What to wear for night out

(28 Posts)
BigDamnNCFail Mon 11-Jul-16 17:46:49

I suffer from anxiety and depression, am pretty certain I'm autistic and I hardly ever go out anywhere (just to explain why I'm in a panic about something so trivial).

I've been invited out in less than a fortnight. This will literally be my third night out since DS1 was born four years ago. It's the birthday of DH's boss's girlfriend (though, she also works for the same company so DH is friends with her as well, if that makes sense?). I believe she's turning 25. She's lovely and I've met her a few times now but she's also very confident and I guess I find her a little intimidating because, despite the fact she's younger than me, she seems so much more 'grown up' than I feel.

The venue is - I think - a club in London. My teen years/introduction to nights out were spent in rural Scotland so that's also intimidating! grin

I have no idea what to wear.

My 'style' is...sort of hippy (If I can be said to have a style) but I'm quite eclectic with clothing I think.

I'm a size 8 on top. Maybe even a 6 sometimes though I have a bit of a 'tummy' these days but I'm very bottom heavy so am probably more like a 12 on my bottom half.

I'm not graceful at all so big heels are a no.

I have dark brown eyes and dark hair, which is really not styled right now. Basically, I decided on a clean slate hair-wise a few weeks ago and got DH to shave my head (not bald - to a 'number nine' or something).

I ordered a dress that looked lovely in the photo despite being dirt cheap but it arrived this afternoon and looks every bit as cheap as it was.

I'm normally quite excited about getting dressed up but I'm just lacking in confidence these days.

Any ideas on where I can start? Style of dress/outfit? General advice? We don't have masses of spare money but DH did do a LOT of overtime last month so we will have some spare money coming in and DH has just ordered himself an expensive piece of computer equipment so I think he'd encourage me to buy something new if I wanted. Online only, though, because I have two young autistic children so shopping is not an option.

peachlife Mon 11-Jul-16 19:09:24

Hiya bigdamn

Will try to help - but of course ignore any ideas at will.

Most importantly you need to feel comfortable in my view...I thought maybe.....a midi skirt....something like this: www.asos.com/ASOS/ASOS-Midi-Skirt-in-Scuba/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6537950&affid=14173&channelref=product+search&mk=abc¤cyid=1&gclid=Cj0KEQjwh428BRCnvcyI-5nqjY4BEiQAijebwucQGWrliV9A0S2_G2hQEvRGlHsxB2xiOd99lUljpbcaAhQS8P8HAQ

Sorry - I don't know how to do neat and tidy linky thingy.....they are forgiving of a more pear shaped lower half. You could then wear something like this:

www.asos.com/asos-petite/asos-petite-deep-fold-bardot-body/prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6714470&clr=Black&SearchQuery=bardot+body&pgesize=16&pge=0&totalstyles=16&gridsize=3&gridrow=1&gridcolumn=2

to accentuate your little waist and torso.

Maybe some wedgies instead of heels?...(much more comfortable, easier to walk - grace not required)...such as: www.next.co.uk/g313238s2#371760

I was out at the weekend and saw this kind of style on a couple of ladies of different sizes and it looked really nice.

I would also suggest getting your hair done before you go out - I always feel so much better when I have salon done hair!.

Hope this helps - and sorry if it doesn't!. You will be fine - good luck smile

peachlife Mon 11-Jul-16 19:10:57

Depending if your hair has grown at all Bigdamn confused. Not sure if a few weeks ago means you still have really short hair - in which case - salon "do" probably not required grin.

AnnetKnap Mon 11-Jul-16 23:00:33

I think you approach a little too seriously to the subject. Sure, you lack confidence, but perhaps it's a good time to do something with this? If your dress is dirt cheap try a little trick which I use in situations like that - wear something sexy underneath that. I should boost your confidence! In such a situation I recommend eg. corset - as you wrote, you need something online: obsessive.com/euro_en/products/corsets-and-teddies - you will feel confident and sexy, even if no one will see. That way you can save your dress and get something extra for yourself

good luck! fingers corssed! smile

IsItGinTimeYet Tue 12-Jul-16 00:40:20

Firstly I am sure a night out with your husband will do you the world of good.

