Another Dress thread, please advise as I am hopeless and feel out of my depth!

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

I have my FIL's 70th coming up, a very big posh do.

I am a SAHM to my 3yo (well, I work from home but effectively a SAHM) and have lost my mojo in the style dept.

I also didn't really ever do dresses in the past for a big night out - when I was younger, more confident and more toned/sometimes a size smaller I would experiment with sharp pencil skirts/funky tops/very high heels etc.

I have lost that confidence and also now I'm a slightly flabby size 14 (on top, more like a generous 12 on the bottom) I don't feel I can experiment comfortably.

Sooooo... I feel like for this occasion I will feel most comfortable, albeit a fraction risk-averse, in a smart frock.

I love and suit very tailored styles and I currently HATE my upper arms, they're probably not absolutely awful but they used to be lovely and toned (albeit always quite large; I have a big upper body!) and now I feel I need something with a sleeve, or at least something to cover the very top of my upper arms.

I like this (I love grey, but I like the black too) - what do people think?

www.johnlewis.com/mint-velvet-chiffon-bandage-dress/p3046151?colour=Grey

And also I love this but worry the cap sleeve might not be right for my arm issues

www.johnlewis.com/store/french-connection-lula-stretch-cap-sleeve-v-neck-dress-black/p2925476?navAction=jump

There are actually a couple of Phase Eight ones I like the look of too but not sure I can bring myself to go for a Phase Eight as I am alreday feeling frumpy and mumsy. Is Mint Velvet in that category, though?

Any advice MUCH appreciated, the party is next week and I'm feeling a bit down about how un-stylish I always look these days - I know it's a small thing but I've lost so much confidence

[Lucked]

Both are lovely, I would order both and try on. You could get it at Christmas too. Also have a look at winser of London, very tailored and

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

Thanks Lucked, glad to hear my judgement isn't completely off!

They are a little safe compared to what I might have worn in the old days but I like them both and think I will feel more comfortable all night playing it slightly safe.

Might team with some of my olden-days killer heels to make me feel a fraction more like my old self...

[PersisFord]

I'm just here for dress porn, but also for solidarity. I've been exactly where you are and have also gritted my teeth and ordered phase 8 stuff (mostly so I could collect it from waitrose and get a free coffee). I felt like I was dying a bit inside though.

This dress turned me around. I have it in a different colour but it is incredibly flattering. I know it shows your arms but because it's so short people will mostly be looking at your legs. It's the best thing I have ever bought!

In other news I totally have my mojo back now. It will come, and you will remember that you are a gorgeous, stylish woman with interesting things to talk about. And wherever your clothes are from you will rock them and turn heads wherever you go

[glasshalfsomething]

Love the mint velvet one. Not Mumsy at all. Thrown in some statement jewellery and a pair or coloured heels to make it really stand out!

[PersisFord]

Yes, good idea about the killer heels!!! And some nice bright lipstick

[flossietoot]

They are both perfectly nice dresses, but nothing really special! I think you could probably get something a bit more glitzy, especially with all the dresses in for Christmas! Have you looked at Monsoon and Coast? Or Reiss?

[chatnanny]

Both classic and smart. Do you like your arms? I only ask as a lot of women don't.

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

Wow persis, I LOVE that but I'm sooooooo scared of upper arm display!!
My legs are still ok though so maybe I should be going short...

Thanks flossie, had forgotten about Reiss, will have a look right now... I'm shying away from glitz cos I feel so drab :( but myabe a bit of shimmer is what I need...

Glass, you have read my mind, I've always loved a coloured heel and have some fab hot pink ones that I think I could bring out with whatever I choose...

Thanks so much everyone, feel better already. Am on the case, at least.

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

chatnanny, no I hate my arms :( They've always been on the hefty side but I used to do a lot of weights and they were at one point rather gorgeously toned and defined. Now they're just big. I hate them.

[PersisFord]

What about if you spent the week really exfoliating and had a spray tan? That would make your arms look lovely.

I LOVE THAT DRESS SO MUCH AND I WANT EVERY ONE TO HAVE IT!!

[PersisFord]

You may as well order it and try it on! It's like magic!!

[PersisFord]

also because of the square shape of the dress (there is prob a technical term for that) and the sparkles it makes your shoulders look smaller?

Either that or it's just actually A Magic Dress

[PersisFord]

www.tedbaker.com/uk/Womens/Clothing/Dresses/IMOEN-Opulent-Orient-jacquard-dress-Black/p/131254-00-BLACK

[flossietoot]

www.reiss.com/p/embellished-bodycon-dress-womens-rosalin-in-black/?category_id=12838

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

www.reiss.com/p/cutaway-shoulder-dress-womens-hermione-in-off-white/?category_id=1121


Ooooooh, now I'm lusting over this one, if only I had a nice flat tummy and no hips, I'd look fab in this Maybe it's the sheer decadence of a WHITE dress, when usually I'm knee-deep in spilled pasta sauce and drips of ribena...

Perris, you are tempting me... I would even consider wearing your dress with thick black tights and knee boots... but I'm 40!!! Could I get away with that?

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

Oh, Flossie, I LOVE that one... at the top end of my budget really but it's stunning...

[PersisFord]

Ive tried this on and it's gorgeous. £££ though

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

the oriental ted baker one is nice too, that model isn't a scrawny wee thing and she makes it look amazing (she's very very pretty too, which probably helps)

[PersisFord]

I've tried flossie's on too and it's lush

[PersisFord]

prince you could wear it with tights but you should have your lovely legs out for people to see!!

The white is lovely too. I would nuke it with makeup before I even got out though!!

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

wow persis, that one is amazing. Might even consider it in the paler colours... good arm coverage. Would struggle with legs, though, I'm always happiest in black tights and would have to go bare legged I guess...? Could I do a Kate Middleton and go for sheer nude tights? IT's an evennig do so I don't think anyone would notice... are sheer tights ok??!! I don't know anymore!!!

[PersisFord]

Age is no barrier to hotness. if it looks nice on a 20 year old it will be twice as nice on a 40 year old

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

Persis, sadly my legs aren't as lovely as I fear I may have implied... they're a good shape but horribly pale and nearly always blotchy from ingrowns etc... sigh. I feel so past it.

[PersisFord]

I don't see why you shouldn't wear tights but I am terrible at things like that. Imagine it with your pink shoes!!

[SomeDayMyPrinceMightCome]

Persis that will now be my motto.

Thank you.