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I'm fat and hideous - what would suit me?

(31 Posts)
SmileAndNod Mon 05-Sep-16 16:37:33

I'm struggling with my weight and none of my clothes fit. I don't really have a budget for clothes but saw this dress in the DP sale and thought it might do for autumn. I could weep. I look so awful. I am officially old and fat and frumpy.

Any ideas as to what I should wear? What would suit my hideous shape? Ideally I would like to get back to how I was but I think I'm stuck being big now and need cheap replacements for practically everything apart from pyjamassad

Any help or suggestions would be great. I just feel a bit yuk and not myself.

WuTangFlan Mon 05-Sep-16 16:43:22

I don't think you look bad! But I would suggest:
* avoid small "fussy" patterns like on that dress
* Something longer would create better proportions between your top "half" and the bottom and accentuate the waist in a good way
* ditch the belt, or tie it behind the dress to cinch it in a bit, iyswim

anametouse Mon 05-Sep-16 16:46:24

Erm ... You aren't fat at all! You might want to consider the way you are talking to yourself ...

albertcampionscat Mon 05-Sep-16 16:47:19

You aren't hideous. You're actually rather a nice shape.

dementedma Mon 05-Sep-16 16:49:53

Well if you're fat and hideous, God knows what that makes me. You look great!

mumofthemonsters808 Mon 05-Sep-16 16:51:58

I think you are underestimating yourself, you don't look at all fat or hideous.

melibu84 Mon 05-Sep-16 16:52:22

I think that dress actually really suits your shape. Don't be so hard on yourself!

WuTangFlan Mon 05-Sep-16 16:53:54

Looking at what else DP has on offer, I'm not sure it's you, rather than them producing hideously unflattering outfits!

Acunningruse Mon 05-Sep-16 16:55:13

Is this a joke? You look a size 12 at most hmm If you honestly think yoi look 'fat and hideous' perhaps you are suffering from some form of body dystopia, otherwise one might think starting this thread and posting a picture was a shameless attempt to garner compliments...

Ornacia Mon 05-Sep-16 16:56:37

What Acunning said.

Acunningruse Mon 05-Sep-16 16:57:41

Body dysmorphia... Stupid autocorrect.

WuTangFlan Mon 05-Sep-16 16:58:58

Should read "I'm sure it's not you" in previous comment...

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay Mon 05-Sep-16 17:01:28

You look great. That pic was NOT what I was expecting after reading your OP.

Loads of people on here are a similar size, I bet loads of your friends or colleagues are too. Would you say the things you've said about yourself to them? Would you even think them? I'd bet any money you wouldn't.

absolutelynotfabulous Mon 05-Sep-16 17:02:25

Christ on a Crumpet! You're not fat! And definitely not hideous.

Anyway, if I were you, and it really bothers you, I'd echo what pps have said and stay away from little ditsy patterns and tight sleeves.

I'm about the same size and sometimes feel dumpy/fat in which case I wear a long line cardi over a long line vest with longline jewellery and heels and I instantly feel slimmer.

Lorelei76 Mon 05-Sep-16 17:03:59

oh dear
if you are fat then I am an elephant

ye gads
I speak harshly to myself sometimes because I used to be a size 8 but even now I don't refer to myself as fat and hideous

SmileAndNod Mon 05-Sep-16 17:10:40

I see fat when I look in the mirror and my clothes are definitely telling me the same. I have put on about 3 stone in the last year and a bit. I think partly due to not looking after myself (not eating healthily, drinking too much wine, being too scared to exercise) and partly my AD medication. I am depressed, though no longer feel suicidal as I did at Christmas.

I just feel a bit lost I suppose. Am happiest in my pyjamas with the world outside but that's not really going to help is it? Could really do with some (cheap) inspiration

polyhymnia Mon 05-Sep-16 17:19:02

Definitely not fat and hideous. Like others, I think this dress doesn't do you any great favours - too short for a good balance, sleeves cut in the wrong place, itsy-bitsy pattern, belt not right. The general flaring at the waist shape suits you, but that isn't a good example.
I'd take it back and get a refund/exchange for something nicer.

