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Boob or bust - what am I doing wrong??

(22 Posts)
teaandcake789 Wed 03-Aug-16 12:34:34

Don't want to post in the Facebook group as one of my work colleagues is an admin (awkward!) so trying anonymously here instead.
I know my bras don't fit. I know I'm wearing the wrong size and after reading rave reviews decided to try the boob or bust calculator. Followed the instructions and measured properly and it came out with a 30HH. Ok I'm currently wearing a 36DD but as I said I know it's wrong so thought I'd trust in the calculator since it seems to be getting it right for so many people. Ordered a bra from bravissimo, the tiger lily bra if that makes a difference, which arrived this morning, I've tried it on and omg no, just no. The cups are far too big but the band ..... The underwires were just crushing, and I mean crushing, my rib cage. It was so incredibly painful. There is no way I could wear it.
What am I doing wrong? how is everybody else getting their perfect size? Where do I go now?

daftbesom Wed 03-Aug-16 12:54:24

If you have the possibility of going to Bravissimo for an initial fitting it might be best. TBH the backs are supposed to be tight - but not painfully so! But at least if you are there you can insist on going up a back size to see the difference it makes. Good luck - it makes suchhhh a difference wearing the right size of bra.

teaandcake789 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:02:55

Nearest is 50miles away so would be a full day trip with 4 kids in tow (3 of which are boys! We looked around debenhams yesterday and they were daring each other to pull down the knickers on the models shock )

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble Wed 03-Aug-16 13:07:39

Have you scooped armpit boob and stuck it in the bra , was the bra on the loosest setting , they do relax after a couple of wears and it could be that your used to a bra thats far too loose

teaandcake789 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:20:34

Ok tried it on again. It's not the tightness that's the big issue its wear the wires dig in to my ribs in my cleavage. Maybe I need non-wired bras to begin with? Or will that ease with a bit of wear? Maybe better posture is needed?
Now I've tried it on again i realise the cups fit perfectly when I'm leaning over but when standing upright the top half is really loose and baggy. Is that down to the style of bra?
Maybe I should give it a week and see

Branleuse Wed 03-Aug-16 13:26:16

wires dig into my ribs if im wearing a cupsize too big, so maybe go down a cupsize and up a band size. Try a 32GG or

BobbinThreadbare123 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:30:28

I also have humongous boobs with a small back measurement, and I find Bravissimo bras to be extremely uncomfortable. They dig in really badly. I stick to Freya or Debenhams' own DD+ range.

You could put it in the washing machine. I know people say not to but I always have and it's never destroyed any.

dreamingofsun Wed 03-Aug-16 13:34:40

i booked a fitting at john lewis and we tried lots on to get the right size. even then some of them just weren't comfy because of the syle. it took about 45 mins though, so not the sort of things u would do with kids in tow

Dollybird99 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:38:24

Hi. I don't know if it will help...but I used to work in Contessa many moons ago and did a bit of bra measuring...! I would suggest going down a cup size and up a back size. If the bra is too loose or baggy at the top when standing then that suggests the cup size is too big. And the bra should not be so tight that it hurts, but also not too far away from the middle of your chest.

The reason they fit when you are leaning over is down to gravity...and your boobs kind of filling what they're in IYSWIM... :-)

Hope you get on OK :-)

teaandcake789 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:46:04

Thank you for all the advice. Dh told me earlier he may have a day off next week so I think I will leave the kids with him and go and try some on in debenhams

DianaT1969 Wed 03-Aug-16 13:56:24

I'd agree with others that you could try going down a cup size and up a band. I've tried most brands (34G) and find that Freya feel less restrictive and more comfortable for me. Some moulded Freya styles (think t-shirt bras and plunge) are baggy at the top of the cups however - whereas the same size in a balconnet fits perfectly. Presumably this is due to fullness at top of breasts - or lack of it. Basically choosing a style which suits where the most volume is on the breast.

MrsJamesFraser Wed 03-Aug-16 13:58:30

Do you have a Boux Avenue near you? I am a 30FF and they have a fair number of styles in my size. I've always found the girls who work there to be really helpful and patient in getting you fitted properly.

