:00

I think Cos have something. Not 100% sure

Justfred Sat 22-Apr-17 09:48:01

m.asos.com/zulu-and-zephyr/zulu-and-zephyr-textured-swimsuit/prd/7564824?iid=7564824&clr=Nude&SearchQuery=&cid=10118&pgesize=4&pge=0&totalstyles=4&gridsize=2&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=1

I think you'd need to be young and slim and perky boobed for this!

BikeRunSki Sat 22-Apr-17 09:49:50

Why?

<old duffer alert>

pinkmagic1 Sat 22-Apr-17 09:51:32

You will look starkers from a distance!

LettuceMash Sat 22-Apr-17 09:52:48

grin

CoolCarrie Sat 22-Apr-17 10:04:19

Maybe that's the idea!

Euphemia Sat 22-Apr-17 11:52:39

Oooh no, especially when it got wet! shock

ScarlettDarling Sat 22-Apr-17 11:59:39

I've never seen a nude swimsuit! Won't you just look......nude? shock

AuntieStella Sat 22-Apr-17 12:06:17

You probably won't look nude, because the chances of finding one that matches your skin tone - which may change anyhow over the season if yo tan - are fairly remote.

There are less expensive ones online

www.missguided.co.uk/nude-bandage-ladder-detail-swimsuit

www.asos.com/wolf-whistle/wolf-whistle-textured-nude-swimsuit-b-c-e-f-cup/prd/6515883?iid=6515883&transaction_id=102e103a103879cd87d8b4bb681083&affid=14329&istCompanyId=6f061ed0-7427-4b6c-bb90-987c0bd08468&istItemId=xtrixmpmti&istBid=t&pubref=1015

www.asos.com/somedays/somedays-lovin-nude-simple-swimsuit/prd/7328631?iid=7328631&transaction_id=10226c75559fee6bf875b5aed16b47&affid=14329&istCompanyId=6f061ed0-7427-4b6c-bb90-987c0bd08468&istItemId=xititrillp&istBid=t&pubref=1015

MumBod Sat 22-Apr-17 12:09:05

Why not just put elastoplasts over your nips and foof?

Cheap and practical. Make sure you use waterproof ones though, or else it could get embarrassing. And remove them very slowly.

Twinkie1 Sat 22-Apr-17 12:11:59

Woman had one on next to me by pool last week. About 50 people walking into the complex or past it were doing double takes as she looked starkers. I think you'd only be able to get away with it if you were incredibly fit and toned or it'd looked pretty dreadful.

KRG13 Sat 22-Apr-17 12:14:00

I think they'd look great on black skin for example but no, if you're white it just looks like some weird modern interpretive dance ensemble

Bigbiscuits Sat 22-Apr-17 12:15:41

KRG - "modern interpretive dance ensemble" grin

HiDBandSIL Sat 22-Apr-17 12:31:23

grin

JigglyTuff Sat 22-Apr-17 12:32:41

God what a hideous idea. That asos one looks like one of my gran's support garments

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 22-Apr-17 12:54:32

They look great on the models assuming they are going to some fashionable beach resort, not so much me bobbling about the local baths with pissy water and floating foot skin.

AllTheWittyNamesAreGone Sat 22-Apr-17 12:56:23

I saw one at the swimming pool, the young lady was fit and toned but still looked like she was wearing sausage skin

WaitrosePigeon Sat 22-Apr-17 12:59:35

Why?!

TakeASipOfDancingJuice Sat 22-Apr-17 13:00:54

I met up with my friend a while ago and she had brown leggings on. I must have been staring as she walked over to me cos the first thing she said was 'I look like I'm not wearing any trousers don't I'
She really did, they were the exact colour of her skin. I've never seen her in them again!
I wouldn't wear flesh toned leggings for the same reason. I don't want to look nekkid.

Wondermoomin Sat 22-Apr-17 13:03:51

Takeasip 😂 I rarely chuckle out loud when reading MN but that did it

OP, interested to know whether you are still in the market for a nude swimsuit now?

MerryMarigold Sat 22-Apr-17 13:09:59

Why not just put elastoplasts over your nips and foof?

Most of those swimsuits are little more <old gimmer of 43>.

But seriously, what's wrong with a nude swimsuit - everyone loves nude shoes and no-one says it looks like you're wearing no shoes!

FeralBeryl Sat 22-Apr-17 13:11:05

KRG gringrin
I was thinking of the 'Chandelier' music video too!

Penguin27 Sat 22-Apr-17 13:13:25

I had a nude swimsuit when I was about 10... never been so embarrassed in all my life!

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