Euphemia Mon 05-Sep-16 18:15:35

I'd kill for a waist. Even at my slimmest I've never had a waist. You look lovely!

Runningupthathill82 Mon 05-Sep-16 18:23:53

Take the dress back. You are a million miles from fat and hideous, but the dress does you no favours.
What you need is a couple of pairs of decent well cut jeans that will go with everything. On a budget, Next cigarette cut are v flattering.
You have defined collarbones and I think v neck t shirts, or Bardot tops, would show that off.
Don't be so down on yourself!

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Mon 05-Sep-16 18:38:21

You do realise that you've just insulted most of the people who came on here to try and help you! I thought, well I'm pretty chunky, maybe I can help here, but when I click on and see you looking like that it makes me feel like shit. Thanks! grin

Maybe you need to stop being so harsh on yourself (and by extension anyone who isn't a size 8) and just try a few different things on at the shop. If you're used to being thinner and everything looking amazing on you, you may have to reset your expectations about shopping.

HorridHenrietta2 Mon 05-Sep-16 18:45:30

Until you stop referring to yourself as fat and hideous nothing.
As in, no clothes you buy will stop that voice in your head telling you you're fat and hideous.
Please stop referring to yourself this way.

shovetheholly Mon 05-Sep-16 19:02:18

smileandnod - I understand what you were trying to say in your OP. There is a mental view we have of ourselves (in terms of weight) and when the reality doesn't match up, it is really hard. You feel suddenly like your image isn't 'you', that the person you're projecting into the world doesn't look how you think you ought to look. This happened to me after a lot of illness and surgery changed my body in all sorts of ways and I have found it surprisingly disorientating, in spite of the fact that I'm honestly not very vain and spend a lot of my time gardening in scruffy clothes.

It doesn't matter that other people don't think you are 'fat' by other scales, because the scale you are measuring against is quite personal. You're not fat, by the way, not at all, but that's not the point. I understand the 'loss' you're talking about. Growing up I was a size 4/6, and being a 12 to me feels physically and mentally upsetting. (I did have an ED so that is in the mix here too).

I have one recommendation and it's: don't avoid shopping, even though it can be quite a painful experience. I have done this and ended up with a bunch of clothes that make me feel even more shit about myself, which actually demotivates me further from taking the action I need in terms of exercise and eating better. I'm a similar shape to you and I know now I need to avoid fussy clothes that have bows, frills, tight fits and especially waist ties or a cinched waist because that accentuates the part of me that feels most 'unlike' me. Instead, I am looking for simple, severe clothes that are loose under my boobs and drop to my upper to mid thigh, which I wear over leggings with low heels. I just bought a couple of tunics at Cos and they are amazingly flattering. I feel good about myself for the first time in ages, and that's actually motivating me to exercise and get out and about more. I think there's a bit of a virtuous circle here! smile

GeneralBobbit Mon 05-Sep-16 19:13:56

You're fat-ter, not fat.

Your problem is your head. Ffs stop being so horrible to yourself.

What IS the point of treating yourself like this?

That dress looks fine. You look fine. Now relax smile

SmileAndNod Mon 05-Sep-16 19:39:25

Honestly I wasn't trying to insult anyonesad

I've been bigger than this. Pre DC I was a size 18/20. I've always felt big and have never looked amazing. Ever. After DC1 I dropped to a 16, then 14 after DC2 and then a 10 after DC3. Actually at this point my friends became worried about me as none of this was with dieting. However even at a 10 I still felt I was big. I can't explain it, and it might not be how the outside world see me but it's how I feel I look.

I'm currently about a 12 top 14 bottom and it's hard to know what suits. I will take your clothing suggestions on board. I think the work on my thinking might take a while longer...

TriniRedVelvet Mon 05-Sep-16 19:43:01


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