Anyone fancy helping me NOT look like I've been bukkaked by Primark on this years holiday?

[TellEmSteveDave]

I have always had an.....idiosyncratic sense of style. And not much money to spend on clothes. It was much easier ten years ago when I did the whole 50's thing (the cropped high waisted jeans + tied at the belly gingham shirts with a flower in my hair kinda 50's rather than Lindy bop) but it's just not 'me' anymore.

I usually end up panic buying a load of cheap boring basics and a few kitsch tops/dresses with pineapples/flamingos/cocktails/cats in sunglasses on them.

I have long since reconciled with the fact that I will never be chic and pared down (and don't really want to be) but I would like to look a wee bit more grown up/put together.

Stats:

35
5'3
10-12 - Good boobs and bum but also fupa. Good (if dwarfish) legs
Quite pale with very cool colouring
Naturally grey hair which will be pixie length by the holiday
Look best in black
Wear makeup/bold lipstick 90% of time
Prefer dresses and skirts to trousers but don't like skater or maxi dresses. Can't wear 'midi' anything.

I like stripey breton t-shirt type dresses but when I try them on 99% swamp me. Also like loose shift style of dresses. I like the idea of a black cotton/natural fabric, short sleeve, loose/slouchy but above knee black dress to wear with nice sandals. That kind of relaxed but stylish is what I want to go for.

Any tips for looks/shops that might work for me?

[AnyFucker]

"Bukkaked" ?

is this normal parlance in polite conversation these days ?

[lemonade30]

I don't know.

Does it matter?

I'm sure there's a board for the linguistic enthusiast.

It's not S&B

[lemonade30]

And to answer the OP I think you should try All Saints.

More pricey than Primark but frequently found cheaply, albeit pre loved on eBay.

Also try Oasis/Warehouse as cheaper alternatives perhaps.

HTH

[AnyFucker]

Language matters a lot.

You are correct, this is the S+B board.

Not really a place to use the most ridiculously offensive terms to describe the most commonplace of subjects just because you can.

[BikeRunSki]

Hush?

[BikeRunSki]

I had to google that. Every day's a school day.

[AnyFucker]

Hey, anyone fancy a chat about the latest moisturisers ? I fancy a bit of that truffle butter myself. I heard it does wonderful things for the beef curtains.

< wanders off shaking head >

[Snoopydo]

Oh great. Just googled as well .

[lemonade30]

Meh.

Offensive is subjective.

I read it as tongue in cheek.

(Shrugs)

Anyway OP, good on you for moving on from the fifties look. I have a neighbour who dresses like Anna Nicole Smith in her Guess heyday, she's late forties and it's not terribly becoming.

I'm glad you won't head down the same ill advised path

[Favouritethings]

Had to google it! Slightly strange term to put in a thread title, but can't say I'm offended.
Have you tried asos?

[IPokeBadgers]

I am in work so am now wary of googling the unfamiliar term....

< misses point of thread entirely >

[JohnCheese]

I googled.....Everyday's a schoolday indeed.

Not sure I agree with the offensive is subjective statement.

[NantucketNightbird]

Too scared to google can someone tell me

[TheJiminyConjecture]

Not sure what it days about me that i recognised 'bukkaked' but not fupa?

H&M usually have some nice basics and summer clothes if you can be arsed to look past the sequinned polyester!

[Jaimx86]

Are you wanting day time or night time outfits, Op?

[MizK]

I feel bad that I didn't have to Google that term

Not quite sure what sort of clothes to suggest as you are quite rigid in your likes and dislikes.
In the evenings on holiday I sometimes like long sleeved cotton shirts with very teeny denim shorts, nice sandals (usually from Office or Warehouse). All Saints is a good call for simple dresses.

[taybert]

I googled but I have new internet with inbuilt parental stuff which I dont know how to switch off so I'm still non the wiser....

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

What a title.

You'd probably be best asking for it to be changed - just because it's either repulsive or offensive (or both!) and it distracts from the help that you want.

Unless you really do walk around covered in a cum facial, in which case, I'd fix that first.

[MissTurnstiles]

It's a term in porn where multiple men ejaculate onto another person, usually a woman but sometimes another man.

HTH.

[Judydreamsofhorses]

Bit more expensive but I think Whistles do the loose shift style well. I have this dress and it is v flattering - I'm a bit taller but same dress size.

www.whistles.com/women/clothing/dresses/lola-dress-20542.html

(It comes in different colours, not just that so,d out one.)

[Judydreamsofhorses]

Oh, and I didn't have to google either - the thread title made me laugh.

[NantucketNightbird]

Good grief why use that term I presumed it meant vomited on innocent

[UmbongoUnchained]

I think the title makes sense. I imagined many people flinging clothes at the poor woman, obviously not jizz.

I'm sure people just stand around waiting to be offended by something.

[LunaLunaLovegood]

I thought OP meant 'buggered' but had a troublesome keyboard.

I went to H&M the other day but it was full of youngsters and nylon. I need flattering and breathable fabrics at my age.