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How do you know what to wear when your shape changes after having children?

(46 Posts)
TheCrumpettyTree Thu 10-Mar-16 12:10:21

I'm a size 12, 5ft 2 with a saggy tummy from having my children. I no longer have a waist, my boobs are now an F cup.

I used to be a size 8, C cup and was tiny (I thought I wasn't, what was I thinking?).

I used Dressipi but it doesn't take into account that I have a tummy and suggests endless clothes that you need a flat tummy for.

I live in skinny jeans and baggy jumpers to hide my shape and feel frumpy. What do I wear? The shops are full of shirts, crop tops and pinny dresses.

How do you adjust to your shape changing? I'm all tummy and boobs. I have no idea what to wear anymore. I'm in a rut.

HeyMacWey Thu 10-Mar-16 12:13:48

Decent shapewear can help.

How long since you had dc's?

ppandj Thu 10-Mar-16 12:19:06

No idea OP I am in the exact same boat. Help!

thenewaveragebear1983 Thu 10-Mar-16 12:22:08

Me too! Absolutely no ideas. I live in the same 2 pairs of jeans and 2 jumpers.

cosmicglittergirl Thu 10-Mar-16 12:44:31

Exactly the same here, two children in two years and my waist has vanished and my boobs are bigger, meaning a lot of my old clothes (8/10) don't fit, but size 12 stuff looks a bit too baggy on the shoulders. I wear thick black leggings and striped tops and the occasional dress with tights and a cardi. I'm thinking of trying Spanx style stuff to hold it in.

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 10-Mar-16 12:50:34

My children are 4 and 18 months.

Littlepig8834 Thu 10-Mar-16 13:20:29

I find high waisted jeans really good, I had my baby 9 months ago and slowly working on getting back to my pre pregnancy shape. I never considered high waisted jeans until reading about them on here. They're also practical as they stay up, no yanking them up after getting off the floor or bending down.

They also hold in your tummy (if you have one) which means you can wear most tops without the dreaded muffin top making an appearance.

Diddlydokey Thu 10-Mar-16 13:24:20

Are you me?! I'm a 12 with FF cup boobs which sound huge but don't look it to me. I only really notice they're maybe a bit bigger when I'm looking for shirts and bikini tops.

Top tip is posture. Shoulders back, hips forward and suck your tummy in. That makes you look better in anything.

I also go for v necks, all the time. Really glad that the high neck fashion is over. I wear a lot of dresses with leggings worn as tights and ankle boots at this time of year.

A size 12 is not huge but having bigger boobs and a tummy is more difficult to dress. I think that baggy tops don't really help whereas a v neck with some ruching (sp?) is much better.

I also like a fairly simple v neck blouse with a jersey blazer and I wear straight or slim jeans mostly as I don't think I look great in skinnies. Kind of like this lady's outfit

mrsmortis Thu 10-Mar-16 13:32:55

Have you had a bra fitting recently? I'd always start by sorting that. I can recommend Rigby and Pella, though Bravissimo is also good. A properly fitting bra makes a huge difference.

The other thing that has worked for me (I lost 4 stone a few years ago which obviously completely changed my shape) is to book a personal shopper session at a big department store. In my experience the stylists can pick things which you'd never consider trying on in normal circumstances and sometimes you can really hit gold.

minipie Thu 10-Mar-16 13:34:49

Reading with interest. I also have a newly acquired spare tyre since DC. Oh and my boobs (not huge to start with) seem to have got smaller rather than bigger confused.

There are lots of clothes out there for people with a tummy and long slim legs. But I have short fat legs so the tummy is a real disaster!

High waisted jeans sound worth investigating, thanks LittlePig. I finally bought some skinnies only to find they ride down all day and give me dreadful muffin tops.

MentalLentil Thu 10-Mar-16 13:35:45

I would really advocate using a personal shopper service. I've done it at Debenhams about 4 times in the last two years since having my dc, and I've found it really helpful, not at all pushy, and very time saving. They bring tons of clothes to a private dressing room, all of it coordinates and I've only ever bought what I really wanted afterwards without feeling at all pushed to buy more.

I may never shop for myself again smile Let the professionals do the hard work!

MentalLentil Thu 10-Mar-16 13:37:19

Cross posted with mrsmortis. Totally agree!

Yakari Thu 10-Mar-16 13:44:07

Start with underwear - I realised how much money I wasted on clothes that never really worked. Now I spend a lot more on underwear and it makes a massive difference
I ditched skinnies a while back - gap
Boyfriend but sized down (I take a 2 inch smaller waist in boyfriends than skinnies) For me the slight bagginess is much more comfortable and much more flattering. I find I prefer them turned up an inch with high tops, or sandals.
Equally I ditched pretty much all tshirt material - it clings whatever you buy it clings! So heavier sweatshirt material, cotton shirts, more 'tops' vs 'tees' again just much more flattering.
And finally tailored Blazers or cardis - again sounds naff but much better than baggy jumpers
Pin interest is your friend - I've lately discovered it so can't make recommendations- I'm sure someone will soon but lots of inspiration to be found

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 10-Mar-16 16:07:26

I'm so glad I started this thread!

