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Feel Crap About my Hair

(15 Posts)
Icequeen01 Thu 28-Jul-16 22:20:32

I'm 55 and starting the menopause. My hair is just killing what little confidence I have left in myself. Sorry, I know that sounds dramatic but I am honestly getting to the point where I dread going out. I have always had very fine hair but there was always plenty of it and it used to be shiny and in good condition.

Nowadays I'm probably 95% grey and have my hair coloured professionally every 5 weeks and cut at the same time (I'm not ready to go grey yet!) My hair feels dry even though I condition it after every wash. I know I shouldn't wash it every day but my hair honestly looks like a birds nest when I get up and no amount of damping it down will get it back into a style. To get any sort of body in it I use the Babylis Big Hair heated brush and my hair can look quite nice when first styled but it now reacts to the slightest humidity in the air. I can literally sit at work and feel my hair texture start to change. Not only does it frizz but it becomes scraggy and flat and I end up looking like a scarecrow.

I use lots of products on my hair each day to try to help. I use a heat protecting serum I buy from my hairdresser, Argan Oil and a styling mousse. Once a month I give my hair a deep conditioning treatment so it is not as though I am not trying.

I have to tie my hair back when it starts to frizz but because it is fine I have lots of short bits (even though my hair is a shoulder length bob ) and I end up looking like a mad professor. Also, tying it up makes me look quite severe so it's not a great look.

I'm so upset tonight as my husband made a comment about my hair tonight which wasn't very nice. This has upset me so much we have just had an argument about it. I think he feels bad now but he can't take it back and I'm so upset and know I'm going to be even more self conscious.

Is there anyone else out there in the same boat that has any suggestions of what I can try/do?

jackstini Fri 29-Jul-16 08:36:53

Sorry to hear how you are feeling and hope your husband has apologised :-(

Have you tried Olaplex? Your hairdresser can incorporate it in your colouring and then there is a stage 3 to use at home

If you are brave, put a pic on to see if anyone can identify better what to do

gingerbreadmanm Fri 29-Jul-16 08:46:04

i know you say you use argan oil from the hairdressers, there is a brand called moroccanoil. There oil is lovely.

what is it that is upsetting you, that it is dry?

HectorAndKiki Fri 29-Jul-16 08:51:55

In the same boat .... smile. Just wondering if you are using too many products on a daily basis and getting too much of a build up on your hair? I use a clarifying shampoo at least once a month before doing a deep condition - could try doing that. Otherwise no other advice, but will be watching this thread closely as well.

Socialaddict Fri 29-Jul-16 09:22:44

I also have fine hair and how you are describing yours really resonates with me. I find Argan oil not good for mine. It weighs it down and makes it greasy much quicker. My hairdresser recommended Lisup products which I am now using and loving. The hair is much shinier and feels so much healthier and better. Check out their website. I also wash it every other day with shampoo and only put mask and rinse on the days in between. I found this works really well for me and having had short hair for the past 20 years, I now feel brave enough to grow it a bit!

gonegrey56 Fri 29-Jul-16 09:35:40

I feel for you, as I am also suffering post menopausal dreadful hair. I also have fine but (used to be ) plentiful hair.
What has worked for me is the following:

Kebelo hair smoothing treatment at my hairdresser every 100 days
Moroccan oil on towel dried hair
Fine highlights to build illusion of thicker hair
Hair supplement tablets (Viviscal maximum strength)
I have invested in a Dyson hairdryer, absolutely brilliant, give my hair a good 5 minutes on the cold blast at the end and I have swishy hair all day !

A lot of financial investment but I have cut down on other expenditure to make my hair look better .

Do try the Kebelo treatment if you only take one of these steps .

You are not alone !

il0vew1ne Fri 29-Jul-16 09:47:20

I am in exactly the same position as you except I have lost about 50% of my hair.
The doctors say there is nothing wrong, I am so depressed whats left is so frizzy and it breaks easy.
I have taken all the supplements known to man and nothing has worked, changed my HRT so many times.
I really feel for you and hope you find a magic cure (wish I could)
Big hugs

Lemond1fficult Fri 29-Jul-16 09:51:07

I have the same flat, fine hair as you (though in my 30s). I use Kerastase Resistance shampoo, conditioner and blow dry cream and it makes a big difference to the shine and strength of my hair - they also do one especially for older hair called Bain Age Recharge. Like socialaddict I wouldn't use an oil, as it would weigh my hair down.

