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Would you wear these trousers for a funeral?

(32 Posts)
Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 10:57:00

http://m.next.co.uk/g6416s5#759429

With a black slightly oversized, but still smart shirt. A bit like this:

http://m.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_36194+252006001_-1

Or are the trousers too flashy?

ErrolTheDragon Fri 21-Oct-16 11:05:37

It would depend whose funeral.

Funerals in our family aren't generally miserable affairs, I probably wouldn't wear that much black!

ErrolTheDragon Fri 21-Oct-16 11:06:55

TBH the trousers don't look like something most people would wear in the day, they're more of an evening look IMO (though the photo may be misleading).

PotatoBread Fri 21-Oct-16 11:09:39

I'd probably wear that for an evening down the pub tbh. I do love the trousers though. Have you got a fitted black blazer which might make it more funeral-esque?

Floisme Fri 21-Oct-16 11:14:37

I think they're on the edge, probably ok as long as the rest of the outfit is totally plain and unfashiony but I wouldn't wear them with the shirt you've linked.

Unless the family requests otherwise, I normally wear my most boring pair of black or grey trousers with an anonymous top in a dark colour.

EmmaGellerGreen Fri 21-Oct-16 11:16:20

Good grief no! A funeral isn't about what you look like!

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 11:30:23

I don't need any judgy comments. It is a close family member. I am just trying to find something that might give me a bit of a boost and make me feel able to face the day. Is it really that hard to understand?

The dress code is black. I'll probably just go for plain black trousers then. Thanks.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 21-Oct-16 11:33:09

flowers
I'm sorry for your loss. If the dress code is black, then that's what you should do, obviously, but plainer trousers sound like a better bet.

monkeywithacowface Fri 21-Oct-16 11:36:08

I think you'd be better off with plain black trousers but could have a similarly patterned shirt/top instead. I certainly don't think you need to be head to toe in black. Maybe a nice patterned scarf instead? The last funeral I went to there was very few people in all black and none of the men wore black suits, mostly navy or grey.

DanyellasDonkey Fri 21-Oct-16 11:41:16

Personally I think patterned top/plain trousers is a better look than the other way round. I love the blouse. I just don't like and have never worn patterned trousers.

If you're happy, then go for it, Probably nobody will notice what people are wearing.

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 11:43:09

Thank you for the opinions.

NicknameUsed Fri 21-Oct-16 11:43:11

I'm sorry for your loss, but in the kindest sense EmmaGeller is right. People are there to support the bereaved and grieve. What you look like doesn't matter, as long as you dress respectfully. It isn't a wedding or a christening.

IMO those trousers are too flamboyant for a funeral.

Floisme Fri 21-Oct-16 11:44:28

If the dress coded has been stated as black then that does sound pretty formal. I would play safe - unless you're immediate family i.e. following the coffin? I think that would give you more latitude. I'm sorry about your loss flowers

P1nkP0ppy Fri 21-Oct-16 11:46:27

I think plain black trousers and a black/patterned shirt and plain coloured jacket if the dress code is black op. Could you borrow a top and jacket?
💐

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 11:59:03

I am following the coffin.

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 12:01:43

I'll go with plain black.

I have been very lucky. I haven't been to a funeral in a couple of years and the last one I went to was brightly coloured, so the complete opposite. The one before that I was 8 months pregnant in the summer so I was told to wear whatever I could fit into and would pass out from the heat in. Before that I was a child so didn't choose my outfit.

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 12:02:13

Wouldn't*

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 12:06:59

And do you really think I don't know it's not a christening or a wedding? Really? My family are in pieces and I need to be able to pull myself together to support my mum and dad and other family members. I just want to feel a slight boost of confidence from what I'm wearing in the hope that it gives me some strength on the day. Thanks for that though.

Floisme Fri 21-Oct-16 12:08:15

I've been to a fair number of funerals and I've regularly seen people following the coffin wearing something a bit more visible/flamboyant, often because it has a personal connection with the deceased.

monkeywithacowface Fri 21-Oct-16 12:12:57

Mumsnet is full of dickheads Storm who seem to think it's necessary state the obvious and simultaneously tear a strip off someone for no reason other than just because they can.

Conventional funeral dress has changed a lot. Ten years ago DH's mum tore a strip of him for wearing a navy suit to his Grandad'.s funeral and sent someone out on the morning to buy him a black tie. She made a real fuss about it and made DH feel awful. When his nan died a couple of months ago he was worried about upsetting his mum again and went out and hired a black suit. He was literally the only one there in a black suit and tie. Even his mum and dad weren't wearing one single item of black clothing hmm

LimpidPools Fri 21-Oct-16 12:18:47

I think you should wear what you want to wear.
And I don't think the trousers are too flashy, especially if the top of them is covered by your top. In fact I think they're a lot more discreet than a patterned top and there's something traditional, sombre and churchy about the fabric.

Do remember, whatever you wear, you'll probably never wear it again because it will always be "the thing I wore to X's funeral." It's a small consideration with everything else that's going on, but worth bearing in mind.

burnishedsilver Fri 21-Oct-16 12:34:00

If you are part of the family, wear whatever helps you get through the day. flowers

The question would really only be relevant if you were a bit further removed.

Stormwhale Fri 21-Oct-16 12:51:45

Thanks for the helpful responses. I have gone off the trousers anyway after reading the reviews. Apparently they are like a cheap leggings material. Leggings are definitely not what I want. I'm going to the shops tomorrow so I will look properly then. Thank you for the help.

monkeywithacowface Fri 21-Oct-16 13:26:59

Hope you find something that makes you feel strong flowers

Kr1stina Fri 21-Oct-16 13:38:42

If the dress code is black and there are no other details then it's a traditional funeral and your shoudl wear traditional funeral clothing . That means smart, conservative and dark. Nothing tight or sexy, no short skirts , sleeveless tops , towering heels or plunging necklines . No evening wear, nothing shiny, lacy or sexy.

Most people are not trying to draw attention to themselves or give themselves a boost by wearing something makes them stand out . But if that what you want to do and you have the support of the chief mourners , then go for it .

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