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Husband bought me a really awful but expensive bag for my birthday, what shall I do?

(97 Posts)
feesh Sun 12-Feb-17 10:23:25

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and I don't know why he's done it, as I am definitely not a bag person (I usually wear a satchel from Jones the Bootmaker!) but he's bought me this probably hideously expensive Burberry bag and matching purse for my birthday. We live overseas so I don't know if I can exchange it or not, but in any case I'm really not a fan of Burberry at the best of times. It's this one (it's the visible Burberry check which I object to!) uk.burberry.com/buckle-detail-leatherhouse-check-crossbody-bag-p40460471

And there's a matching purse as well, which I am a bit gutted about, as I already have an absolutely gorgeous soft electric pink Aspinal one which I love and treated myself to last year.

I think he has tried, bless him even though he only had to go downstairs from his office to buy it as it's cross body (which is the only sort of bag I will carry) and he has gone for pink as he knows I love my pink purse, although he's gone for dusky pink which I really hate!

I feel REALLY awful but honestly I will never use it and the dusky pink doesn't work with my usual colours (I'm quite a preppy navy blue jeans and tshirt type of person). Shall I fess up and ask if I can change it or not?

feesh Sun 12-Feb-17 10:24:21

PS it was a big birthday, hence he's gone a bit mad on the spending front.

wobblywonderwoman Sun 12-Feb-17 10:26:08

I would confess and change it to something that suits your style. It is huge money to just keep and loathe in secret.

ElspethFlashman Sun 12-Feb-17 10:26:24

Sorry OP I think it's gorgeous!

I guess if you're not a pastel person you wouldn't like it though. But I think it'd look great with jeans in the summer.

Eclecticmama Sun 12-Feb-17 10:27:22

I always think honesty and communication is best... It's a lot of money to waste if it sits in a cupboard not getting used

NarkyMcDinkyChops Sun 12-Feb-17 10:28:46

That's hideous, and the price! Ouch. I would just tell him that I really appreciate the thought, so touched yada yada yada, but its just not something you'd get the use of and you'd hate for him to have wasted his money etc. Lay it on thick.
If he bought it in a shop see what their return policy is.

Mangoandpassionfruit Sun 12-Feb-17 10:29:27

It's completely gorgeous but yes too expensive and lovely for you not to love every day. I would confess and go together to choose a new one.

LizzieMacQueen Sun 12-Feb-17 10:29:43

Should be easy enough to exchange if the shop is downstairs from his work.

I like it but I think pastels only suit a small ( mostly neat and clean individuals) group of people.

MarshaBrady Sun 12-Feb-17 10:31:15

You have to say something, choose something new together.

BlondeBecky1983 Sun 12-Feb-17 10:31:54

As Burberry go I think it's quite a nice bag but I would definitely be asking to change it.

HoneyDragon Sun 12-Feb-17 10:33:25

It's not awful but if it's not your taste you either need to tell him or resign yourself to a life time of pastels.

MrsEricBana Sun 12-Feb-17 10:33:33

Definitely yes to asking him if you can swap it together but could be tricky if he didn't buy it there though I guess you could suggest that he just return it and you pick out something else.

WatchingFromTheWings Sun 12-Feb-17 10:33:49

I really like it! Bit shock at the price!

mrsBeverleygoldberg Sun 12-Feb-17 10:34:09

It comes in black, could you exchange it?

FatCatFaces Sun 12-Feb-17 10:34:20

The visible check is horrible. It would be much less offensive without it, although I'd never want a pink bag to be honest...

I think you'll have to speak up. It's too expensive to hide and forget.

FutureMrsRanj Sun 12-Feb-17 10:36:05

Lovely for a Burberry, but if you don't want it you have to say

YouWereRight Sun 12-Feb-17 10:37:47

Just tell him its not really you.

feesh Sun 12-Feb-17 10:38:41

Haha at neat and clean.....so not me! I am a very messy person and I have twin toddlers and always look a state, so practical is very high up my list! I love buttery soft, slouchy bags, whereas this one is very formal a stiff, and I had been thinking getting something 'naice' but it wouldn't have been from Burberry, it would have been something more bohemian.

I feel like such an ungrateful cow, but it's such a ridiculous amount of money to spend on something I won't use that I am going to have to go and exchange it. The thing is he hasn't actually given me the option to say if I like it or not, so it's going to be an awkward conversation. I might go into the shop one day without him and gauge the lie of the land first.

Doobigetta Sun 12-Feb-17 10:40:10

I was thinking that would actually go really well with jeans and a navy blazer, but I hadn't seen the checked bit, I'm not so sure about that. Could you say to him that it's lovely but you'd already seen another you've fallen in love with, and would he mind if you swapped it?

Laiste Sun 12-Feb-17 10:41:25

Be honest. Gently. At that price you can't let it languish at the back of a cupboard.

Or ... you could post it to me grin I'll have it!

witwootoodleoo Sun 12-Feb-17 10:46:50

I would investigate the options for refund or exchange before you say anything. If it's impossible in your country to do either there's no point in saying anything as it will just upset him. Provided something could be done I'd tell him that you adore the bag, it's really lovely and your pre-child self would have been delighted, but you've been worrying a lot about using it and it getting ruined with the kids so you think you'd be more comfortable and therefore get more wear and enjoyment out of something more practical. That way he hopefully won't feel criticised or underappreciated but you should be able to get something you prefer

AvonCallingBarksdale Sun 12-Feb-17 10:46:53

I actually like it, but if it's not to your taste, then tell him. I did this when DH bought me a v expensive gift for a big birthday. I knew it'd cost the earth and he'd put a lot of thought into it, but he'd just got it wrong, and I knew I wouldn't wear it ever. In the end, I told him that although I loved one part of it, the other part was really not to my taste/style. He was a bit hurt but preferred that I'd been honest - we went back to the shop, changed the part I didn't like and now I wear it a huge amount. I posted on here about it under a different name and everyone bar one odd poster who thought I just wanted to salve my own conscience agreed that honesty was the best policy.

Swimminguphill Sun 12-Feb-17 10:48:26

What about this one? uk.burberry.com/the-baby-bridle-bag-in-riveted-leather-p40459311 looks a bit zadig&voltaire to me, quite punky and cool

Swimminguphill Sun 12-Feb-17 10:50:07

They also have in plain black without the rivets. I must say Burberry do have some doozies on their site though - my eyes!!!

KoalaDownUnder Sun 12-Feb-17 10:50:55

I'm with you on all fronts, OP. I loathe Burberry check and I don't like structured bags.

At that price? Tell him, gently.

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