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getting married in six weeks, and I look like crap

(23 Posts)
appalachianwalzing Thu 19-May-16 21:24:38

I've had a really tough year in lots of boring usual ways - redundancy, serious family illness, multiple unplanned house moves. Wedding date set before any of this happened and I feel like I've suddenly woken up, realised I'm getting married in six weeks and I now feel v v sad I won't look my best.

Main problems are:

Skin- I have pcos and intermittent acne which is playing up atm. Shadows under eyes and fine lines - 11s and the start of marionette lines. Also getting increasing redness around my nose which worries me as my mum has rosacea.

Was acid toning for a while and thought I was starting to get on top of the spots but feel like I overdid it as things went v haywire: I'm now scared to try something new but what I'm currently using (micellar water and lush moisturiser) isn't really working.

I had thought about going to a dermatologist but now it's just too close. An old roommate raved about IPL (not the hair removal kind) which generally improved her skin condition so was tempted to try that but again not sure about reaction. Is there any other kind of salon intervention that's not a fortune (can cope with up to £150-ish) that could make a difference?

Nails: I bite them. I thought I'd stop- I've done it before but not for v long. At this rate I guess I'll just have to get press on ones and hope I don't pick them off, which I've done for other people's weddings.

Shape and tone: I'm v sad about this. I damaged my rotator cuff over Xmas and have been waiting for t to heal- it's a lot better, but I still get pins and needles in my hand and can't do any exercise that involves moving my shoulder or I end up in pain for days. Well, I can't swim, or do yoga: I've started cycling to work and I'm a bit stiff but not in agony. I'm s size 12 and it's not about losing weight: I'm an hourglass shape and weight goes to my upper arms (currently v flabby, and noticeable in cap sleeves wedding dress) and my tummy and thighs. I'm in worse shape than usual and I really wanted to be at my best for this dress.

I've previously done the shred which was amazing but I worry anything with weights would aggravate it again. If anyone has any magical ways to tone the upper arms without damaging the rotator cuff that would be amazing.

Everything else: friends got eyelash extensions. Someone told me about some amazing substance you out in your face so you photograph well (?!) I feel like there are bridal tricks and wonders that I don't even know I don't know.

Ultimately, I don't know where to start, or what's possible in a short timeframe. I've looked at the princessing threads but there are so many steps, and there's still so much wedding left to organise I don't know how much time I have. I caught sight of my reflection in a shop window on the way home and thought how old and haggard I look (I'm 33!) and suddenly realised that everyone will be looking at me and the photos will be on or parents mantelpieces for the next 30 years. At my friends' weddings, they have glowed and looked their best- toned, happy, and everyone says they're glowing because they're happy bu lt I also know they've usually also had their teeth whitened/a personal trainer/etc. I love DP and don't want people thinking I look tired or sad on my wedding, but not sure how to stop that happening.

hollinhurst84 Thu 19-May-16 21:30:57

Skin - try efflacar duo + for the spots. Mine was horrendous and it helped and didn't make it worse. Hydraluron or hylamide can help the fine lines and also if your skin is dehydrated
Photos - NIOD photography fluid. Mix with your moisturiser and it gives a really nice glow and look good in pics
I can't remember if you mentioned teeth but anyway! For stain removal, White glo toothpaste, I use the smokers one. Won't make any whitening promises but it shifts stains if you have any

hollinhurst84 Thu 19-May-16 21:33:38

Oops more to add!
What went haywire with the acid?
I would be tempted to say as well as the efflacar duo, to swap the micellar water for a gentle hot cloth cleanser

SnuffleGruntSnorter Thu 19-May-16 21:39:00

Speak to your GP about the spots and how it's getting you down, they may consider a topical antibiotic or androgen-suppressing contraceptive pill.

Semi-permanent lash extensions made a huge difference to my face - but try them now and get them re-done before the big day as places vary.

Other than that your photographer will choose the most flattering photos so don't worry about toning if you don't have time. Get a light spray tan, it'll make you look lighter without the effort.

A good make up artist will make all the difference.

Finally.... Once you walk down the aisle I suspect you won't give a crap about anything else - I didn't!

SnuffleGruntSnorter Thu 19-May-16 21:39:58

Oh, try the smash box photo primer and don't have SPF in your wedding day makeup as it reflects the light

hollinhurst84 Thu 19-May-16 21:41:09

I keep thinking of things! Omega 3 if you can take it can really help skin, and cheap too

appalachianwalzing Thu 19-May-16 21:42:24

So I actually reacted quite badly to effaclar duo- initially I thought it was helping and was v happy with it, I figured I was 'purging' as it seemed my skin was cleared but after four months I stopped as the actual acne bits - the two weeks a month I was getting spots- were getting worse, more cycstic, and more prone to scarring. So instead of a few spots, turning into quite a few spots a couple of weeks around my period it was two weeks clear skin then intermittent nasty cycstic lumps.

