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What age did you start really noticing signs of ageing? And, any tips to make it slightly less depressing?

(131 Posts)
Trickymoments Thu 25-Aug-16 17:01:31

I'm 41 & would say that when I had my 40th birthday it was like the ageing switch was turned on!

I have always looked young for my age and my dh says I still do but I
don't feel as confident about my looks anymore. My skin is drier & occasionally spotty and I can see jowels and a turkey neck appearing!
Also the one or two grey hairs i had appear to be breeding!

I am conscious I need to make more effort to exercise too now but fitting that in is a juggle.

Any other 40+ year olds feeling similar?
I realise it's an inevitable natural process but it always seemed such a way off!

lasttimeround Thu 25-Aug-16 17:20:22

Think of all the things you didn't know at 30 that you know now. Puts a smile on my face guaranteed. Bit of a wry smile tho

Truckingalong Thu 25-Aug-16 19:15:54

I'm about to turn 45 and I'm ageing rapidly now. Have managed well so far but the inevitable is kicking in. Trying to focus more on my weight, shape, tone, fitness and health now. Looking in the mirror less helps too!

OlennasWimple Thu 25-Aug-16 19:17:35

I'm lurking for all the tips: I'm 38 and in the last six months have noticed a rapid change from "looks younger than she is" to "looks her age". Which is not the worst thing in the world, but it has happened so fast I'm still adjusting to what a world with a crepey chest and jowls will be like for me

Trickymoments Thu 25-Aug-16 19:21:30

I've also noticed my feet are more knobbly, I can hardly find any sandals to fit comfortably!

Middleoftheroad Thu 25-Aug-16 19:24:20

Probably in last two years. 43 now. Always had a baby face and fortunately no major wrinkles etc. However...
Hair about 60 per cent white so bleached it from brown and it doesnt suit
Spotty dry skin that goes red flush now when somebody talks to me
Eyesight was always fine. In last 2 yrs gone downhill. Lazy eye now drifts. Look like Mad eye Moony
Weight hard to keep off

Look and feel at my worst arghhhhhh

ggirl Thu 25-Aug-16 19:25:43

I started noticing my saggy upper arms around 45 , then when I went thru the menopause i noticed the collagen dropping off in my face but not drastically.
I am now 54 ..couldnt give two shits .
I am happy with the way I look..

I nurse dying patients ..so it puts things into perspective , and I don't mean that to sound sanctimonious , it actually helps me deal with ageing

Trickymoments Thu 25-Aug-16 19:31:31

ggirl I totally get what you're saying & would never want my post to come across as vain or like it's the worst thing in the world as I fully realise it's not.

I guess I just always thought of
myself as young & would look at my mum as 'old' when she was 40 and now that's me.

Nothing wrong with growing old gracefully - I'm just looking for ideas to make the best of myself. I already have arthritis so just want to help myself really to make the best of it.

nobodyreallyknowsme Thu 25-Aug-16 19:40:16

I'm 42 and feel in the last 2 years it's really coming now and I can see more fine lines... Tried Botox once and had major side effects so never again. Like someone else said I'm focusing on keeping toned and strong in gym and good hair and make up and eating way less meat now also

nobodyreallyknowsme Thu 25-Aug-16 19:41:25

Forgot to say tho- I hate it and can't believe it's happening to me...I am still a looker tho and can turn heads stillsmile

Trickymoments Thu 25-Aug-16 19:44:53

nobody what do you find best for toning & strength? This is something I need to do much more of.

TealGiraffe Thu 25-Aug-16 19:49:13

You'll probably think i'm being daft but i'm 30 and i really think i've aged over the last couple of years. I have a couple of tiny wrinkles around my eyes, but i just seem to have lost that youthful glow i took for granted through my twenties.

I just look a bit dull, i require more make up now! My skin itself isn't bad it just seems to not have life in it any more.

Floisme Thu 25-Aug-16 19:52:00

It accelerated in my 50s and started coming at me in all directions. My main tip would be not to worry about wrinkles - they're a piece of piss compared to some of the other stuff.

I'd like to say I don't give a shit but I'm still vain. But I really hate the way we obsess about aging. I quite like this article, particularly this: The biggest compliment you can give a woman is not “Well done on that PhD”, but: “You don’t look your age.”
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/24/at-what-point-are-women-allowed-to-look-their-age

It's true that you become invisible but it can be quite liberating. I still love clothes and I'm much more adventurous about how I dress cos I figure no-one's looking anyway.

