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If you fled your home - new wardrobe

(26 Posts)
Cockblocktopus Sun 28-Aug-16 10:41:59

Dear Mum has left her arsehole h and is about 6 hours away from getting on a plane to come live with me gringringrin

He was financially abusive and she has very few clothes with her.

If you were starting from virtual scratch, were in your early 60s and were moving to very casual Perth in Aus (where it is not quite Spring) what would you buy?

Very sad for my lovely mum but so thrilled she is out.

InTheDessert Sun 28-Aug-16 11:08:56

Well done your Mum!!
I think I'd Google capsule wardrobe (mature capsule wardrobe???), as that would give a good start which can be added to over time.
Personally, I go for trousers, so would just buy several pairs of those. But realise I'm unusual, so couple of pairs of trousers, couple of skirts, couple of dresses. Half a dozen tops (mix of tee-shirts and shirts), some jumpers, or knitted tops. Couple of pairs of shoes/boots, and some scarves/necklaces or other accessories that I never wear
A decent handbag.

Hope you Mum has a fantastic time once she is settled with her wonderful daughter flowers for you both.

RickOShay Sun 28-Aug-16 11:10:30

So pleased for you and your Mum grin. I would let things sink in a bit before going shopping, but I do think she should get something extravagant just for her. What about some scent or lovely make up? Duty free beckons.

dementiawidow Sun 28-Aug-16 18:47:04

Ooh I am your actual lady here! 1. I did exactly the same thing (left an abusive partner, with nothing) and 2. I used to live in Perth (so I know what people wear there). I'm not her age, but I think when it comes to casual clothes people wear much the same whatever their age. In Perth, my mum, who is her age and on a pension, manages to dress amazingly well from Target. There's a lot of dross, but if you are careful you can buy well. A couple of pairs of nice jean, some long sleeve tees, and a jacket to get started. Underwear and so on. Then gradually build up once she's over the trauma. Initially, you just need survival wear... stuff to get into in the morning, go to the shops, go out for a coffee. So keep it really simple, casual and easy to wear. Then once she's settled, you can start to help her re-find herself and her style, because that has probably been smashed to bits, along with her self-esteem. You can't rebuild it in a day, so basically get some things together so that she just has clothes to put on and feel good in, then have some lovely mum and daughter time rebuilding a life and a style and a sense of self for her. Good luck to her.

ImperialBlether Sun 28-Aug-16 18:52:32

Shame she can't ask the police to go to the house with her to collect some things - is it too late for that?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 29-Aug-16 00:52:36

Wow. Your mum is amazing and a fantastic inspiration to others going through the same thing. That there certainly is light at the end of the tunnel.
For just starting out
3 summer dresses
A pair of sandals/shoes
A light cardigan
3 pairs of bras
3 pairs of knickers

Cockblocktopus Mon 29-Aug-16 04:28:28

Thank you all so much flowers

My wonderful brother drove 2.5 hours each way on Saturday with her to get her stuff and was gutted that she had virtually nothing. She has been wearing his clothes because he won't let her buy anything sad angry. She doesn't even have a bra.

Yy to needing to find her style again dementia and thanks for posting your experience. Well done for getting out yourself!

Imperial police took him away Friday night so she was able to get in on Saturday without him being there.

Thanks again. She is somewhere over the Indian Ocean right now so well on her way!

ICJump Mon 29-Aug-16 05:20:36

Millers is quite good too. There is a fair bit of tat but they have really lovely cotton shirts. this sort of thing would look nice with trousers or a skirt

GoldFishFingerz Mon 29-Aug-16 05:35:05

Google capsule wardrobe

Project 333

Artandco Mon 29-Aug-16 06:11:58

I would probably wait mainly so she can go shopping herself for a change and get properly measured for stuff like bras

But to last a few days maybe pick up some basics:
- 5 pairs underwear
- pair pajamas
- few plain tops

dementiawidow Mon 29-Aug-16 09:30:01

Lighthouse it's winter and quite chilly in Perth at the moment! So not summer dresses (yet).

