I need to look like "me" again. Any advice?

[ofcabbagesandkings]

The past couple of years (esp. the last couple of months) have really taken their toll. I no longer look or feel like "me" anymore, and have finally reached the point where I know I need - and am hopefully able to do something about it.

I'm 38, currently size 12-ish - pear-shaped with round hips and non-existant 36A (I think) boobs. Mostly I feel comfortable in my navy chinos or brown cords with Breton tops (cliché I know, but the stripes seem to even me out a little up top). Really like flowery/patterned shirts but have trouble finding something which fits well. Would love to own a couple of nice sweaters/cardigans but have no idea where to shop for clothes that will wash well and last.

Not fond of jeans/jeggings/leggings at all, especially as I've developed a tummy. Also, I made a concious decision not to wear black as it seems to age me even more than my currently terrible skin and developing wrinkles

Really need to attend to my hair. Currently almost waist-length as I haven't seen a hairdresser for a few years. Dark blonde and beginning to grey. Really need to find a style which requires only minimal care, though would prefer something past my shoulders. Any ideas?

Skincare - I'm a soap-and-water person, use moisturiser almost daily but have terribly sensitive skin. I'm clueless about make-up, though well aware that I need to wear something to pass for normal.

Future ventures mean I'll be mixing with folk from vastly different backgrounds to my own (I live on a "council estate", work from home on a low income). Ideally I want to look "polished" but natural. Basic wardrobe, simple quick routines, just to feel comfortable and not like the slob I do now.

My biggest problem is time. Two of my children have autism, and I'm a LP with very little support. Clothes shopping is a very rare treat (unless online) as I have virtually no childcare and my youngest won't start school until September if he gets a supportive place, but that's a story for another thread. I barely have any time for hair/skincare/make-up routines, and clothes need to be functional, wash and last well.

Money is tight, so I'd rather save and invest or buy "gently worn" than go to Primani for basics which may last only a few washes. Unfortunately, I have no idea where to shop or what to look for.

Apologies for the lengthy OP. I realise this is a tall order, and would genuinely appreciate any ideas or advice.

[dragonsarebest]

Didn't want to read and run. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate and I'm sure you look a lot better than how you've painted yourself

What do you like most about how you look now, and what would you like to change? What colours suit you or do you enjoy wearing?

Your hair sounds amazing, but I understand why you'd want to go shorter. Have a look on pinterest or google for some styles/cuts you might like instead.

For your wardrobe, a day to day "uniform" in a limited colour palette would probably work well for you. There have been a few threads on this recently with some really good advice. Doing that also focuses any spending to a few key items, and I am a big fan of ebay for stuff I couldn't justify or afford new.

You mention knitwear - Uniqlo has stuff at good prices (esp in the sale) and is pretty reliable quality, but it would help first to work out what you actually need.

I'm sure others will be along with better ideas soon (not least the bra interventionists)

[ijustwannadance]

Hi op. I'm your age and pear shaped with a tummy. For me personally, the navy chinos and brown cords would be very aging and not the right shape for your body.
I know you don't like the thought of leggings and jeans but they can look great, are easy to wear and relatively cheap.
Dark wash jeggings look great with most things.
Top wise you need things that are fitted on top but loose over tummy/hips/bum. Don't buy tops that finish at your hips as it will make you look bigger. Same with cardigans.
The current trend for the longer length flowing cardi is great.

Hair wise, I would go for a simple cut and colour. Don't go for a big style that you won't have time to keep on top of.