Should my husband dye his hair?

[1ris]

DH is a "silver fox". Lovely, however he is looking for a new job and the marketplace is full of youngsters. DH is a young, fit and good looking 57.

He's being interviewed by much younger people usually and feels they are judging him by the colour of his hair - as a much older man.

Even as an experiment...should he do this?

[OnHold]

No. It will just make him look 57 with dyed hair.

[AngryYeti]

No, generally older men with dyed hair look ridiculous look at Paul McCartney, Donald Trump

[IHeartKingThistle]

My DH has been going grey since I met him when he was 20. He's now 39 and very obviously grey! He asked his entire department to guess his age the other day and they all put him years and years older than he actually is - weird because his face is ageing very well! He was a bit put out but hasn't even considered dyeing it.

When we got married he was 27 and loads of people asked him if he was going to dye his hair. We were like and I'm very glad he's never done it. I think he's gorgeous!

[fluffiphlox]

No it looks awful and desperate. He should get a proper modern haircut. I have one the same vintage (husband that is) but he only has a few grey hairs. He is very scathing about the sad bastards that dye their hair. It always looks improbable on men.

[Gottabeyou]

If it's affecting his job prospects I would say he could try it.

[PickAChew]

No. It'll look shit.

[MidnightVelvetthe7th]

No, he should not feel he has to compete with younger applicants on their playing field where they have the advantage, this includes dyeing his hair & 'dressing young'.

The thing about being judged (as someone over 40 now myself :) ) is that women are judged to be too old, too past their prime, too set in their ways, too many years of looking after children & not keeping up to date. Whereas men the same age are likely to be seen as more successful, as more experienced, more powerful, as valuable members of the team.

Instead of trying to match the other applicants' advantages, he should be emphasising the things that you only get with age, such as experience etc

[snowgirl1]

I'd say he'd be better trying a 'trendier' haircut, rather than dyeing his hair. For some reason it dyed hair always looks so obvious on men.

[notMarlene]

No, please don't encourage him to dye it. I'll almost certainly look really odd and obvious. Dyed over grey hair isn't particularly flattering on anybody. We're used to seeing it on women so have learned to ignore/accept (or something) the look. On me it's awfully obvious how synthetic it is.

[troodiedoo]

Your husband's hair, so his call. If he does then would strongly recommend a professional job and not a box of just for men.

[notMarlene]

On men

[troodiedoo]

A decent, well cut suit may well give him more youthful looks than dyeing though.

[notMarlene]

If he does choose to go for it then a professional dye job is absolutely the way to go, yes. He would need to be clear about the extent of the faff, time and expense required before he started though. It'll still be obvious but slightly less as a first impression.

[1ris]

OK, so it's a no then. He does have a trendy hairstyle and he looks good/stylish/fit. I was surprised that he even thought about it but there you go. Seems that men too are being faced with ageism in the workplace.

[Bluntness100]

I'm also in the defo not camp. It is absolutely always obvious and it always looks awful and it will make him look older. I work with quite a few men that do it and hands on heart the ones that don't look way better and younger. The ones that do, it's hard not to look at it. And some of them use very expensive hairdressers.

In addition the regrowth will be a total pain in the backside.

[Maverick66]

DEFINETELY not . Nothing IMO looks worse or more desperate than a man with dyed hair.

[Gobbolinothewitchscat]

No - tell him just to lodge an age discrimination claim instead.

[MrsMeeseeks]

No. Grey hair covered with dye never looks good, IMO. The colour is unconvincing and you always get grey regrowth, which is far more ageing than just being grey.

[thedevilinablackdress]

I don't disagree with PP who say he should leave it and that dyed hair can look bad, but I do wonder if they feel the same about women dying grey hair? Does that also look bad are are we conditioned to feel differently about how the sexes deal with ageing?

[Floisme]

I was thinking the same thing. Myself, I think home dyed hair looks a bit shit on everyone, male and female, and that, if you're going to do it, at least get it done professionally.

But ageism in the work place is very real so I can't say he's wrong to be anxious. I'm sure I'd struggle to find another job in my field now, even though I think I'm good at what I do.

[Bluntness100]

I don't think it's about how we deal with ageing in the genders, but for some reason s woman can dye her hair and it looks great, a man basically can't, it always looks dense and unnatural.

Maybe it's the lack of make up to enhance the skin to go with it, or the length of the hair, differences in hair type , or maybe because it's not the norm it jars our eyes.

Men can also do stuff to help the aging process, from a good modern hair cut, well cut clothes, physically fit, even Botox or fillers, but seldom does dying their hair or even wearing make up work for them, no matter how many cosmetic companies try to push it.

[troodiedoo]

A good purple shampoo could make his greys look amazing.

[Skooba]

Get it done professionally, with some hilites so not a wodge of black. And leave some silver at the temples.
I don't think it would occur to much younger people that his hair is dyed.

[MrsMeeseeks]

I do wonder if they feel the same about women dying grey hair?

Yep.

[MrsMeeseeks]

a woman can dye her hair and it looks great, a man basically can't, it always looks dense and unnatural.

I disagree with this and think that it's specifically dying grey hair darker that looks bad.