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size 20/22 - Please HELP???

(89 Posts)
SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 09:47:11

I am going to meet with a friend whom I last saw 25 years ago when I was a size 10.
For various reasons (mostly health related) I am now a 20/22.

I want to feel confident about my presentation.

I was thinking - dark jeans, white shirt, blazer/tweed jacket.
scarf, good boots and bag. sort of thing I feel comfy in.
I am not good with dresses/skirts/ heels, so that type of look is best.

But, what underwear for a good 'foundation'?
I have a protruding stomach and a bulge from 2 c-secs.
I also have comedy sized breasts.

Pls be kind.

I don't have the courage to go into a shop, and can't afford a personal stylist.

But I'd like to look as good as I can, for my own self esteem.

delilabell Wed 16-Nov-16 09:53:07

What type of jeans/shirt are you thinking of?I definetly think wearing your own style /what you feel happiest in is best else you'll spend the while meeting feeling uncomfy.
I'm the same size as you. My bras are bravissimo and my pants are midis from m&s. I've got a 6moth old and a big belly and they fit well, are comfy and feel supportive.
I hope you have a lovely visit

SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 09:58:09

Oh, thanks delilabell

I was thinking v dark denim bootcut jeans. Maybe ones with a 'tummy panel'.
Shirt - a plain white collared type or maybe a stripy mans shirt?

I'll get a new bra - it's really the stomach that bothers me - I cant have surgery in time so I need something to replace my shot to pieces abdominal muscles...

Pinkkahori Wed 16-Nov-16 10:00:01

What is your budget? The outfit you described reminded me of Joules and they do up to a size 20. They definitely have tweed jackets


wheresthewine36 Wed 16-Nov-16 10:04:13

Hi Silk,
Your outfit choice sounds perfect.
I have gone from a size 10 to a 20/22 in the last 5 years so I know how difficult it is to be faced with seeing someone from the past.
For underwear, I've found the Maidenform WYOB take off inches Singlet really good. (I got mine from Simply Be). It has straps and an open bust so you can wear a good minimiser bra with it. Maybe treat yourself to a nice statement necklace or earrings.x

SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 11:10:37

Hi Pink yes, that is the sort of thing.
There is also a Scottish Co called Ness that does lovely stuff so I'll need to check their max size.


yes, it's hard isn't it? It's an ex lover too, so although I no longer want this to re-start, I am feeling well prickly about it!
Thanks very much for the recommendation re Maidenform.
This is just the sort of pointer I need smile thanks

wheresthewine36 Wed 16-Nov-16 11:10:41

Simply Be and Very do some fantastic high waisted jeans which are really flattering (can you tell I don't like High street shopping anymore?! )

wheresthewine36 Wed 16-Nov-16 11:15:27

Go Wan does some good control underwear, too. I usually order a whole bundle of stuff, try it all on at home to see what works best and send back the losers. When you're trying them on, don't forget to check your reflection when sitting down...Nothing worse than picking out a fab outfit then sitting down and realising you can't breathe/have buttons gaping!
The main thing is to feel confident and comfortable in your choice.xx

SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 12:18:01

thank you! where do you get your Gok Wan stuff pls?

JamieVardysParty Wed 16-Nov-16 12:32:35

My sister is the same size and has this jacket which looks amazing on her. She wears it with a similar outfit you describe - either a white shirt or a Henley shirt with a flattering neckline. They also have it in a green. I like how they have styled it with the Breton top in the green.

She also has a fair bit of shapewear from this place.

knowler Wed 16-Nov-16 13:18:35

That tweed jacket is lovely, Jamie. I'd go for something like that (looks like a decent length) with a longer length breton and a funky scarf.

Have a good time, Silkthreads. Remember, while some people remain svelte their whole lives, it's perfectly normal and quite common to put on weight and for people to, you know, change a bit in 25 years! I've put on 4 stone in 16 years (curiously coinciding with being in a relationship with DP - all his bastarding fault) so I know how you feel - but I also know it's not the be all and end all. Buy that tweed jacket smile

Rumtopf Wed 16-Nov-16 13:33:26

I've just bought some high waisted slim leg jeans from the sale page on the Next website and they fit really well. Dislike boot cut jeans as it feels like extra, pointless, flappy material.
Good bra that fits well, and remember to scoop to get rid of bulges at the back.
Nice fitting longer length shirt, good jacket, scarf and great jewellery.
Do your nails and hair, light but good makeup and remember to have a lovely time!

SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 14:03:11

Oh, you guys are lovely! - thank you.

I've spent the last 13 years disabled and piled on the weight - so I prob weight literally twice as much as when I last saw him (I was a strip of a girl)

I've seen a nice jacket in Joe Browns (heritage one)? and think that, with some very good underwear, tight jeans (for the hold in factor) and decent boots/bag/blow dry etc I might even, you know, feel pretty again???

(I've not worn make up for 15 years, so no idea where to start - I am a 'project')

JamieVardysParty Wed 16-Nov-16 14:09:29

It sounds like you have a great plan and good idea of what suits you - which is more than most people have, regardless of their size. Definitely get your hair done and maybe a bit of makeup - light foundation/tinted moisturiser, brows neat, bit of mascara and tinted lip balm/neutral lipstick. Just sort of you but slightly more polished than day to day.

MIL had a similar reunion last year but with university friends. She was worried about going, what to wear, what they would think of her etc, until we pointed out that they probably had the same fears! He has also aged 25 years and will have wrinkles/grey hair/balding/put on weight etc.

Buy clothes that you can wear like an armour, that you know you look good in and are comfortable in and this will give you a massive boost. Have a great time.

knowler Wed 16-Nov-16 14:11:33

Can you have a blowdry that morning? Might be a cheap way of giving you a bit of an extra lift and set you up for feeling good. Have a nice time.

Rumtopf Wed 16-Nov-16 14:14:47

Oh Silk, we are all pretty, your size doesn't effect that. I'm fatter than fat at the moment and haven't a reason other than liking food too much and not moving enough!

If you want to experiment with some make up then nip into boots and get them to colour match your skin and get something light like a BB cream, mascara and a tinted lip balm.

qazxc Wed 16-Nov-16 14:26:27

I'm a similar size and an apple shape (big belly) I tend to go for skinny or straight jeans/ trousers. That way I can wear looser tops ( I find that volume on top and bottom, like bootcut jeans make me look bulkier) . Scarves are also good belly cover.
Dress wise I tend to go for jersey fake wrap dresses, something with a v neck and sleeves. Generally out of marks and spencer or monsoon.
A good fitting bra is also helpful as it seperates my boobs from my belly and gives me better shape.

delilabell Wed 16-Nov-16 15:43:10

I was just going to say the same as qaz. I find skinny /straight leg jeans better than boot cut. For years I wore bootcut thar are long look far better than boot cut. .dark denim definitely the right colour.if you feel better in boot cut go for ones that are long enough.,size:

Is this the jacket. It's gorgeous, how long is it?

I want you to feel pretty for you rather than for your friend to think.

DoItTooJulia Wed 16-Nov-16 15:46:21

M&S do a control vest. I love mine-no lumps and bumps and no risk of any flesh on show shudder at the thought of showing my back fat off

delilabell Wed 16-Nov-16 15:56:27

If it was me I'd go for skinny jeans a soft fine knit top fot under the jacket, heels and statement necklace.
I had a lovely jumper from new look. Let me look

delilabell Wed 16-Nov-16 15:59:22

This kind of thing

polyhymnia Wed 16-Nov-16 16:15:51

Recommend NYDJ jeans for tummy smoothing. Get all my jeans from there. They are fabulous but also a bit ££.

SilkThreads Wed 16-Nov-16 21:20:17

YES. that is the jacket.

Yes, want to feel pretty for ME not him but this is the spur I need, iyswim?

I want to put a pic up of me so you can see but I'd need to get it taken down again my MN so I can stay anon...

can I do that, do you think???

delilabell Thu 17-Nov-16 10:31:31

Yes totally get it , could you crop your head off? (The photo obvs)

SilkThreads Fri 18-Nov-16 10:19:07


I'll try...

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