Diddlydokey Wed 03-Aug-16 14:03:10

Ideally you will order a


Just try somewhere with a great returns policy. When you put the bra on, put your arms through the holes and pull it up, then bend over and put your boobs in and then secure the back on the loosest setting so you can tighten it.

Then stand up and flatten the central bit to your chest and put all of the boob in the cup. I think there's a bit of training required for the flesh.

teaandcake789 Wed 03-Aug-16 14:11:42

There's a boux avenue at bluewater so may be able to tempt the family into a day trip there. Alternatively I could always just pop across the channel to see how those stylish French do it wink
I've decided to exchange the bravissimo for a 32GG to see how that feels. I'm not prepared to forfeit the £3.95 I spent on postage yet

DontCallMeBaby Wed 03-Aug-16 14:25:22

That method is coming up very small on the band. My 'so tight it feels like the tape might snap' underbust measurement is 28.5", and it's giving me a starting size of 28K. I know it's a starting size, but it's half an inch smaller than a very, very tight underbust measurement.

That said the cup size is spot on - if I go up two band sizes and correspondingly down two cup sizes (hm, not counting HH, cos that doesn't always exist) I get exactly what I'm wearing (32H, brand new, on the middle hook, and I would NOT want it 2" smaller, let alone 4"!)

So I reckon the 32GG you've ordered now is a better starting point, but you could yet end up with a 34" band. Of course it could be the style - my current bra of choice is Panache Porcelain balconette; the plunge version doesn't just look like it doesn't suit my shape, it looks like it doesn't fit.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 03-Aug-16 14:28:30

can you put it on backwards? How does it feel? If not too tight, don't go for bigger band, but try different styles and brands instead. For example I can't wear Panache as the wires are too narrow and high even in the correct size, but need Freya and fantasie with wider, shallower wires. Curvy Kate again is already too wide for me.

Branleuse Wed 03-Aug-16 15:23:27

if youre small of rib cage, it doesnt always work to pull it extra tight. That only works usually if youve got padding on your rib cage to push down. If its on skinny ribs, youll just be suffocated.
I measure 29 under, so in theory I could wear a 28, but a 30 is a better fit. Allows me to do stuff like breathing

Also if youre going to debenhams, then their own brand gorgeous range is lovely, and comes in loads of odd sizes, but ... their sizing is a bit crazy and you need to try it on and expect to have to try all the sister-sizes too. I usually take at least a band size up in debenhams bras, than I do in freya or cleo

AuroraBora Wed 03-Aug-16 18:27:46

You might be like me and be a bit bottom heavy in the boobs. I can't wear moulded cups that cover too much of the boob or I end up with empty bra at the top. Balconettes and lower cut styles fit me a lot better.

frenchfancy Wed 03-Aug-16 18:32:10

One style cutting in at the wires does not mean the size is wrong, just that that style is wrong for your shape. You need to try on 4 or 5 different shapes as well as some different makes to see what works for you.

frenchfancy Wed 03-Aug-16 18:33:13

Oh and don't bother coming over the channel, I buy my bras in the UK as I can't get small back/large cup sizes easily here.

DianaT1969 Wed 03-Aug-16 18:56:22

I wouldn't choose Boux Avenue for my first decent bra fitting. They aren't fuller bust specialists and a few token styles bigger than a D cup is all I saw when I was in there.

noys Sun 28-Aug-16 12:08:08

Honestly it sounds like the band is too tight. Bra bands generally stretch to about the same length as the band size so the band size should be chosen based on what measuring tape tightness feels most comfortable in an ordinary relaxed position. As far as I know Boob or bust suggest measuring really tight, yielding a too tight band, and then they suggest sizing up in cups to create a more comfortable fit because the outer part of the cup starts acting as the band.

Boob or bust is still taking baby steps in the bra fitting world, they've gone way too far in rejecting the +4 fitting method. Bra bands shouldn't be as tight as they possibly can be, they should be just as tight as needed.

Feel free to send me a message if you want to explore alternate bra fitting resources with a lot more experience and a lot more emphasis on comfort than Boob or Bust.

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