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De-hairing and teen DDs

(11 Posts)
CreamTeaFor4 Fri 02-Sep-16 11:30:16

My DD is almost 14, she dances and does the usual sports at school. She's not alabaster pale, but she is fairly pale with dark hair. She has quite hairy arms and legs - it's fine but dark.

I'm not as hairy as she is, so I've not gone through the angst she has. I don't know what to do, where to draw the line!

Since she was 12, she's used creams to get rid of hair on her legs (calves, up to get knees). I helped her because she was becoming self conscious and unhappy about being hairy and in a swimming costume at school.

She then moved on to using my epilator (I occasionally do my legs during the summer) and today she tells me she's been epilating her calves and her thighs. She now wants to do her forearms.

She is self conscious about the hair on her arms, she would like to get rid of it. She says all her dancing friends do it.

Is this something I should allow or dissuade? Is an epilator or cream or perhaps even waxing? the best way forward?

I'm afraid of what this might mean - the beginning of a life time's battle against oneself and trying to achieve a modern day impossible ideal.

Or do I just need a grip and accept it's her body and she's growing up? I'm afraid she'll turn into a "hairless freak" (her words).

I want her to be happy with herself. I think she is beautiful and I don't think she needs to de-hair her body to such an extent.

What do you other parents do? How do you handle this issue? Help!

angeldiver Fri 02-Sep-16 11:33:34

It seems to be a thing of the times.
My dd (14) shaves every 2 days. She really, really isn't that hairy but there's no telling her.

I wonder when hair became such an abhorrent thing?

Cakescakescakes Fri 02-Sep-16 11:35:02

I didn't have problems with hair as I'm so fair but I remember a girl in my year who had very dark hair and wasn't allowed to remove it by her mum. The teasing she got (especially from the boys) was incredible and she really suffered from it. I would support your daughter. Confidence and self esteem are so easily damaged at that age.

carrie74 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:03:39

My DD11 has always had very hairy arms which were commented on by a boy at school a few years ago and since then she'll only wear long sleeves when seeing friends her own age sad.

I've tried using the IPL machine on her but it's not made any impact. I'm worried about her arms being stubbly so don't want to shave.

Watching with interest.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Fri 02-Sep-16 12:08:33

As you let her shave other areas I don't see how you can logically say no to arms! If it's her body hair and she respects her body and is body conscious then she should be allowed to maintain it to her specifications!

suit2845321oie Fri 02-Sep-16 12:10:40

You absolutely shouldn't stop her removing her hair. Get her arms waxed, I've done it for years and it's much less painful than waxing legs. Hair can be so embarrassing and make you feel so self conscious, why put her in that position?

SeagullsAreLikeThat Fri 02-Sep-16 12:11:59

I have the same problem and was always so self-conscious, especially about my arms. I hated Summer with a passion. Now I bleach them and honestly, you can barely see the hairs, especially in the sun - it genuinely does just seem to make it almost invisible. My hair is really dark and yet I will now happily wear short sleeves. Is this an option?

MumiTravels Fri 02-Sep-16 12:42:53

If she wants to get rid of arm hair direct her to a way that's not going to leave stubble and shaving rash. At least epilating or waxing will minimise that.

RosieWithTheGoodCreditHistory Fri 02-Sep-16 13:03:31

I've shaved my arms since I was about 15. They do get stubbly but because the hair is so fine it's really not noticeable so I only do it about once a week

GobblersKnob Fri 02-Sep-16 13:10:41

I have really hairy, light but actually curly it's so long, hair on my arms, I cannot imagine removing it, I have had comments a couple of times but I like it so not bothered.

If she really wants to get rid of it them I would let her, as she will probably did it with or without your permission, but I would want to talk to her first about body hair and that it is very normal, their is a huge anti-shaving thing happening atm, one of my closest friends is in her early twenties and has stopped removing any body hair, maybe you could tap into that vibe? There are loads of people posting pics on instagram etc.

PikachuSayBoo Fri 02-Sep-16 13:22:38

Dd is 15yo and occassionally does her arms with cream. I think only because one particular girl in her year keeps telling her she should. I think if your dd is self concious about it then buy her a big tube of hair removal cream. You may find as she gets older and more confident/less botherd about others she may well stop.

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