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September wedding please help me!

(23 Posts)
momb Tue 03-May-16 13:32:12

Sibling's wedding in September. It will be a well planned beautiful affair: formal but not too formal, everything lovely. They are that kind of couple.
I don't want to let him down but am an academic and haven't dressed well in, well, forever.
I wear black trousers with an assortment of vest tops/overshirts for work. Jeans at the weekends.
Last wore makeup in 2014, before that in 1991 (my two weddings) but really want to make some effort to not stand out at this wedding.
I'm 5'7", size 16/18 depending on style (hopefully 14 by then) Pear shaped but with a middle aged tum, Late 40s, very broad calves, generally frumpy but will get a haircut. I don't want to look more matronly than my Mother.

I looked at this: perhaps with lowish heel cream sandals (no ankle strap) and a bow thing (?fascinator).
Is this too frumpy? Can any of you wise folk advise me please?

momb Tue 03-May-16 13:47:31


Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 13:48:32

No it's terribly middle aged and would make you look rectangle.

I'll have a look.

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 13:51:47

Are you fixed on a long dress?

Calf length is nice and will give you a bit of shape. Spanx too to hold in the tum. You don't need to wear a tent.

Celebrate your body, you'll look beautiful.

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 13:52:50

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 13:55:49

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 13:57:48

momb Tue 03-May-16 14:00:26

Thanks. With broad ankles/calves and a leg shape from always wearing flats I guess I'm a bit self conscious.
Navy isn't a great colour for me. I'm an autumn (or was when I was analysed back in the 80s!). The floral one I like but wouldn't have considered because of the belt, but I do like the shape.

momb Tue 03-May-16 14:01:21

Am I not a bit old to be showing my knees? Am I so far out of date?

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 14:03:20

You just don't need to hide yourself. You'll look bigger with more material. Autumn (Brown's/reds/oranges)??

Do you want to cover your arms?

What about sleeveless but with a nice jacket?

momb Tue 03-May-16 14:06:01

Brown red orange soft greens etc. Not cool colours (sky, navy, mint etc). I'm not finding much.

Sleeveless with jacket is fine.

momb Tue 03-May-16 14:06:21

thanks for your input: I am lost!

leelou905 Tue 03-May-16 14:08:59

That last navy one with white floral pattern is nice.

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 14:21:42

Knees aren't the top of your thigh, no ones going to get all bashful at a 40 something showing her knees.

Go for something fitted to show your shape and maybe a jacket or wrap to give you coverage where you want it.

I've recently (nearly) conquered body dysmorphia. I'm a 12 but have since having DD bought 14/16s as I thought it'd cover me up. It made me look sooo much bigger and have had loads of people comment that they thought I was made earring huge clothes as they just made me look bigger.

MrsLettuce Tue 03-May-16 14:24:43

How about something along the lines of this or this (or maybe this if you fancy floral) with a jacket and flats?

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 14:24:57

So many cool colours about at the moment.

You're probably best waiting a couple of months till you've lost a bit of the weight you want to lose and then the warmer colours will be out for Autumn.

Just remember don't do jersey as it will show everything. Floaty will make you look bigger and just over your knee will be far more modern and flattering.

John Lewis, Debenhams, Phase Eight are always good places to look. Reiss too often do beautiful dresses that fit wonderfully.

momb Tue 03-May-16 14:26:00

oooh: If I buy that, and wear it with the black tights and shoes like the model: how would I dress it (jewellery, accessories, head?

MrsLettuce Tue 03-May-16 14:28:28

Yes, I'm sure you'd look fine with your knees showing. Absolutely fine. It's best to wear something that is at least a bit you though, you'll feel more comfortable, confident and relaxed that way so you'll look better too.

MrsLettuce Tue 03-May-16 14:29:43

The phase8 dress is lovely! They have several in the style AFAIK.

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 14:40:20

Which one do you like?

Twinkie1 Tue 03-May-16 14:44:33

Right black tight not opaque. Low heeled comfy court shoes, black small fascinator, minimal jewellery and a cream pashmina or jacket to just past your waist but nipped in not boxy.

Get make up done st department store. Book a lesson and then you get money you spent on lesson to buy few bits of make up. Do it for morning of wedding if you can.

I bet you'll look beautiful. You are beautiful, just stop hiding it and covering yourself up.

momb Tue 03-May-16 15:19:32

Thank for the advice. Now to stay away from the treats for a few weeks before I commit to buying anything!

MrsLettuce Tue 03-May-16 22:17:12

I just saw this beautiful teal velvet suit in mango. Dropping it here in case it's of interest.


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