What really does work for body is Batiste dry shampoo - I use the normal one on my fringe and parting when it's a bit lank (usually about 3 hours after washing hmm). I also use Batiste XXL on my roots if I want a bit more volume - just a short burst, then rub in with my finger tips. It's dead cheap and the one thing I'd not be without.

WottyMcWottFace Fri 29-Jul-16 09:54:41

I've used NU skin hair Renu.. You can't buy it in shops but it's available online or google it and you'll see some result pictures. I was dubious at first but it worked for me. I've also used Percy and reed wonder overnight recovery, just rub in dry hair at night and in the morning it's eased the frizz and hair feels really nice. I know it's difficult but your not alone ... Try not to let it get you down and tell your husband not to be so insensitive flowers

yes do try a clarifying shampoo once a week, cut back on the products and try to go more than a day before washing if possible. try to cut back on the heated appliances too and just use the oil on the dry ends in moderation. You could try the keratin kit from amazon if you want a straight smooth look. the short bits could be breakage, try sea kelp pills for strength and growth. perhaps think about a shorter hair style and have all the frizzy bits cut off to start from scratch? ask your stylists advice.

retainertrainer Fri 29-Jul-16 17:20:07

My hairs thinned terribly over the years. I've started researching wigs-I just think how easy it would be in the morning to just pop one on,no desperate battles to get volume into it and hide my scalp. I don't know,I'm not there yet but maybe in the future. I'm sure that's not the solution you were looking for! There's a lady on YouTube who wears wigs and she looks amazing.

bawabod Fri 29-Jul-16 18:51:51

I am going through the menopause my once lovely thick hair has almost over night become thin to the point where I have a small bald patch, on top of which it has gone almost grey/white I have always had it coloured but my hairdresser has recommended me to go and see my doctor as I have also recently gone through a very stressful period and also have PCOS, I empathise with you my hair has always been my pride and joy the only part of me that I truly loved, but having lost two people that are really dear to me I am glad that at the moment its only my hair I am losing and I would say to you make the best of what you have if it frizzes use a curling serum that will tame it but maybe emphasise what you have, and dare I say love yourself a little bit more smile

Icequeen01 Fri 29-Jul-16 22:35:52

My apologies for the delay in replying but I have been out visiting relatives down on the coast all day so yet another terrible hair day as we walked along the front and it was drizzling!

Thank you so much for all your replies and I'm heartened that I am not the only one in the world with this problem. I'm also so sad to hear that some of you are suffering so much more than me. It seems so cruel that when most of us are at our lowest ebb during menopause nature decides to play havoc with one of the main things that can detract people's eyes away from all the other changes going on with our bodies.

I cannot thank you all enough for all the tips and recommendations. I will definitely be trying some of the tips and products you have suggested - some of which I have never heard of before. Perhaps I will find a miracle product out there which will help me feel good about myself again.

I also have my hair appointment tomorrow and will have another chat with my hairdresser. I'm really worried that I will start to cry, I just feel so sh*t about myself at the moment. I've got a holiday abroad coming up (another hair disaster!) but I need to recharge my batteries and hopefully get my mojo back again.

Thank you

EnidButton Sat 30-Jul-16 14:18:12

Hair can really affect confidence. flowers

To help cut back on the amount of heat you use, have you tried using a microfibre hair turban? You can get them everywhere very cheaply, just google. I get mine for a fiver from Morrisons. They help dry your hair much quicker without running with a towel and causes damage. Leave it on for as long as poss after washing (or at least 1/2 an hour) and you won't have blow dry it for as long.

Also Phillip Kingsley Elasticizer is very good. You can get a small tube of it from either feel unique or look fantastic so you can try it out. Or use qvc so you can return it if you don't like it.

It is the season for static and frizz though. Humidity can play havoc with hair.

ProjectGainsborough Sat 30-Jul-16 18:19:23

Mine is thinning and frizz prone. Coconut oil masks and regaine have helped flowers

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