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Still fat, but can I look nice?

(25 Posts)
ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 17:50:28

I've just realised my 'just managing' look that started when I had dc has now reached its fourth year.

I've recently joined ww and it's made me start paying attention to what I look like again. And it's not pretty.

Hair that hasn't been cut in over a year, usually scrapped back in to a ballet bun.

Daily wardrobe: Jogging bottoms/ poorly fitting jeans that either fall down or dig in. Baggy tops with holes, faded. I really don't have anything nice at all.

I am a size 16/18 with big boob, arms, legs, and ass. But an inexplicably small waist which makes most 'cover up' clothes make me appear bigger than I already am.

I have even previously tried ordering a couple of things online before but they looked hideous and got sent right back.

I haven't been back to work since dc disabled and really haven't been taking care of myself at all.

Dd also is disabled and starts school in September. She's going to have a hard enough time as it is fitting in, I don't want her to have a ghastly looking mum to add to the list.

I would be very grateful for any recommendations or suggestions on where to start looking.

taybert Sun 16-Apr-17 17:54:46

Of course you can look nice! Start with a hair cut- good cut in a style you can easily manage day to day- then take it from there I'd say.

ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 17:56:03

Just having a google of local hairdressers taybert.

I've just realised my 'nice' jogging bottoms have a hole in too blush

Hoppinggreen Sun 16-Apr-17 17:57:05

I'm a size 16 and get plenty of compliments on how I look.
I wear dark jeans and chinos a lot with smart tshirts and tops and a Barbour jacket if it's cold/wet. I also have nice nails ( mostly done myself) and caramel highlights in dark brown hair.
I always make sure I'm clean and tidy, although I don't wear a lot of make up. I wear smart trainers, usually leather ones
I have a reasonable budget so shop at Boden, Mint Velvet or similar

ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 17:59:34

Thank you Hoppinggreen

That's exactly what I'm after smile pretty isolated most of the time so had no idea where I'd start looking for clothes to suit me.

GoodDayToYou Sun 16-Apr-17 17:59:45

Good hair, statement jewellery and a nice scarf can make all the difference. That's what I tell myself.

sealtears Sun 16-Apr-17 18:00:16

Following as I want to look nice at a 14-16 but I'm all waist... and bingo wings advice very welcome smile

GoodDayToYou Sun 16-Apr-17 18:01:38

Online shopping is also really handy. I buy lots of dark basics, eg. Mini dresses with leggings or jeans, then accessorise.

NotMyPenguin Sun 16-Apr-17 18:03:36

Completely agree that a decent haircut is the perfect place to start! You will feel so much better for it (and then you can start looking for clothes). Also think about your jewellery and handbag or backpack.

In terms of clothes, I often find that getting a few nice but plain items is more versatile. Then you can change your look with a shawl or scarf or a piece of jewellery, but wear the same easy capsule wardrobe much of the time.

I really like the black waterfall cardigans from M&S for throwing over things; they seem to smarten things up and I get compliments despite not having really made much of an effort.

Thought (previously Braintree) are a lovely ethical clothing company that seem to have lots of comfortable and pretty stuff in their sale at the moment. M&S is also good, although a bit hit and miss if shopping on line and better to find a big shop where you can try things on. I adore Eileen Fisher but it is extremely expensive (especially after the pound has collapsed). Jigsaw also expensive but lovely.

A black jersey dress over charcoal leggings is my 'go to' default look. Also very forgiving of any body shape. The black jersey 'skater' dresses from M&S have a nipped in waist which might make the most of your figure.

GoodDayToYou Sun 16-Apr-17 18:04:38

My other tip, which is a recent discovery, is to use Pinterest to save wardrobe ideas. (Otherwise, I just Google endlessly, forget where I saw things and never get anywhere.)

OohNoDooEy Sun 16-Apr-17 18:07:36

I've got a similar figure and it is tricky, especially the jeans... so hard!

I've found that v neck dresses with boots and tights in winter and sandals in the summer is the most flattering look

BarneyRumbleton Sun 16-Apr-17 18:08:03

New Look high waisted skinny jeans in black are flattering, and easy day to day wear. A jacket with a nipped in waist.

Have a look on Pinterest for Size 16 outfit ideas, or curvy outfit ideas. You'll find loads.

And yes to a haircut!