The acid toning similarly eventually seemed to lead to spots that weren't going away and I started to worry I was getting melisma on my forehead so I stopped in case I was damaging my skin long term.

I should definitely go back to a hot cloth cleanse though, I used to do that and it was positive. And will look into both the photography fluid and toothpaste. Thanks for getting through the epic self pitying post!

colouringinagain Thu 19-May-16 21:44:00

All this plus simply drink 2 litres of water a day. Does make a big difference!

MrsFlorrick Thu 19-May-16 21:44:22

If you think rosacea is starting there are various things to try and none of these will aggravate even if they don't help much.
Dermalex cream. Buy from boots. Worth a go.
Or go to the GP and see about the acne and potential rosacea. It may be worth a short course of antibiotics which should shift it in time.

You can modify the Shred exercises and adjust them. You can actually google it. There is advice on my fitness pal. I got some from there a couple of years ago after I hurt my elbow but was midway through Shred.

Perhaps try a BHA or AHA type acid rather than glycolic. BHA is supposed to be better for acne anyway.

Sorry you've had a rough year flowers things must be on the up for you as you're getting married smile.

DriveMeToTennessee Thu 19-May-16 21:46:26

Sorry you've been through a rough time flowers

You definitely still have time, 6 weeks is ages to make a difference.

I'm sorry I know nothing about excercise, I'm sure others can advise! If I was in your position though, I would cut out all alcohol/caffeine- stick to water, eat plenty of fruit/veg, cut out junk. Really dull and obvious but will help with any excercise you do, and will make you feel better. Will make your skin brighter.

Have you tried la Roche Posay or Acend skincare? I find them both to be very good quality. I use la Roche posay effaclar duo which is quite good used every day for helping with spots... I'm not sure if it would aggravate any redness though. I like the avene gentle cleansers as they are very non irritating. What make up do you use? I like mineral foundation as it seems to actually help heal spots. You mention the lines- for a quick fix and fir your wedding what about that genie line serum stuff, I've seen it on qvc before... Gets rid of them instantly, temporarily of course grin

You have time to sort out your nails... put handcream and nail oil on as much as possible and it will help, and even if you can't stop biting your hands and cuticles will be better and you could get really nice gel nails done for your wedding.

Go for a hygienist appointment and try whitening products- it will make a difference. Use nice bath products- body lotion, foot cream every day. New makeup etc. It's all basic but every thing adds up and makes you feel better IMO.

DriveMeToTennessee Thu 19-May-16 21:48:34

Sorry for X post- just seen you didn't get on with effaclar..

twocultures Thu 19-May-16 21:53:10

I'd definitely book a makeup artist for the big day but remember to do a test run of the makeup you'll have a few days beforehand to make sure it's ok. You'll be amazed at what makeup can do! (Trust me I know)
About the general condition of your skin I'd see a beautician and see what they suggest. Professional treatments can work wonders if you need quick results (and they don't have to be super super expensive).
Spray tan is a good idea too.
I'm sure you'll look wonderful anyway OP!

shirkingworking Thu 19-May-16 22:16:18

Ah... I bet you don't look as bad as you think at all! All great advice but my top one would be to stop using micellar water straight away. You need to cleanse you face gently but properly. Micellar water is great when you get home at 2 am and can't be faffed or are camping but it's probably not getting every bit of make-up and dirt off. If you like rinse off ones, try Avene - you need the one for sensitive skin as you don't want to aggregate the spots. Actually, Avene do nice creamy cleansers too. And I'd go to a good dermatologist about the spots asap. 6 weeks is long enough to make a difference. And take high dose omega 3! BUT I bet you look great already and you'll be the only one who really notices how bad your spots are. Good luck!

SpoonfulOfJam Thu 19-May-16 22:19:13

Cut out bread and pasta. Waist will feel a lot slimmer.

appalachianwalzing Thu 19-May-16 23:16:40

Thank you: lots of great advise. Will start on the omega supplements, and actually consider going back on the pill for a short while- my skin was lovely on jasmine. I came off it as we were planning on TTC after the wedding but we've agreed to push that back a few months just so we can enjoy things having settled down a bit so it might be worth doing it for 2 or 3 months and it could have a positive affect in time.

Will def Google modified shred exercises as I've found it really positive before.

And try and focus on the positives: you're right, I'm sure hair and makeup etc will make a huge difference, and at the end of the day I will feel really happy (not least because the wedding day will mean I don't have to plan a wedding anymore!)