How about a trip to the hairdressers? I bet your hair could be styled into a really nice pixie crop. If your taste is more eclectic and hippyish then go with that but smarten it up a little, it's good to be yourself. A good hairdo, natural make up but with lots of mascara and good brows go a long way!

Emerald green dress with a statement necklace and sandals?
or
This skirt is gorgeous and could be teamed up with either a plain black top or cami. A small heel and clutch would finish the look.

puglife15 Tue 12-Jul-16 07:23:17

I think you need something:

Close fitting to the waist
Flared on bottom half but not too short
High necked to show off your hair
In a darker colour so you don't feel too conspicuous

Will find something fitting the bill and you can tell me what you think.

puglife15 Tue 12-Jul-16 07:31:02

m.asos.com/mt/www.asos.com/French-Connection/French-Connection-Canyon-Sands-Cross-Front-Dress/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6395567&affid=14179&channelref=product+search&mk=abc¤cyid=1&gclid=Cj0KEQjwh428BRCnvcyI-5nqjY4BEiQAijebwg618iaJxbNwZHG1NZbRVQCiU6sBnanpjg5l_W4JNWUaAvmB8P8HAQ

puglife15 Tue 12-Jul-16 07:39:17

www.stories.com/gb/Ready-to-wear/Dresses/Cross_Front_Dress/582938-115395889.1

IsItGinTimeYet Tue 12-Jul-16 08:06:13

Oh that's nice!

BigDamnNCFail Tue 12-Jul-16 09:44:44

Thank you, everyone.

I don't think we can really afford for me to get a new outfit and go to the hairdressers. My hair's still really short, anyway, so not sure how much could be done with it. I have had proper pixie cuts before and still have the fancy spray styling wax I got last time (I went from almost waist length hair to pixie cut but when the owner of the salon found out I was donating the hair she very kindly cut it herself free of charge except for the bottle of spray wax) so I'll hopefully get it looking okay with that.

I had got a little bogged down with the idea of a dress (I think it was a throw away comment from DH about him thinking short hair and dresses looks nice together) so opening up the possibility of a skirt and top combo gives me more options. I always find I have problems with skirts riding up, though. I think it's because of the huge different between the size of my hips/bum and the size of my waist. The skirt takes the path of least resistance! grin

Peach, I do like the idea of something off the shoulder but then there's the dreaded strapless bra issue.

Annet, the dress is completely transparent and the style wouldn't work with a corset underneath, unfortunately.

Gin, the dress was obviously nice as it's sold already! shock

Puglife, the first link doesn't seem to work for me. I do like the second but that also causes bra issues. I used to be confident enough to go braless but since having children I do worry I can't pull it off anymore (despite DH's insistence to the contrary, bless him).

BigDamnNCFail Tue 12-Jul-16 09:52:18

I need to nip out later to drop off a repeat prescription at the GP and will go past a charity shop I can check out on the offchance they have something nice (they have tiny cars for 10p each so hopefully I can bribe the boys to let me browse for a few minutes).

I actually found a dress I love in there last time I went in. I considered wearing it for this night out but thought it might be a bit too...I don't know...gaudy?? I know what I like but sometimes my taste seems to be super expensive and other times dirt cheap. I'm not sure if this dress looks really cheap and DH's work friends are very middle class.

0dfod Tue 12-Jul-16 10:10:34

If you have problems with skirts riding up you may find wearing a slip helps, I tend to wear slips and stockings to stop this problem.

0dfod Tue 12-Jul-16 10:13:47

If you are worried about looking gaudy then go for simple accessories, such as an understated necklace and a pashmina, classic shoes, gentle makeup etc

IsItGinTimeYet Tue 12-Jul-16 11:19:12

I have this and it is super flattering. V back dress The black with simple gold acessories and sandals looked fab out for drinks with friends last weekend. Elegant but not fuddy duddy and super good value!

