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Urgent - I need a BANGING dress for next weekend. Please help.

(14 Posts)
catinbooots Sat 21-Jan-17 20:50:15

School reunion. And I am fat. Fattest I've ever been. Too late now to get skinny so really need help to find a dress.

I'm thinking black as it's slimming and I have some great new silver and grey snakeskin ankle boots. Thought I could wear tights as it will be chilly.

I have biggish norks and cleavage is probbo least-worst-bit at mo. I also find that an al fresco knocker or two can help distract eyes from the rest of the mess body

Arms are fat.

Smallish waist. Arse large but not fully collapsed yet.

Slight jelly belly and humongous thunder thighs.

I really can't face wearing one of those torture devices that they call shapewear. I could probably manage Spanx.

I am literally begging for your help. Begging.

ageingrunner Sat 21-Jan-17 20:53:27

What size are you and how tall?

catinbooots Sat 21-Jan-17 20:57:07

5'5" and size 14. Would probbo be a 16 in somewhere like TopShop (no vanity sizing)

ScarlettDarling Sat 21-Jan-17 21:10:21

What about this Miss selfridge dress.

It's out of stock in 14 but their sizes are small and they do have a 16. I think its gorgeous...would show off your cleavage but would skim over your tum, bot and thighs.

I know it's fairly short but with thick black tights and your foxy boots I think it would look good.

Littlepig8834 Sat 21-Jan-17 21:13:35

Something like this any good?

http://www.asos.com/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=7252354

ASOS can be odd with sizing, I've had to size up and down so if you find something you like it may be worth ordering in two sizes.

catinbooots Sat 21-Jan-17 21:18:05

Love the look of the Miss Selfridge one - just worry it might be too short.

The ASOS one is gorgeous. Can't quite work out what material it is though. Good price as well.

Deffo both along the lines I was thinking.

ScarlettDarling Sat 21-Jan-17 21:23:53

catin, underneath that pic of the miss selfridge dress, it gives the model's statistics and she's 5'10", so it's going to be a lot longer on you! Also, with opaque black tights, you wouldn't feel too exposed.

MrsBlennerhassett Sat 21-Jan-17 21:26:43

www.asos.com/river-island/river-island-star-embellished-tea-dress/prd/7229910?iid=7229910&clr=Black&cid=13931&pgesize=36&pge=1&totalstyles=108&gridsize=3&gridrow=12&gridcolumn=1 ??

Itscurtainsforyou Sat 21-Jan-17 21:47:12

I have just bought this

Itscurtainsforyou Sat 21-Jan-17 21:47:52

Sorry sent too soon! I don't suit black but really liked it.

FlorenceandtheWashingMachine Sat 21-Jan-17 23:09:09

This is in stock in a 16. Reviews really good and I think it would flatter your figure www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/religion-forceful-dress/yn299/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=4402#colour:Jet Black,size:18

Kazplus2 Sun 22-Jan-17 07:27:12

How about this - v-neck to enhance cleavage, slimming black and could work with shouea or boots:
m.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-luisa-lace-ponte-dress-navy/p/2695173?sku=236058600&s_kwcid=2dx92700017385857846&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CK-L8Mac1dECFQg6Gwod054Cmw&gclsrc=aw.ds

Kazplus2 Sun 22-Jan-17 07:27:42

Oops it's navy, not black but still lovely.

Kazplus2 Sun 22-Jan-17 07:30:06

Or maybe this one :
www.google.co.uk/search?q=phase+eight+dress&client=ms-android-oneplus&sa=X&biw=360&bih=560&tbs=vw:g,mr:1,vrs:QjsKCAjY_1zgg2_184CggI2P84INn_1OAoICNj_1OCDd_1zgKCAjY_1zgguIQ5CggI2P84INz_1ODIHRjkzMzg0OA%3D%3D,cat:2271,pdtr0:933848%7C933851,init_ar:SgVKAwjfEQ%3D%3D&tbm=shop&srpd=3438669822268848080&prds=opd:5161830453093767368,olvc:1,num:4,cid:10032629210621223619&ved=0ahUKEwj81tm1ndXRAhUC1iwKHdhxBoYQhC0ICigD

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