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Please somebody tell me what to wear

(55 Posts)
user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 16:10:58

I am nearly 60, body changed due to depression and menopause, so now quite fat.
Nothing fits. I look a state.
height about 5 ft 2

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 16:14:15

What do you like wearing? I'm 5'2 and have put some weight on due to illness/medication, so now a large 12 and feeling a bit fat. I look/feel better when I wear things I really like and that fit well. What's your style/budget?

perfectlybroken Mon 20-Feb-17 16:20:06

When my body shape changed I did some research into body shapes to identify what shape I was and looked at recommended styles. Also figured out my colouring (would have loved to 'have my colours done' properly but couldn't afford it), and what colours I should wear. This helped enormously and made me realise things weren't as bad as I first thought! Well fitting underwear also a great help. The you can kind of adapt that knowledge to your style. You could browse pinterest and other places to find styles you like if you are no longer sure. My changes were because of having children, but colouring especially can change with age, so you may be persisting with old favourites that just no longer work iyswim (for me I had a wardrobe full of brown, which used to be my go to basic but now ages me).
Hope the depression/menopause issues are improving, I know feeling good about appearance can be a real boost too flowers

Lucysdiamonds Mon 20-Feb-17 16:24:06

I have the same problem. .. don't rashly know what suits me, have put on quite a bit of weight. I live in leggings and dresses/tunis ..

How do you find stuff on pinterest? I never know what to search for?

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 16:36:04

ok weight about 11 stone, most of which is on rear end and boobs. Hour glass figure but loathe anything " sexy" or tight.

Trapped in Next Harem pants and tops. Will soon have reasonable budget.

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 16:37:13

bra diggin in to me , uncomfortable but can't face going up a size

MrsMeeseeks Mon 20-Feb-17 16:39:34

Why can't you face getting the right sized bra, OP? It will make you look slimmer instantly and your clothes will fit you better. Sorry you're feeling so rotten. flowers

OutToGetYou Mon 20-Feb-17 16:41:11

Bras are odd though, you could be wearing totally the wrong size, so 'going up a size' might not be the thing anyway, you might go down a band size and up a cup size.

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 16:43:06

Step one is definitely a couple of new bras. Don't worry about the size - cut the labels out of it bothers you.

Then try a million pairs of jeans on and buy the two or three pairs that fit/suit best.

I bought this dress recently, which I wear with a cami under, a biker jacket and ankle boots. It's quite good at skimming over my flabby waist/stomach, makes my bum look quite nice, and (with a decent bra makes my boobs look okay.

I also find tube skirts quite flattering, worn with a fitted but not clingy top or jumper.

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 16:49:58

bless you for your replies but Remus tubes won't work I fear. The dress is not for me and jeans make me look like a bottom with 2 sausages hanging down.

I have spent 50 odd years dieting and now I am trying the self acceptance route.

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 17:26:20

What sort of thing do you usually wear?

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 18:00:34

black Harem pants from Next and any sort of top depending on season. Have a nice rust cardigan and recently bought orange jumper from Fat Face.

Used to wear scarves but trying to desist

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 18:08:34

If you can wear harem pants (which I think are v difficult to make work) the I'd have thought tube skirts would be fine - with opaques plus whatever tops flatter you with the harem pants?

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 18:18:38

you're right I need to be brave

Floisme Mon 20-Feb-17 18:28:21

I'm sorry you've had a bad time. I'm the same age as you and came out of the menopause a different shape and didn't even notice at first. I just couldn't work out why none of my clothes looked good any more and once it clicked what was going on, I had to work out what to wear all over again. I'm 5'3 and somewhere between pear and hourglass whereas I'd always been straight up and down and flat chested (except for pregnancy and breastfeeding).

Honestly a decent bra was the way back for me. I went into Bravissimo wearing 32B and came out in a 28F.

I think jeans and trousers are tricky to get right. Agree with Remus about tube skirts but the first time I tried one on, I thought 'nah' because I wasn't used to anything so close fitting. It took a while, first to realise it really did suit me and then to get used to it. But if you're hourglass they can work really well and much comfier than a pencil.

I don't have any magic answers but I just tried loads and loads of different things on and took photos. Admittedly I like shopping. I also watch what people are wearing all the time and get a lot of ideas that way.

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 18:32:55

Speaking of tube skirts, Flo, have you found any good ones recently, if User doesn't mind a quick hijack?

ICantFindAFreeNickName2 Mon 20-Feb-17 18:36:50

Why don't you try a personal stylist at Debenhams or John Lewis. They can suggest styles / shapes that will suit your shape.

Floisme Mon 20-Feb-17 18:49:06

Remus just bought this one in grey from Mint Velvet Not somewhere I normally shop but this is nice and thick.

And would you believe, Whistles seem to be doing one again although I've not seen this one for real yet and it sounds as though there might be a split up the side.

Both are below the knee though, not seen any shorter.

Floisme Mon 20-Feb-17 18:50:00

Op what do you think are your best features? And don't say you haven't got any!!!

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie Mon 20-Feb-17 18:51:52

Thanks, Flo. Really like that MV one. I already have some Whistles midi ones, including ones with splits. I do like them but really miss their short ones.

Eliza22 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:07:14

Am watching...and learning. I'm the same, OP. Menopause, stress, caring for my disabled son, divorce (and now, happily remarried) has wrought indescribable changes on my Ms Average height/weight/shape.

I'd say, you ought to maybe focus on one thing at once. Eating better maybe? More water? Some daily exercise. Nothing could have prepared me for the changes involved in "the change". I believed it all to be self-indulgent codswallop. Not so!

Be kind to yourself. As others have said, there will be something you still like about yourself physically so, focus on that. I've had to accept that jeans are OVER for me. I never looked great in them but now, I look shocking. Aww, bless you OP....dieting for 50 yrs +. Wave goodbye to THAT, girl! I do think that, there comes a point when you have to stop. Just stop with the restriction and try everything in moderation.

Oh, and as for the bras.... do you remember God Wan and his obsession with hiking up middle aged breasts? 😄 He was right. A well fitting bra will give you your waist back and some self confidence.

Will keep checking on you to see how you're doing, love.

Eliza22 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:08:55

GOK Wan 👍

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:12:13

mmm not looking for pity vote but struggling to find something good....my hands maybe?

user1484578224 Mon 20-Feb-17 19:13:11

the whole weight/body thing has been fairly swift adding to my confusion.

Floisme Mon 20-Feb-17 19:30:03

Hands are a start. You could show them off with rings and interesting sleeves - which are in fashion at the moment. I bet there's more though.

Also - and this will really date me - I found Trinny and Susannah books really helpful at the time, especially the first one and the one called 'What you Wear can Change your Life.' And the BBC shows, before they took the shil and went to ITV. I know everyone takes the piss out of them now and the clothes themselves will be dated but it was the first time anyone had explained to me that different body shapes suited different clothes. Old hat now but a revelation at the time. You often see the books and DVDs in charity shops. They did one show about dressing at the menopause which actually made me cry.

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