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clothes for funeral

29 replies

rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 07:07

My Dad died suddenly and the funeral is next Tuesday. I live in a hot country so I have literally nothing to wear and no idea either. I have a pair of brown leather ankle boots and a very old but still ok pair of black leather knee high boots, but no dress or coat. There are probably going to be about 400 people there (at least) so while I don't like to care what I look like I actually do.

Friends have offered to take me shopping but I don't want to brave the Christmas crowds, so I thought I could order online?

I'm a size 16 with big boobs and I look better in charcoal or navy or brown than black. But maybe black is best, I'm not sure.

Would be very grateful for suggestions.

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 07:29

Oh and size 43 feet to complicate matters

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SVJAA · 15/12/2016 07:33

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to say I'm very sorry about your Dad Flowers

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Rumtopf · 15/12/2016 07:37

Have you got a company like Next or Asos where you are that you can order online to be delivered? I'd go with something plain and simple that you're comfy in.
I'm sorry about your Dad and I hope that Tuesday goes as well as it possibly can.

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 07:53

Oh no, I meant I will be in UK for funeral. So online delivery to UK.

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SVJAA · 15/12/2016 08:08

Next usually has pretty reliable next day delivery.

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LadyBundleBrent · 15/12/2016 08:38

So sorry about your dad. So long as the colours are muted I don't think there is any problem with charcoal, navy etc rather than black. Simple knee length dress and cardi with black tights and pumps would be appropriate (I am happy to mix black tights and shoes with navy and it would look good with charcoal too). Not too sure about the knee highs - I probably wouldn't but I don't think they would be commentworthy. I'd try m&s too though you might need to go in person?

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LadyBundleBrent · 15/12/2016 08:44

Found these on the new look website (lots of other options if the heel is too high in a size 9) - they might have a next day delivery option though not sure. You can also buy new look shoes via ASOS (mentioned above)

m.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/black-suedette-contrast-stripe-pointed-heels_509627501

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 08:44

Thanks, thats really helpful Lady.
Do you think buy some black ankle boots? The only black shoes I have are high heeled court shoes. Im just thinking boots would be a bit more weatherproof than shoes for standing round the graveyard if it is cold and wet. Maybe I should just wear his wellies! Thats what I usually live in when I visit.

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 08:45

Ah cross post.

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 08:47

would something like this be appropriate?www.tallgirls.co.uk/buckle-trim-ankle-boot-black-am4072bk#

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 08:48
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BagelGoesWalking · 15/12/2016 08:49

Very sorry to hear your sad news. SadFlowers
You could look at H&M too, they usually have lots of diff trousers, long cardia/jumpers to choose from. Asos too.

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LadyBundleBrent · 15/12/2016 08:49

Good point - I think those boots are perfect.

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Dulcimena · 15/12/2016 08:57

No advice, but I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself Flowers

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Kr1stina · 15/12/2016 09:35

You say that your black kneee high boots are still ok so they sound fine. Just give them a good polish. If the soles and heels need redone , it doesn't cost much and there are places in every shopping centre or beside big supermarkets . A resole and heel is about £15 I think.

I don't think you should buy new boots as they are expensive and if you live somewhere hot you won't wear them again. And new footwear could hurt on the day . Better to do up the ones you have as you know they are comfortable.

I agree that any dark colour is suitable, navy , charcoal, dark brown etc. You just need dark and smart. So no micro mini dress or cleavage but most other things are ok . Trousers are fine these days, if you would be more comfortable and you can wear your ankle boots.

If you live somewhere hot you might not be acclimatised to the cold here in December so you need a hat , scarf and gloves for the graveside. Cemeteries are always windy for some reason.

I agree with the advice to order from Next or similar. I'd order several different dresses and two sizes or each for choice . You can try them straight away and get one of your friends to take them back, so the money won't be out your account for long .

Don't, whatever you do, give yourself just one option, because then you will be in a panic if it's not right. And you will be stressed if you end up wearing something that doesn't fit.

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Kr1stina · 15/12/2016 09:37

If you live near a Next store you can pick up your order in store and it doesn't cost anything. If you want someone sled to pick it up for you ( one of your helpful friends ) they need your account number and some form of ID for you .

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Allatseainthemidlands · 15/12/2016 09:40

So sorry for your loss. You don't have to wear black. You need flats for graveyards so your boots should be fine. And agree with other posts- Next are good for U.K. delivery. The important thing is that you are comfortable and warm enough. Make sure you have pockets/a bag for tissues. Look after yourself

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ohtheholidays · 15/12/2016 09:41

Very sorry for the loss of your Dad Flowers
Boots upto under the knee or ankle boots would be fine,I wouldn't wear heels or you could risk getting stuck in the wet ground,but I wouldn't wear knee high boots.

Clothes wise New Look,Next,Debenhams,Dorothy Perkins are all good but if your buying it online and this close to Christmas I'd be ordering it today to be delivered to the uk and I'd try and get next day or Saturday delivery,companys get so busy this time of year.

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Kr1stina · 15/12/2016 09:47

This is navy and has good reviews and is in stock in a 16

www.next.co.uk/g5378s3#428017

Next sell lots of styles in Tall, although they sell out quickly but you might be lucky . I find many of their dresses too short for work and I'm only 5'5".

Their quality is a bit hit and miss but it sounds like you only need to look smart for one day and not last a season.

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Kr1stina · 15/12/2016 09:56

John Lewis Do next day delivery to their own stores or Waitrose for free. I'd order today and get helpful friend to collect for you , again with your order Number and ID


Hobbs navy warp round dress
www.johnlewis.com/hobbs-tanya-dress-navy-multi/p2869303

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 13:11

Thank you, that's all so helpful. I liked the French connection John Lewis one and have ordered a couple from pepper berry too. Will see if I can borrow some smart gloves - good advice.

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rememberingdad · 15/12/2016 13:32

Ok have taken your advice to heart and ordered 6 dresses from John Lewis next day delivery. DH is going to turn grey if he looks at the bank statement! Can then ask one of the kind friend's who have offered help to return most to a Waitrose.

Have also ordered 2 coats from house of Fraser and the boots to try on in comparison to old boots.

Feels good to have that sorted. It's actually really helpful to be kept busy with all this practical stuff (funeral planning too), but I guess it would be healthy to try to have some downtime to just think too.

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Sonotkylie · 15/12/2016 15:20

Sorry to hear about your father's death. Looks like you have the clothes sorted. Just make sure you are comfortable.
As to down time and thinking, that will happen but needs time and space - don't force it. I found that there was a day between my father's sudden death and the funeral when I was on my own at home. So I put on very loud music and cleaned the fridge and ranted and cried and thought. Afterwards I felt exhausted but better, and I had a clean fridge! Would work also with a dirty car - anything that you can take it all out on!
Good luck

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