Is it true that when you get older it is best to have pale / soft hair colour ?

[ginorwine]

That really .
Been copper/ red or aurburn all adult life
Hairdresser said it was looking harsh and needed to go softer
I'm 50 with cool colouring and blue eyes with blond brows - was white blond as a child
Most people agree that the blond with a natural base is soft but a lot of them also say the red is ' me '
Some days I miss the red but on others I recall that I felt a bit mad with red hair at my age and a but student y / trying to hang on to my lost youth !
I feel confused !
What I do feel is that my eyes look brighter with the old red due to contrast whereas with the blond they too look softer ie less noticeable .
Any advice Wd be really welcome . Thanks .

[Floisme]

Your skin tone does normally change along with your hair colour which is why trying to keep your hair the same shade as when you were 30-something very rarely works. For what it's worth, I'm pale and was very blonde as a child too and I don't suit really strong, harsh colours. They overwhelm me.

However a bright, not trying-to-look-natural shade of red - that might look good, especially if it suits your personality too. Vivienne Westwood (I was talking about her on another thread today so I must have her on the brain) had her hair like that for a while when she was in her 60s.

On the other hand, if you've had it red all your life, maybe it is time for a new look? I sometimes find my friends - much as I love them - can be a bit lukewarm when I'm thinking of trying something new and sometimes I just say 'fuckit' and do it anyway.

So basically I'm no help at all, sorry But on the whole, I think change is good and if it's hair, what's the worst that can happen?

[ginorwine]

Thanks flo !
Have lost the red and have a neutral base with blond hi lights
The hair looks pretty in isolation but it's so soft by my face I feel drab !

[Floisme]

I'd give it time. If you've had it red all your adult life, it's going to take a bit of getting used to. It's like whenever I choose new specs, I spend the first few days thinking, what have I done?! Then I settle into them.

Is there another way of adding a bit of colour and drama to your look?

But if you can't settle with it, go back to what feels like you.

[ginorwine]

I've had it for two months now .
I don't understand it - was desperate to change it ! I guess I just feel that my colour doesn't reflect who I am - but that I'm not sure if I'm 'allowed' to be who I am now if that makes sense !

[SilentlyScreamingAgain]

I think that the narrative in the beauty industry towards middle aged women is similar to that of the wider world, that we should be neither seen nor heard. We should be wearing nuturals or, at worse, pastels and fade away as much as possible. Many women have internalised this idea, cut their hair into styles that don't suit them and start wearing clothes that make them totally indistinguishable from one another, I once lost my mother in M&S because of this practise.

I'm happy to admit that red hair isn't really found in nature during middleage because redheads tend to fade a bit but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have red hair, that it doesn't suit you or that it's not the colour you're most comfortable with. I guess you have to ask yourself is you care that people know you dye your hair more than you enjoy looking at yourself in the mirror with red hair. On the other hand, you could try a few highlights around the hairline as a compromise.

Good luck.

[niminypiminy]

Of course you're allowed to be who you are! That's the whole point!

Perhaps go to a different hairdresser and explain how you feel. I find that sometimes hairdressers get a fixed idea of what they think you should look like and it's almost impossible to change.

There are lots of possibilities. You could go bleached white - very dramatic - you could add some red strands through the neutral colour, you could try one of the many pastel shades - pastel copper would be lovely - or a more metallic shade. There are loads of possibilities and the thing is to keep experimenting. You definitely don't need to stick with hair that doesn't feel like you - though you might find that there's a slightly different you waiting to be found.

[ginorwine]

Silently
I laughed out loud about your mother in m and s
I have a hatred of one faction of m and s - it's the per una fun button cardigan of some years ago .
That aside -you raise Intresting points !!!! Thank you .

[ginorwine]

Nimi
I love the sound of pastel copper !!! How do you get that ??
My hairdresser showed a colour chart - nothing like it on there .
I have strong facial features and intrestingly I had a white / fake grey badger streak in it once with the red ( to see if grey Wd suit me ) and it did . I'm white grey at frount but a dark ish at back and Wd go grey if all over grey.

[ingeniousidiot]

I tried that - my hair is naturally very very dark, but with blue eyes and very fair skin. I started to lighten the shades I used to hide greys (I'm 44) but have gone back to the one nearest my natural colour and look much better for it.

[ginorwine]

What is a metallic shade ? Intresting !

[MrsCampbellBlack]

I think the main reason hairdressers suggest going lighter is that as people go grey it is much easier for re-growth to blend in. If you want to stay red and are going grey then you'll need your roots doing every couple of weeks which is a big commitment.

Also takes a very skilled hairdresser to get good stronger colours that don't look blocky.

I have seen women with a sort of apricot colour which looks nice - a sort of half way house I guess.

[SilentlyScreamingAgain]

I found it difficult but I've finally accepted that neither George Cloney nor Madonna are going to show up and throw themselves at my feet with desire and there is some power in that acceptance. As I am no longer the amazing love godess I was until 48, it sort of doesn't matter what I look like as far as other folks are concerned, I only need to please myself. I currently have blue hair and no one has noticed, no one is looking or they are frightened of making eye contact in case they catch the menopause.

[niminypiminy]

Something like this?

[MrsCampbellBlack]

Am giggling at 'catch the menopause'.

Helen Mirren has done the going grey thing very well - her hair is that sort of blonde/grey blend.

[ginorwine]

Have looked at apricot and copper - love them !

[Floisme]

Oh dear it sounds like they may be trying to sell you the 'less is more at your age' kind of shit.

Sorry, I thought you'd only just had it done, If you've had it like this for a couple of months and it still doesn't feel right then it's not right for you.

[MrsCampbellBlack]

this type of colour.

I knew obsessively watching CSi years ago would come in handy one day even if not for solving a crime

[ginorwine]

Mrs - love lots of those !!!!! Thanks .

[ginorwine]

I forgot to mention I wear my hair in a beehive ! 😳Maybe strong colour / Intresting shades go with that but nit blond .
My work nickname is patsy from Ab Fab .

[SwedishEdith]

Totally agree with Silently - if you're skin colour is fading, why help the race to being ignored by letting your hair colour fade away as well? I like Janet Street-Porter's hair, both cut and colour.

[cheeseandmarmite15]

I had black hair for years.

As I got older I looked more witch like!

Even a dark brown was too draining!

Cherry colours and reds stopped suiting me as well.

A warm conker/chestnut suits me much better now I'm 50.

[herecomesthsun]

Mary Portas is a statement redhead of a certain age though isn't she? And very stylish with it.

[BestIsWest]

I'm 53, had blonde highlights for 30 years and have recently gone much darker (probably closer to my natural colour). I look much better.

[Floisme]

Your hair's in a beehive?!

I've always wanted one.

[ginorwine]

Tis easy .
Do it .😄