SanityClause Mon 29-Aug-16 10:04:47

If you have a bit of money to spend, I would go to a department store with a personal shopping service.

First, I would get a bra fitting done, and buy maybe 3. That will keep her going for a bit, and they are easy to hand wash. Also, some comfy knickers.

Then on to the personal shopper.

I would get nice fitting jeans, and the personal shopper should be able to advise on nice ones for her figure, and a couple of casual tops to go with. They can play around with tops that suit her shape, as well. I would also get her something a bit more formal, like a skirt or some trousers, and a blouse, or a dress suitable for job interviews, or other more formal settings. Maybe a blazer. But just the one outfit at this stage. But something she feels quite smart and confident in. Then a sweater, and a light coat, or rain coat.

For shoes, get a pair of funky trainers, and a pair of smarter shoes which work with both the more formal outfit and the jeans.

Once she has those clothes that look lovely on her, she can go out and get cheaper things from time to time, and experiment with her own style as others have suggested.

But some guidance to start with, so she gets clothes she looks and feels good in would be a really good start.

And flowers for your lovely mum, and for flowers for you for being such a loving daughter to her.

Dowser Mon 29-Aug-16 14:02:54

What a horrible man he sounds . Well done your mum for having the strength to leave.

TheForeignOffice Mon 29-Aug-16 14:16:38

Best linen trousers I ever bought are from Big W - I have 3 pairs!!!! Started buying in Big W when moving through pre-post preg weight and never looked back. Before that I turned my nose up and missed out on some great clothes at great prices.

Obviously, there's a lot of rubbish too, but basic T-shirts, linen trousers, camis and the like are perfect...also cheap knickers and a decent bonds bra...certainly your mum can get a capsule wardrobe from scratch for a couple hundred aussie dollars.

Best of luck to you both and well done to your mum for getting out.

MitzyLeFrouf Mon 29-Aug-16 16:15:05

Well done your mum. You must be over the moon she's left him. And she's lucky she has such a supportive daughter to go to!

Cockblocktopus Wed 31-Aug-16 14:59:01

Not sure if anyone is interested in an update but we went shopping today in Target. She bought:
- 1 long sleeve Tshirt
- 4 short sleeve tshirts
- 1 nice top
- 2 pairs trousers
- a pair of soft track pants and hoody
- 2 pairs of Pajamas
- a gillet thing

She is absolutely thrilled to have some lovely nice new clothes. She has comfy new clothes that fit. They look super.

grin she's like this <----

Thanks lovely s&bers

Pestilence13610 Wed 31-Aug-16 15:04:02

That sounds brilliant, a good comfy set of basic she can add to as she recovers.
Well done you and DB.
Inappropriate hugs to DM

InTheDessert Wed 31-Aug-16 15:51:40

Great. Have some wine to finish off your day.

hownottofuckup Wed 31-Aug-16 15:56:28

Lovely update OP smile good luck to you and your mum (and well done for getting out!)

hippydippybaloney Wed 31-Aug-16 16:04:59

This has given me the warm and fuzzies! Well done to your mum and she's lucky to have a daughter like you.

midnightmoomoo Wed 31-Aug-16 16:05:57

flowers for your mum!!

PaddingtonLoverOfMarmalade Wed 31-Aug-16 16:17:18

Well done to your mum. She deserves to be happy.

kittybiscuits Wed 31-Aug-16 16:37:05

She doesn't even have a bra - this brought tears to my eyes. flowersflowers for your Mum and to you for helping her.

Madbengalmum Wed 31-Aug-16 16:43:27

Brilliant, glad you are both happy and mum is able to start a fresh. I wish you both good luck and happy times together! Xx

Cockblocktopus Thu 01-Sep-16 01:10:28

Awwwe thanks all. flowers

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