And what ggirl said. Some of my friends are already dead or in poor health. You start to think about your own mortality and it does put your looks in perspective. (Some of the time anyway!)

bumpetybumpbumpbump Thu 25-Aug-16 20:02:25

Just look after yourself and treat yourself well and ride it, it's going to happen.

Try and nurture the other beautiful side of you-be warm and kind and friendly and glow from withinsmile

I noticed after each child a steady decline grin

Trickymoments Thu 25-Aug-16 20:04:47

Yes that's true bumpety, I only have 2 dc but have definitely aged quicker since having the 2nd one😀

ElspethFlashman Thu 25-Aug-16 20:12:42

TealGiraffe I don't think you're daft as I vividly remember 30 being the age where I stopped looking tired just after a big night caning it in town, and started looking tired....all the time. That was the beginning of my under eye concealer obsession.

I remember about 3 years ago, someone thinking I was 26 (was actually about 38/39) and I was so used to it I was actually unphased.

I don't think they'd make that mistake now. sad

I think a certain coarseness happens. It's hard to pinpoint, but you start to look ruddy and more practical or something. Like a sensible shoe in face form.

I keep fighting though! Buckets of the aforementioned under eye concealer, and have started highlighting my cheekbones like a bloody YouTuber. If I can't look younger, at least I'll look fresher!

TealGiraffe Thu 25-Aug-16 20:18:27

Ha that's my tactic too elspeth whack on the make up!

I too require lots of under eye concealer, you're right i just look a bit more worn in. Not the fresh faced youth i was sad

I look great when i fake tan and do my face though grin

Nettletheelf Thu 25-Aug-16 20:29:52

I've just turned 45. My face is fine (hurrah for oily skin) and I have a few grey hairs but haven't resorted to the Clairol yet.

The change I've noticed in the last year is that I've started to gain weight around my middle more easily. Middle aged spread!!! So I've realised that I'm going to have to try harder, I.e. eat fewer nice things, drink less and run more. What a swizz.

BadlyDrawnBuoy Thu 25-Aug-16 20:44:07

Running, weight training (with heavy weights), retin A, hair dye. That's helped to sort me out!

lasttimeround Thu 25-Aug-16 20:45:31

I want to be a real oak of a woman - deep roots and big branches. Getting there is hard as the bit between being a fresh bendy sapling fades and you haven't yet got to majestic. It feels kind of nondescript.
Water, sleep, movement, but better than all that: grace. Really. And screw em all with their lotions and potions. I am not afraid.

RitchyBestingFace Thu 25-Aug-16 21:32:52

I was fine at 40 - I was pregnant and had that lovely glow. Pregnancy is quite youth-enhancing anyway. It was 42 where I started to decline - I don't have any grey hair yet but I have got a hardened face, a tummy and the beginning of jowls. I don't have any great tips - exercise, water, stay in flattering light and never let anyone take your picture. Oh and always have a 22 year old hairdresser so your haircut doesn't date you grin

I do agree with Flo and Ggirl though - enjoying and accepting your age, whatever it is, is so important. Getting old is better than the alternative.

I know Chuck D isn't your usual S&B maven but I liked what he said in the Guardian the other day.

I’ve never seen so many 40-year-old teenagers in my life. You can be youthful and full of youth, but don’t be a fool for youth; this society tries to make you hang onto your youth by any means necessary. But in doing so you forgo responsibilities and accountabilities of what makes you an elder.

More and more, I like the idea of being an 'elder'

rainbowglitterunicorn Thu 25-Aug-16 21:45:14

I'm 31 and was looking in the mirror earlier thinking fuck my boobs are heading south! When did they get so saggy?
That's 4 kids for ya! Luckily they can be hidden to all but Dh and I with a good bra but I can definitely see that I'm not getting younger

budgetsbonus Thu 25-Aug-16 21:51:44

ooh, a hot topic for me this one! honestly, i think when pregnant with dc2: full time work 30 miles away, a crap sleeper for dc1 and a stressful job.

so, aged 31! i had grey starting to pop through at the front, eyes more sunken with bags and weight sticking to hips. fast forward 5 years and no improvement!

mumofthemonsters808 Thu 25-Aug-16 22:03:59

I think thirties are great for women, forties sees age creeping in and fifties are bloody lethal.Having seen so many people struggle with their health, I try to not get too hung up on it. I keep myself relatively fit, but I have a limited budget regarding pampering, I have my hair and eyebrows done and I have a basic skincare routine. Oh, and I keep regular dentist appointments. I'm sure if I had more time and money I'd look 25.

ginorwine Thu 25-Aug-16 22:15:33

Last time
Do you mean move with grace or grace in other aspects ? Curious ! 😄

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