Post shopping trip - please shoot me

[exhaustedhome]

On my way home from a few hours at oxford street. I am desperate for new clothes and am 40 soon so would have loved a new outfit. These few hours to hit the shops were strategically planned - believe me

Literally feel like shooting myself. I used to be so good at style and clothes, and appeared put together and a bit 'on trend'

Now I have no idea what suits me. Kept catching myself in the mirror - just look like a fat frumpy mess.

Suddenly things that I thought looked good now make me look dreadful. I used to have gorgeous hair that was thick and in a sort of shaggy beachy wave style. It just looks a mess and it seems to be thinning out and lank.

Not sure what I'm posting for really, just feeling grumpy that I always assumed I'd have a fabulous time turning 40, and actually I just want to go and live in a cave.

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

Well, at least you didn't arrive home with a sack full of Per Una...

What were you looking for?

[exhaustedhome]

That's true. Did find myself walking towards 'john lewis' collection at one point though.

I want to look like Louise redknapp please

[BusterGonad]

It's not your body that's changed, it's your mind, you are now being very critical of yourself and what you think you look like isn't true. I'm feeling the same as I've just turnt 38 but I'm trying to not be so horrible to myself. Would I say the things I think about myself to a friend? No! So I shouldn't say them about myself!

[exhaustedhome]

Buster - that's kind but I think the problem is I haven't been critical enough of myself!

If I was a race horse, I'd be taken out the back and shot

[Chimchar]

No advice I'm afraid, but I'm feeling like you....I need a big overhaul. Make up, clothes, hair...the lot!
Watching for advice.

[BusterGonad]

I'm sure that's not true. Why don't you shopping with a friend who you think looks good and see what she thinks would suit you! Sometimes all we see are flaws where as a good friend may pick out something that you would never have dreamt of trying on but could look amazing!

[BusterGonad]

I love to browse clothes websites that show you whole outfits. It's really inspiring and I steer clear of any shops that could be judged as middle aged!

[exhaustedhome]

I was in young people's shops like Topshop etc.

I do all the web stuff, always looking instragram mums like chloelovestoshop and amothersedit. Like to look at people who are impossibly glam

My downfall/ saving grace is that mon to friday 7am to 6pm I wear a nurses uniform. Hides all manner of hideousness.

[BusterGonad]

Why don't you start from the neck up, treat yourself to some nice moisturizer, get into a cleansing routine that really makes your skin glow, buy some new foundation that gives you a glow too, I like DiorStar. Glowy yet covers redness, wrinkles etc. treat yourself to a everyday glam lippy and a cream blush. Get a haircut, maybe a shaggy bob or something that feels like 'you' but a glam you. Then when you're feeling good wear all your new makeup and go shopping. With nice make up etc the clothes will feel so much nicer too. Try everything on even if your not sure. I never thought a playsuit would ever suit me but I have 4 now and I love them!

[margaritasbythesea]

Sorry to hijack op but Buster could you recommend some websites that show whole outfits please? I get very frustrated on Pinterest because I can never find the outfits I like for sale. I have been looking for websites that do this well.

Op I feel your pain. Been there too.i get to go real shopping about once a year and if I don't find anything going I want to cry.

[margaritasbythesea]

I mean I want to cry because I feel it's all my fault. It's not though. Pants shops sometimes.

[Timeforabiscuit]

Get good underwear instead?

Seriously, its the thing you wear everyday - however if your job involes getting soaked to the skin in someone elses bodily fluids, then perhaps steer clear of slk french knickers.

[KickAssAngel]

IS it possible that you're not well? Hair and skin often reflect our underlying health. Have a good think about if you're eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercise. Start with that, then look at getting hair done, underwear etc.
40 is too young to be feeling like this. (I'm 47, btw, and fabulous and obsese)

[Pisssssedofff]

I've got a new philosophy of buying very few clothes and not spending much.
All my money goes on hair, nails, good food ie expensive and exercise. You can look awesome in a £10 dress if you've a body to die for and utterly shit in a £1000 dress if you look like a sack of spuds.
That's my new theory anyway

[BusterGonad]

I'm very much a fan of Oasis as the model wears a whole Oasis outfit, and has a video of her in it. Same as Very. It just gives you an idea of what T-shirt goes with what trousers. Etc. I've recently gone onto things like Pinterest to see what boots go with denim dresses. It just gives you another perspective on things.

[BusterGonad]

Also please remember some shops have hideous mirrors, they really do. I'd rather order my clothes online or take them home so I can get a 'true' view of myself, I also take a photo on my phone just to be doubly sure!

[SuperPug]

I find Topshoo fairly depressing, tbh.
I really like the fashion floor in John Lewis- they've recently had a price match there and have an excellent range of concessions. Good range in terms of budget as well.
In terms of Louise Redknapp- Reiss? Hush? Ted Baker?
If you can go back when it is a lot quieter, this is much better than being rushed on a Sat and feeling pressurised to buy quickly and get out quickly.

[BusterGonad]

Hasn't Louise Redknapp got her own range of clothing?

[margaritasbythesea]

Thanks Buster

[exhaustedhome]

Thanks for all these ideas and helpful suggestions.

Got home and cracked opened the vino and felt much better!

Interesting about not being well - I'm under massive amounts of stress at work with no let up. I suspect that as I'm getting older my resilience to this has diminished a little.

Just want to to be Gorgeous, swishy and fabulous. Hard to achieve that dealing with a queue of 10 ambulances!

[exhaustedhome]

Louise redknapp would just deal with a heaving a&e department with absolute style and fabulousness

[dudsville]

By any chance could your view of your appearance be hormone related? The 2 to 3 days before my period I look dull, flabby and tired. My eyes and skin brighten immediately after but that's a time I'd avoid anything to do with my appearance.

[Pisssssedofff]

Louise rednapp would tell you herself she wouldn't last five minutes running an A & E department

[exhaustedhome]

To be honest DUdsville - I look like shit all the time

[BusterGonad]

I doubt even Louise Rednapp looks like Louise Rednapp at home without all her 'staff' to dress her etc....