I do go to Bravissimo, it's brilliant. That did make a massive difference. But I still look in the mirror and just see boobs and belly.

Wrap dresses are pretty good as they hide my tummy but apart from that I just feel fat and frumpy. I think because I'm short as well I feel like it makes it even more obvious. And getting clothes when you're short is half the battle. I go shopping and end up picking up the same things as I don't know what to buy.

OodleDoodleBug Thu 10-Mar-16 19:32:14

Echoing the previous posters, I just had my first personal shopping experience recently and I've bought things I would never given a second glance or even turned my nose up at. I love opening my wardrobe now, so much choice compared to the previous strops that I had no fecking clothes

cosmicglittergirl Thu 10-Mar-16 21:43:47

Which shops did you use for the personal shoppers?

TheCrumpettyTree Thu 10-Mar-16 21:47:44

Did you feel pressured to buy?

OodleDoodleBug Fri 11-Mar-16 07:18:16

I used Debenhams, I didn't feel pressurised but mine was present for a "VIP" experience so they knew I had a gift card to spend!

WiseToTheLies Fri 11-Mar-16 10:17:15

I feel for you OP.

Exercise and diet will help but good shapewear is a must and I agree with those who suggest a personal shopper.

I tried to book one over the phone at Selfridges in Manchester and they said "oh, we're never busy on Saturday, just pop in anytime." of course they were rammed each time I went up with 'more important customers.' I had a session at my local Debenhams but then of course, the stuff on offer just isn't in the same league. I'm going to try to get one at John Lewis in the next week or so.

MrsFrankRicard Fri 11-Mar-16 10:30:55

I have gained 2 kids but have lost my waist, used to have a small waist, hourglass figure and now it's a thicker waist, I am now a size 12, also have baggy tummy skin and stretch marks from first pregnancy (8 years ago ffs!!). I find that the shirts in the shops just now are good for disguising the tummy, also am going to try the pinnies that you mentioned as they are often not tight on the waist either. Jeans are not really my friend anymore but I still wear some straight cut ones with a bit of stretch, I own one pair of skinnies but they make me look like a carrot.. the recommendation above for high waisted jeans doesn't work for me as I just get a higher up muffin top which looks worse. Agree that things with ruching and wrapovers also help to disguise the mumtum.

BestZebbie Fri 11-Mar-16 12:25:36

Agree with the others - Bravissimo bra fitting, then off to Debenhams personal shopper to try lots of things on until I have an idea of what suits the new shape.

nickEcave Fri 11-Mar-16 12:50:08

Hi OP, sounds like you could be me except I'm 4 foot 11 with G cup boobs - size 12 on bottom, 14 on top thanks to aforementioned boobs. My children are 9 and 5 so I don't think my shape is likely to change now!

In the winter I wear a lot of dresses with thick woolen or thermal tights and biker boots. I get most of my tights from TK Maxx, so good brands like Falke but much cheaper than normal. I find that thick, high waisted tights help to keep the tummy in a bit (and are nice and warm too!) The dresses need to be either woolen or thick jersey material that skims rather than clings. They also have to have a bit of shape as I look like a blob unless I define my waist.

In the summer I wear mostly cotton or linen knee length dresses with cropped cardigans or cropped denim jackets to define the waist and spanx style shorts underneath (again from TK Maxx) which streamline and stop thighs from rubbing (lovely!).

I've completely given up on jeans, but wear chinos and cropped close fitting cotton trousers in the summer. For some reason Next chinos are a really good fit on me

For me the most important thing is defining my waist. I don't think it matters too much if you've got a bit of a tummy and big boobs as long as you go in and out in the right places! The problem with dressing this way is that it's quite hard to dress casually and I often look a bit more formal or dressed up than other mums.

beela Fri 11-Mar-16 17:08:23

I am in a similar situation. I am 5'4'', 32GG boobs, size 12-14ish, and I have an hourglass figure if you look at me from the front/back, but the side profile is not good! DC are 5 and nearly 2.

I breastfed DC2 for 18 months so lived in jeans and baggy tops (for the one top up one top down approach to BF in public), and have only really been back in 'proper' clothes for the last 4-5 months.

I agree that baggy tops are really not flattering, and am following the rest of this thread for recommendations grin

JizzyStradlin Fri 11-Mar-16 20:00:45

What do people mean by spending more on underwear, good bras? I've never tried spanx style pants before, don't like being constricted. Do they hurt towards the end of the day, like tight trousers do sometimes?

looki Fri 11-Mar-16 22:11:18

I am the same as you OP. to be honest I'm sitting here in tears tonight because I'm so down about it. I have to go to something tomorrow. Before I'd have had a choice of clothes to choose from and I loved dressing up to go somewhere. Now I put it out of my mind until the last minute and grab anything because I feel it doesn't really matter. All my skirts emphasise my stomach, my jeans look exactly like a PP described - a carrot - but I could never put my finger on it before. I find tops ok as I wear a lot from Cos which flatter my shape, and in Winter I wear dresses with thick tights, but trousers and skirts put me into a dark place sad

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