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Anyone fancy helping me NOT look like I've been bukkaked by Primark on this years holiday?

(77 Posts)
TellEmSteveDave Wed 06-Apr-16 22:57:29

I have always had an.....idiosyncratic sense of style. And not much money to spend on clothes. It was much easier ten years ago when I did the whole 50's thing (the cropped high waisted jeans + tied at the belly gingham shirts with a flower in my hair kinda 50's rather than Lindy bop) but it's just not 'me' anymore.

I usually end up panic buying a load of cheap boring basics and a few kitsch tops/dresses with pineapples/flamingos/cocktails/cats in sunglasses on them.

I have long since reconciled with the fact that I will never be chic and pared down (and don't really want to be) but I would like to look a wee bit more grown up/put together.

Stats:

35
5'3
10-12 - Good boobs and bum but also fupa. Good (if dwarfish) legs
Quite pale with very cool colouring
Naturally grey hair which will be pixie length by the holiday
Look best in black
Wear makeup/bold lipstick 90% of time
Prefer dresses and skirts to trousers but don't like skater or maxi dresses. Can't wear 'midi' anything.

I like stripey breton t-shirt type dresses but when I try them on 99% swamp me. Also like loose shift style of dresses. I like the idea of a black cotton/natural fabric, short sleeve, loose/slouchy but above knee black dress to wear with nice sandals. That kind of relaxed but stylish is what I want to go for.

Any tips for looks/shops that might work for me?

AnyFucker Wed 06-Apr-16 22:59:04

"Bukkaked" ?

is this normal parlance in polite conversation these days ? hmm

lemonade30 Wed 06-Apr-16 23:17:28

I don't know.

Does it matter?

I'm sure there's a board for the linguistic enthusiast.

It's not S&B

lemonade30 Wed 06-Apr-16 23:19:58

And to answer the OP I think you should try All Saints.

More pricey than Primark but frequently found cheaply, albeit pre loved on eBay.

Also try Oasis/Warehouse as cheaper alternatives perhaps.

HTH smile

AnyFucker Wed 06-Apr-16 23:21:09

Language matters a lot.

You are correct, this is the S+B board.

Not really a place to use the most ridiculously offensive terms to describe the most commonplace of subjects just because you can.

BikeRunSki Wed 06-Apr-16 23:23:00

Hush?

BikeRunSki Wed 06-Apr-16 23:24:00

I had to google that. Every day's a school day.

AnyFucker Wed 06-Apr-16 23:25:44

Hey, anyone fancy a chat about the latest moisturisers ? I fancy a bit of that truffle butter myself. I heard it does wonderful things for the beef curtains.

< wanders off shaking head >

Snoopydo Wed 06-Apr-16 23:26:45

Oh great. Just googled as well confused.

VocationalGoat Wed 06-Apr-16 23:27:42

Me too. I had to Google it.
Though the title made me laugh.

I second Hush. I love their stuff.

lemonade30 Wed 06-Apr-16 23:29:54

Meh.

Offensive is subjective.

I read it as tongue in cheek.

(Shrugs)

Anyway OP, good on you for moving on from the fifties look. I have a neighbour who dresses like Anna Nicole Smith in her Guess heyday, she's late forties and it's not terribly becoming.

I'm glad you won't head down the same ill advised path halo

Favouritethings Thu 07-Apr-16 08:46:48

Had to google it! Slightly strange term to put in a thread title, but can't say I'm offended.
Have you tried asos?

IPokeBadgers Thu 07-Apr-16 10:13:54

I am in work so am now wary of googling the unfamiliar term....

< misses point of thread entirely >

JohnCheese Thu 07-Apr-16 10:26:00

I googled.....Everyday's a schoolday indeed.

Not sure I agree with the offensive is subjective statement.

NantucketNightbird Thu 07-Apr-16 10:26:42

Too scared to google blush can someone tell me

TheJiminyConjecture Thu 07-Apr-16 10:30:27

Not sure what it days about me that i recognised 'bukkaked' but not fupa?

H&M usually have some nice basics and summer clothes if you can be arsed to look past the sequinned polyester!

Jaimx86 Thu 07-Apr-16 10:35:44

Are you wanting day time or night time outfits, Op?

MizK Thu 07-Apr-16 10:36:25

I feel bad that I didn't have to Google that term blush

Not quite sure what sort of clothes to suggest as you are quite rigid in your likes and dislikes.
In the evenings on holiday I sometimes like long sleeved cotton shirts with very teeny denim shorts, nice sandals (usually from Office or Warehouse). All Saints is a good call for simple dresses.

taybert Thu 07-Apr-16 10:37:57

I googled but I have new internet with inbuilt parental stuff which I dont know how to switch off so I'm still non the wiser....

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 07-Apr-16 10:43:24

What a title.

You'd probably be best asking for it to be changed - just because it's either repulsive or offensive (or both!) and it distracts from the help that you want.

Unless you really do walk around covered in a cum facial, in which case, I'd fix that first.

MissTurnstiles Thu 07-Apr-16 10:43:29

It's a term in porn where multiple men ejaculate onto another person, usually a woman but sometimes another man.

HTH.

Judydreamsofhorses Thu 07-Apr-16 10:56:27

Bit more expensive but I think Whistles do the loose shift style well. I have this dress and it is v flattering - I'm a bit taller but same dress size.

www.whistles.com/women/clothing/dresses/lola-dress-20542.html

(It comes in different colours, not just that so,d out one.)

Judydreamsofhorses Thu 07-Apr-16 10:57:28

Oh, and I didn't have to google either - the thread title made me laugh.

NantucketNightbird Thu 07-Apr-16 11:10:32

Good grief why use that term confused I presumed it meant vomited on innocent

UmbongoUnchained Thu 07-Apr-16 11:16:59

I think the title makes sense. I imagined many people flinging clothes at the poor woman, obviously not jizz.

I'm sure people just stand around waiting to be offended by something.

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