BabyGanoush Fri 20-May-16 06:45:34

I always think stressed out skin benefits hugely from being left alone

No cleansers, no make-up, just wash face with water in shower. Or better even, don't wash face at all. Or every other day.

See a GP for the acne, there are ways to treat it.

rubybleu Fri 20-May-16 07:36:11

Book a good makeup artist for your big day. Prior to my wedding at the end of last year, I was suffering from big red patches all over my face due to undiagnosed skin allergies and rosacea. I looked horrible.

I look blimmin' MARVELLOUS in my wedding photos. My skin looks perfect and radiant - a good makeup artist can hide a multitude of sins. If you are getting married near London/Essex I can recommend mine.

If you have a dodgy shoulder then you have my sympathies as I know how hard that makes exercising. I'm not sure that Shred would be OK for your shoulder as there was very little I could do when I recovered from frozen shoulder.

It's six weeks, but doing a low carb diet over those six weeks would likely see your weight come down a stone which would trim your waist and upper arms. I bloat around my tummy and look so much better when I've decreased carbs.

Summerxsunx Fri 20-May-16 08:27:40

In a hurry so haven't read the full thread.

But 6 weeks is actually a long time to get yourself wedding day ready so don't panic!

Skin- sorry don't have that much experience with this but could you try going to the Drs, say you're getting married in 6 weeks and that you need to try and get your skin as clear as poss? I remember my brother got put on some good antibiotics when he suffered with acne and within 3-4 weeks of taking them his skin had dramatically improved.

Teeth- PLEASE go onto the Crest website and order yourself some whitning strips. They literally work wonders within a week and you'll be amazed at the difference a white smile can make!

-YES, YES to both eyelash extensions and a spray tan. Do not even consider getting married without these things wink

Weight- Start doing a diet/ fitness plan on my fitness pal now. Also, try the 5:2, it really does work and you only have to 'diet' for 2 days of the week. This, coupled with some exercise a couple of times a week should shift some weight.

Good luck and have a fab wedding day! X

specialsubject Fri 20-May-16 10:52:41

if you are going to use a makeup artist, do a trial and see what your fiance thinks. You don't want to frighten him by looking utterly different at the altar! Good makeup is invisible.

comfortable shoes (painful staggerers will show on your face), hair not overdone (you plus a bit) and if the dress sleeves really bother you, a little jacket - but I doubt anyone will notice. Don't worsen that injury, you can stuff up your shoulder for life if you aren't careful.

a happy bride looks stunning and would if dressed in a potato sack - which would be more flattering than what some wear anyway...

have a great day and remember it is only a day.

prettywhiteguitar Fri 20-May-16 11:06:37

I would say go to gp for antibiotics to treat your acne as it can discuss it for treating rosacea if that's what you're getting on your nose.

I would then go to a good dermatologist or IPL clinic as I felt amazing after I had some pigment treated with IPL it tightened my skin and I looked better. You can also ask them about anything that you could have done before your wedding ?

Start with your wedding make up now, you need practice ! I would recommend Laura mercier or Charlotte tilsbury for a natural look and my skin looked flawless in the photos ( and believe me it's anything but in real life !!) but it was very natural and I looked like myself. I think I spent £120 in total. The foundations they recommend for wedding are good for photos as they don't flash back.

Good luck ! I guarantee once you have started to do a few things just for yourself you will feel more positive and look great on your day flowers

maggiethemagpie Fri 20-May-16 21:14:44

I bite my nails to buggery, but just got gel false nails for my wedding. I had them filed quite short so they wouldn't feel too weird after years with no nails, and they were fine.

MadSprocker Fri 20-May-16 21:26:19

A product I find that works for my hormonal cystic spots is Nip +Fab Deep Cleansing Fix. You can put it on individual spots overnight to dry, and it makes my skin calm down. I also really like Vichy Aquailia Thermal Serum. It is really gentle, but plumps up your skin. It is one of the only products I have bought many times, and always go back to. Get gels on your nails, and keep having them done until after the wedding. They aren't great for nails condition, but they will look nice on the day, and if you start now, you can build up length.

mrsvilliers Fri 20-May-16 22:45:33

Loads of useful advice here but adding mine in anyway. I've come and said this before but the brand Elemental Herbology has worked wonders for my skin. I used to get painful spots on my jawline and had the beginnings of rosacea and it clears them both up. My sister was having problems with her skin too and I bought her the oil control starter kit to try. It's around £20 online and should last a week or so which will let you see if it works before forking out. Other than that I second (or third!) the gel nails suggestion. I think they look really chic and put together when on short nails. You have time to try them out beforehand too. Good underwear can help if you're feeling a bit less trim than normal. John Lewis own brand worked well for me. Good luck!

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