Hoppinggreen Sun 16-Apr-17 18:10:14

And you can still wear trackies is they are clean and smart.
I have a blue pair from Benetton that are fitted but not tight.
I wear them with Cath Kidston/Gola trainers and a nice long sleeved tshirt or smart sweatshirt from Boden.
Sainsbury's have some quite nice stuff in , I bought some grey leather Velcro trainers from the the other day and load she of people have asked where they are from. I like GAP as well, not so much online but if you can get to a big store the staff are usually very helpful and suggest outfits.

robinia Sun 16-Apr-17 18:10:56

I haven't had a haircut in probably five years but I still look well turned out. I do trim it myself every six months or so. I also put it up in a sort of bun most days.
Just getting some new non-holey clothes in styles that suit you would be a good start.
And a 2-minute make-up in the morning. I've felt a whole heap better about how I look since I started doing that. I also do my nails now but my kids are older so I appreciate it can be harder to do the maintenance with younger children.

chaplin1409 Sun 16-Apr-17 18:12:42

Can I ask I am a size 16 too and wonderwd what style jeans do you all wear?

ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 18:18:31

Op I've never tried Pinterest I'll check that out.

I tried a pair of black skinny jeans on the other day and it looked awful though. My legs looked really bumpy sad

ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 18:19:17

But on the plus size side I lost ten pounds this week so hopefully they won't look like cottage cheese wrapped in cling film for much longer grin

happypoobum Sun 16-Apr-17 18:28:40

Ten pounds in a week!!! shock How did you do that?

I have been following the "How to Look Expensive in 2017" thread and it has been very useful. Forget the "expensive" bit - some of the clothes are from Tu and Sainsburys or H&M. Lots of hints about how to look well groomed and polished which is what I suspect you are aiming for?

Agree go for plain garments - fewer patterns make clothes more versatile. High waisted jeans are good if you have a tummy to hide.

I have Kondo'd my wardrobe and everything is now black, white, grey, camel or a shade of blue. Makes life so much easier.

Do you wear much make up? Start with hair, nails, make up.

Have a big clear out and throw away all the stuff that is raggy with holes, no matter how much you love it! That way you can't use it as a "fallback"

Good luck! tbusmile

Donttakemeout Sun 16-Apr-17 18:34:37

Size 16/18 Apple here.
I also struggle to get anything to look right.
Starting healthy eating and a wardrobe overhaul tomorrow.

Well done on your weight loss op

GoodDayToYou Sun 16-Apr-17 18:43:22

I get my jeans from Tesco usually. Bootlegs for about £16. You can put your points towards them too which always helps.

P1nkP0ppy Sun 16-Apr-17 18:44:09

Get a properly fitted bra and sensible knickers to avoid VPL.
Get your hair cut into a style you can manage and wear subtle makeup, that will give you a boost to start with op.
Ignore size labels - I'm a size 14 with clothes from 12 to 18; I wear what fits and suits me, generally ignoring trends and fads.
Iron your clothes, nothing shouts 'I don't care about my looks' more than crumpled and creased clothing - if you don't have time to iron then hang up clothes as soon as they either come out of the washing machine (and dry them on the hangers) or the tumble dryer.

herecomesthsun Sun 16-Apr-17 18:48:19

I wear knee length wrap dresses. V necks are good, I wear camisoles underneath to make sure they're not too low.

Knee length or midi wrap dresses are in fashion apparently!

I just don't bother with jeans or trousers at the moment, too uncomfortable and difficult to fit.

Me, I want to emphasise my waist and my lower legs, which are the trimmest part of me.

I have joined the gym again, in a hopeful frame of mind.

EnglishGirlApproximately Sun 16-Apr-17 18:53:36

I'm a size 18 and have a couple of uniforms that I know look ok for throwing on. In winter I wear a lot of dresses with tights and boots, or tube skirt with oversize cashmere jumper. I tend to go for slim jeans rather than skinny and wear with good quality long sleeve tees.

I struggle with going out stuff,always feel a bit overdone. I bought a purple of shirt dresses last year and liked them but in summer I'm less confident about what I wear.

Totally agree hair is important, I feel loads better if it's done.

ShamefulDodger Sun 16-Apr-17 19:02:28

Yes, well groomed is exactly what I'm hoping for.

And, after checking, I can confirm my whole wardrobe could be classed as 'well worn fallback' grin

And thank you, I was amazed at the ten pounds too! Just cooked healthier, used the ww app and left the house/walked more.

BarneyRumbleton Sun 16-Apr-17 19:58:35

I love spending an evening pinning outfits on Pinterest! Then when I have the cash, I look for similar styles to buy.

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