Spring is sprung, the grass is ris, I wonder where the crepeys is(1000 Posts)
This crepe is well on board...........
Thanks, herbs - great title.
I really love the title, Herbs. Bloody brilliant. Anyway, I is here.
[basks in warm glow of approval]
I have to teach the Terrifying Teenages for 30 minutes tomorrow. I have taken two days to plan this session. I bet they just say 'whatevs' and play on their phones the whole time.
Here Herbs - lovely title.
Slept really badly and first day back with the result that I led the whole class along the corridor and down the stairs instead of the other way round so they couldn't drop their bags off. Chaos ensued!
My lovely fairy godmother used to sing me that poem all the time....
MI I think the DNR has to be recorded on her notes. That's what was done for Dmum and AFAIK we didn't sign anything......
Can't remember who was asking about dehumidifiers recently, but there are some good recommendations on this enlightening thread:
Apols for length of link - it came via the daily MN email, hence all that guff.
Lovely GP responded to my text about it. In the meantime my MUM phoned the GP – presumably because my dad cannot be asked to take on such an upsetting task? Everyone is pussyfooting around the fact he is so hopeless. The latest is “oh, but you can’t expect him to change at this stage” when I point out he can’t even make a damn sandwich. So if you are absolute self-centred @rse for decades you get it excused at the end? Why can’t I try that number, then?
I should probably point out that neither of my parents, for different reasons, have done any sort of long-term support of this kind. Including not for a very dear, much older family friend who died about 22 years ago, in the city where they live. My dad wasn’t even going to go to her funeral “because he had to teach”. At the wake it was clear that they had done NOTHING to support her family, including the relatives who live quite near them. This is the woman who did more for my father, in terms of helping him sort his life out, than either of his parents ever did, and was far more welcoming to my mother than they were either. Needless to say my dad did NOTHING when either of his parents died, bar burst into tears at the funeral. He was there when his sister died, but collapsed all over his 22 year old niece (who was the one actually close to our aunt) and she had to cope with him.
Sorry I don't buy the can't be expected to change at this stage excuse. My dad is proof that you can. He is/was no way as self-centred as your dad MI, but my mum pretty much ran the house and did everything. Well now he cooks (and I mean cooks - I don't mean 'heats up a ready meal') and he wrote all the Christmas cards, and he cleans, and he deals with the house and with my mum. Including when, like this weekend, the dementia is really bad and she's kicking him and generally not being very nice.
But BD, some people just rise up to meet life's challenges; it's part of their make-up. It's lovely to hear that your DDad is doing what he can - my GF was the same when GM died. However, some people, like MI's DDad, can only make it about themselves. That rarely changes, in my experience.
Herbs - is it your alternator? <digs deep into somewhat limited knowledge of the internal combustion engine> Oh, and before your lesson maybe consult with BTM so you can equip yourself with the latest teen lingo. She's down wiv da kids.
Meanwhile, I'm back at my desk having finally escaped the fracture clinic - I swear A&E was quicker. DD1 has, as expected, been signed off, and can go back to careful PE.
Most people can change; a minority absolutely can't.
I get what you are saying CV, but it also sounds like people around him have allowed it.
CV - what happened re the job interview? (think I must have missed that update!)
On my way there now CV
In the words of White Knuckles by the fabulous OK GO! (their vids are STUPENDOUS - watch some) 'Nothing every doesn't change, but nothing changes much.'
Thank you for the new thread, Herbs. And well done to DS on his fine performance at school. He sounds smashing. Alas my DS is still struggling with his horrible handwriting but the Stropps recommended books are helping.
Sympathies, MI. He does sound like a difficult bugger. I hope you will find a brief nap restorative, at least in the short term.
I have weighed myself and am officially enormous, so time to get the Trousers of Truth out of the cupboard and keep trying them on. I have many lovely summer clothes but am too lardy to get into them, so I need to do something. 5.2 wouldn't work as I would find myself stuffing on the 5 days, so low carb it is. If you see me with a cake, wrest it from me.
Right, I must work - I have an hour before school run. Back later.
I agree with BD. Or rather whether or not he can change, he is refusing to and everyone is colluding in this.
Hello, wonderful thread title, thank you.
MI, you are put in an impossible situation. If you act as travel agent and middle woman between all these relatives, your health, family and job could all suffer, it is too much. I think the proforma response is a top idea - could you tell them to contact your dps over visit details and that your work and family commitments over the next couple of months mean you will not have the chance to look at other emails more than once a week
and will then delete them. It sounds like they all think you are sitting in your dps' house twiddling your thumbs till the next question that they could easily resolve crops up. I hope you can get some better sleep soon.
And yes about collusion. Either way, compensating for him is beyond what you or anyone can manage.
Sorry, MI, if I sound a bit ranty - my df had lovely friends who managed to make his illness about them, and maybe I am still not quite over it......
Of course people can change, but only if they want to, and if there aren't situations or people around them who are colluding to maintain the status quo. MI even my DM who was utterly capable as DDads carer couldn't do the DNR form. I had to and I harbour resentment that it had to be my signature first on the form. And in the end DM did a U turn and had Ddad hospitalised a few weeks before he died to " give him a chance". It's very very tough
What a lovely new thread...thanks you herbs and sorry about the car trouble. No advice from this end. I'm useless
but not as useless as DH about cars.
Liverish...I love that word BD! And cremo wish you better. monty I am happy to pass on the handwriting stuff with "magic C" that the OT taught DD. It made a hell of a difference.
Cv I would love someone forever if they put a meal in front of me even if it was from waitrose packets. It never happens though. tilly that apple pie looked the business! Grandmothers have been well and truly loved and indulged this Mother's Day chez nous. MIL is highly entitled so DH always runs to do her bidding. Flowers, cards chocolates and tea out with the DGC. I don't encourage my lot to bother about me but I am utterly wrecked from a weekend of undiluted DM and being so under scrutiny with no one else around. One forgets what it's like. I think she had a lovely time, but I am on the verge of tears today despite having a lovely morning teaching excellent women. Wonder what that's all about?
Flips sake, 22 posts already?
MI, MM's advice is spot-on - do it!
Rose, being with ones DM is, IMHO, exhausting. I was actually glad to get back to work today
but changed my mind once the little darlings appeared
Monty, if you find a magical way to get into the ToT, please let me know - I need it too!
Right. I have drafted a brief out-of-office style response:
Thank you for your email. I will reply when I can, if necessary; but at the moment I am only responding to essential correspondence.
And then it has my name and also my website details, as subtle point that I do actually have a life beyond answering bonkers queries.
I am ignoring any stern-looking trousers. Where are we meeting on Sat and when?
DM deteriorating quickly. Sadly had to miss DD's concert yesterday on her account. Was there this morning, though, to hear DD & her quartet win ensemble class in music festival
Happy to be home after intense four-day conference but was whacked all weekend. Made a start on House of Cards in front of a roaring fire on Sat.
Palliative care nurse filled in DM's DNR form a couple of weeks ago, after consulting me. I signed to confirm & sent it off to GP for counter-signature. Not that it makes a difference - there's no chance that CPR could succeed.
Don't think my sibs have taken in how serious things are with DM but we're all a bit preoccupied with DSis2, who starts aggressive chemo tomorrow.
Excuse my dipping in & out, little chance to post atm.
<waves to all>
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