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Help me dress my super fussy 4 year old DD please!!

(27 Posts)
BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 14:32:22

DD is 4.4, but in 5-6 clothes, she's very tall. I'm having trouble getting her clothes as she is massively fussy and I'm fed up of buying stuff she won't wear. Once she's made up her mind, that's it for that garment.

She won't wear

Frills, ruffles
Very skinny trousers
Flappy trousers

She will wear her brother's hand me down jeans (but not new ones, too stiff), jogging bottoms and sometimes shorts with tights, but not often. I'll usually manage to persuade her into shorts and tights if she needs to look a bit tidy (birthday parties). The rest of the time she looks like s complete scruffian! (And I'm really not precious about these things). This week she's managed to rip a pair of acceptable jeans, and has grown out of her last pair of jogging bottoms. We're left with 1 pair of acceptable turquoise straight leg cords and one pair of embellished jeans, which she goes hot and cold about.

She needs clothes!! Can any other sugguest any bottoms that are not close fitting, not too flappy, not excessively embellished and not pink!! I'd prefer get not to live in jogging bottoms.

DS was never like this. Bring on school uniform...

BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 14:35:26

Meant to say, I'm not sure if her fussiness is down to sensory issues (not a problem in any other areas) or bloody mindedness, but either way it's really impractical, if it's bloody mindedness, then I've let her go to nursery in pyjamas in the past due to her refusal to wear any of her clothes.

originalmavis Fri 12-Feb-16 14:43:31

Sounds exhausting! Can you ask her to show you any pics in magazines of things /styles that she likes? Or let her lose in mothercare?

hairylittlegoblin Fri 12-Feb-16 14:45:42

DD was like this. For her it was a sensory issue but nearly drove me mad. There are still certain things she can't wear (she won't have jeans anywhere near her) but with most other things we can find a compromise.

For over a year she lived in a couple of pairs of joggers and that was it.

Things that she finds comfortable include skirts with adjustable waistbands so they weren't too loose or too tight, joggers or trousers made of Jersey material (Tesco often have a good range of these) and occasionally leggings. Seams were a huge problem and anything 'structured' like collars were out.

I would accept that she will look scruffy for a while and just ride with it. But also see if she's worried about anything. DDs clothing issues tend to escalate when she's stressed so we now recognise this and talk to her yonsee if anything is bothering her.

You have my sympathies. Before I had kids I would have thought, "Just get them dressed! How hard can it be?" grin

MyFriendsCallMeOh Fri 12-Feb-16 14:45:51

I have a fussy one too, although she is getting better now she's 7. She lives in GAP skinny jogging bottoms, they come in loads of designs and patterns and have cuffed ankles. Very soft but not flappy or clingy.

BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 14:48:27

I think letting her lose in MC may be the way to go. When we've done this in the past, she's fallen in love with stuff that doesn't come in her size. What a 4 year old mind likes and what the shops make for a 6 year old size body are quite different.

She is currently wearing too small jeans, a tankini top and a dressing gown...

originalmavis Fri 12-Feb-16 14:51:09

I'm wearing similar myself!

BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 14:54:37

Those Gap jogging bottoms sound ideal MyFriends, the ones she's just grown out of (DS's hand me downs) were Gap. Nice, plain coloured and slim fitting. Thank you.

Believeitornot Fri 12-Feb-16 15:01:25

Honestly does it matter?

My dd (4.3) is fussy with clothes because I think she's been given too much choice. Plus her nanny and others have gone on about how she looks. My ds is not because I've never, not once asked him what he wants to wear, what he likes. I've just bought sensible stuff and replaced it quietly.

I've backed off on dd and just let her wear whatever. She is getting better now - so I buy what I know she will tolerate (eg stuff from hennes or vertbaudet) and just present it to her.

If pink is the only colour she won't wear that's great! Just get plain tops from next/hennes and boys jeans (hennes do nice smart trousers in differing colours)

hennes trousers

hennes tops

Believeitornot Fri 12-Feb-16 15:05:33

next tops


misspym Fri 12-Feb-16 15:07:48

H&M sometimes have the skinny joggers too.

I have a dd with sensory processing disorder so I know how tricky it can be to find acceptable things.

The arrival of harem pants into fashion was the best thing for dd. She never would tolerate jeans or leggings and the harems gave a more dressed up option when joggers where a bit casual.

misspym Fri 12-Feb-16 15:09:58

Also, I agree with hairy about stress. It made dd's issues a lot worse so for example the pressure to dress up in a new outfit for a special occasion was too much for her and would cause major meltdowns.

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 12-Feb-16 15:14:09

Loads of nice girl type joggers which are non pink smile

These are nice and would go with the next tops linked above I think:

OneMagnumisneverenough Fri 12-Feb-16 15:21:36

Would dungarees be an option?

BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 16:06:22

Ohh lots of replied during school pick up!

BeliveItorNit it matters because she has about 2 bottoms that she'll wear which is pretty impractical !

DS (7) pretty much lives in the H&M trousers and tops you linked when he's not a school. DD has 2 pairs of the trousers but the waist/leg ratios don't work very well on her and they are too close fitting on her in general. I hadn't thought of Verbaudet as I had some really bad customer service issues with them years ago and have dismissed them ever since.

One I'll have a look through those, but last time I looked there was v little left in 5-6. I may have to go to an actual shop! I do like the idea of "dressy" joggers in principle though.

I imagine that dungarees would just bring a whole host of other problems. She's a very independent dresser/toilet user and I can see lots of buckle related frustration, but thank you.

Believeitornot Fri 12-Feb-16 16:33:42

Sorry what I meant was just get her what she likes.

I've never had a problem with vertbaudet and they do different fits for slimmer kids.

I had some success getting dd to wear other stuff just by leaving it around in her drawers and letting her choose her outfits. Now she lets me choose more often

Luckygirlcharlie Fri 12-Feb-16 17:45:33

She sounds super cool to me! And thank God you're not trying to turn this into another bloody 'trans gender' thread! Nothing helpful to add as have boys! Good luck smile

building2016 Fri 12-Feb-16 17:58:44

My son pretty much only wears joggers. Probably sensory. Shirts are completely out of the question. Only tshirt material.

I find open cuff joggers don't look as scruffy.

I no longer try to get him to dress smartly, ever, really. Too awful for him and who cares really.

PollyPerky Fri 12-Feb-16 18:02:26

TBH OP I had to read this twice to make sure you said she was four.

When my DD was 4 she wore what I put out for her. She might have had the choice between top A and top B now and then, but she didn't dictate her wardrobe preferences.

You are making a very big rod for your own back by allowing your child of 4 to control you like this!

Buy what you want her to wear and stop having a 4 year old call all the shots.


Footofthestairs Fri 12-Feb-16 18:32:42

My DD (7) is currently wearing boys stonewash straight leg jeans and a grey long sleeve t-shirt with multi-coloured cassette tape image on it. She hates pink, frills, princesses, skirts, dresses etc. She wears jeans and checked/smart shirts to parties. Wears trousers to school. Has chosen her style over the last couple of years. No bother at all to buy neutral colours or boys stuff. Mini boden t-shirts are great, definitely Gap joggers, outdoor wear stuff like fleeces/combats work well too. DD has long blonde hair so always looks girly no matter what clothes she wears!!

InQuiteAPickle Fri 12-Feb-16 22:21:35

When my DD was 4 she wore what I put out for her. She might have had the choice between top A and top B now and then, but she didn't dictate her wardrobe preferences.

Good for you, that's fabulous that you didn't let your 4 year old rule you. If I hadn't let my 4 year old choose her clothes then we wouldn't have been able to leave the house without a major tantrum every morning. We would have been consistently late for nursery and I would have been very late for work. DD2 was fussy with clothes and as I'm a big believer in picking your battles I let her pick what she wore.

I actually think it's good to give them a bit of choice, gives them confidence.

I have nothing useful to add, Op but I sympathise. As it happens DD2, isn't as fussy anymore - she's nearly 5 and since she started school she's not as bothered. We used to have an issue with sleeves but she seems to have grown out of it. smile

BikeRunSki Fri 12-Feb-16 22:46:03

Thank you for all your input folks.

If I let DD wear what she wanted, she'd live in her brother's old jeans (none available that fit any more) or shorts and crocs, which are not a great choice in Yorkshire most of the year.

She needs new/more clothes, and I started this thread for inspiration for clothes that are practical and she might want to wear. I think the slimline joggers from Gap and H&M may be the way forward.

I'm beginning to think it might be a sensory thing, because she's not bothered about tops, really loves wearing shorts, and does complain about "hot legs" and it's not a phase, been a good year her clothing pickiness.

And thank you InQuiteAPickle, in your last post, you've said what I would have done, rather well.

DD is like this, I sympathise OP. She does wear dresses, but that's about it. No tights/leggings/trousers.

I know you didn't ask about socks but these are brilliant - the only ones DD will wear (for months she went sock less)

Good luck!

herecomesthsun Sat 13-Feb-16 08:42:12

I have a similar DD just turning 4. She has been living in dungarees for most of the winter.

herecomesthsun Sat 13-Feb-16 08:48:26

oh, and our dungies don't have buckles, but either poppers on the straps (Gap) or metal clips like this and said preschooler can mabage to go to the toilet fine by herself

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