IsItGinTimeYet Tue 12-Jul-16 11:21:43

It's down to £12 now. Plus you can wear a decent bra too.

peachlife Tue 12-Jul-16 20:58:13

Hey Gin - what's the dreaded strapless bra issue?.

You could go for a slightly different style of top for a skirt if you prefer to wear a bra with straps:

www.asos.com/Club-L/Club-L-Long-Sleeve-Wrap-Front-Bodysuit/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=6243920&cid=4169&Rf989=5016&sh=0&pge=2&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Black&totalstyles=403&gridsize=3

Can completely understand that you may as well save pennies from the hairdresser if your hair is still short. Do you fancy getting your nails done instead?. Hands or maybe toes if you are in sandals....or invest in some nice new nail polish and fake tan and do your own?. Just suggestions bigdamn - they are just things that help me to feel a bit of confidence when it may be lacking.

BigDamnNCFail Tue 12-Jul-16 22:02:28

Okay, I've done something rash. I sent DH some links to dresses I like earlier to see what he thought to them (as this is MN and I know what this place can be like even away from AIBU I should point out I don't run everything I wear by DH and he would never try to dictate to me what I should wear - I just wanted a second opinion) and it was clear he liked the idea of something snug. I was browsing on Amazon as I find it easy to navigate.

I ended up panicking a bit when Amazon was telling me I needed to order something within 10 minutes to get next day delivery (I don't know why because I don't need it for tomorrow confused).

So, I've ordered a dress totally unlike anything mentioned on this thread. blush

It's sort of purple/pink/burgundy (if that makes any sense whatsoever - it's all one colour so imagine mixing those colours together hmm). And lacy...

IsItGinTimeYet Tue 12-Jul-16 23:17:47

We need a link! grin
I often ask DH's advice, it's normal!

BigDamnNCFail Wed 13-Jul-16 07:16:41

You know what MN can be like sometimes; I didn't want an innocent thread about an outfit for going out to turn into a load of LTB comments! grin

Okay, but it's much...pinker than I remember. I'm also panicking about what shoes I could wear with this colour. Having googled endlessly it looks like the advice is nude or pewter would be the best bet. Not colours I'd normally wear shoe-wise.

www.amazon.co.uk/Miusol-Womens-Vintage-Sleeve-Bodycon/dp/B01AJL5AYA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

HopeArden Wed 13-Jul-16 07:27:44

I really like it. Beautiful colour

ScarlettDarling Wed 13-Jul-16 07:40:36

The dress is really pretty and a lively colour. What size did you order though? If you're an 8 on top and a 12 at the bottom I can imagine it must be difficult to get a body con dress in the right size.

I think a midi skirt and plain little top like these from New Look would really flatter your figure.

ScarlettDarling Wed 13-Jul-16 07:41:17

I did mean lovely colour not lively ...

BigDamnNCFail Wed 13-Jul-16 08:20:57

Scarlett, I normally order about an eight for dresses (so they're not huge on my top half) and they normally fit fine but then they tend to have looser skirts. This one might end up too tight on the bottom half. I guess it depends how stretchy it is.

It should arrive today so I can try it on and might even be able to post a pic (though, the closest we have to a full length mirror is a few mirrors hung together in the bedroom). Hopefully, it will fit and I'll still be able to walk!

BigDamnNCFail Wed 13-Jul-16 08:21:53

Would shoes like this look okay or way too clumpy and big? I'm trying to find something I think I might be able to walk in.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BI73FLE/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=JFRBILUENR4C&coliid=I3FUG95IZXBJCL&psc=1

BigDamnNCFail Wed 13-Jul-16 08:23:18

Or these in the grey or nude?

Only problem with these and the ones in the last post is I have a tattoo winding round my ankle so it will stick out the top and bottom...

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01H5I1YG8/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=JFRBILUENR4C&coliid=I3IWYLW11OF9QB

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