Follow on from how to look expensive, wizened, busy, skint and over 50

[Monty27]

I have always been admired for my clothes, but the wardrobe has diminished and I'm tiny, 8st 5' 2", work full time, always shattered at weekends and I'm skint.

I've lost that loving feeling with myself

[Monty27]

Anybody?

[grannycake]

I'm the same size as you and definitely over 50. Ebay is my friend as I can buy the higher end clothes at my budget. I did spend a day going round shops and trying on as sizes vary so much between makes but only purchase on Ebay. I also try to stick to grey, navy of black and add colour with scarves, bags and the odd red top. In order to keep looking smart I find I need to wear more quality, fitted clothing. I also use my local FE college for regular haircuts and brow tint/shape as their prices are very reasonable. Shoes I buy (usually from Clarks) in Sales only

[Monty27]

Thanks Granny. Yes, I think I need to raise my game ie no more primark, for example, although I do have some high end stuff from charity shops and donated by friends. I've booked a haircut for Saturday, it really needs doing, perhaps that's why I'm feeling so dowdy right now, I just didn't get time around Christmas. I absolutely agree with you that trying on is essential these days.

My thighs have disappeared and I can't seem to wear any of my trousers or jeans any more.

[Floisme]

I'm 59 so I feel your pain.

I assume you're going through the menopause and the best advice I can give you is to keep reviewing what suits you because there's every chance you'll come out of it with a different body shape. I went from being a pear to almost hourglass but didn't cotton on for ages and during that time I felt really frumpy - no wonder as I was wearing completely the wrong clothes.

Unless you have a big budget, I also counsel against investment buys if you're menopausal. I can hear them throwing up their hands in horror on the expsnsive thread but honestly what's the point of shelling out on a few quality pieces when they may no longer fit or suit you in a couple of years? Right now, I would have some fun experimenting with cheap, cheerful and disposable. If you're small and slim you may well find stuff in the likes of New Look and H&M so make the most of it. There will be plenty of time for investment buys when the dust settles.

I also think colour is important and again I disagree with a lot of advice on the expnsive thread about navy and grey and muted colours. Well fine if they suit you but let's face it, our hair and skin tone are probably fading and we may well look like death warmed up in that colour scheme. I still stick to a fairly limited palette but it's mainly plum, dark green and charcoal grey. These still go with each other but more importantly, they suit me.

[absolutelynotfabulous]

I'm 56 and feel your pain. Yes to constantly reviewing what suits. I'm reduced to comfort-dressing. Yesterday I bought my first pair of boots without a heel. I love them (even if I know I look dumpier than normal in them. So what?

I tend to stick to a limited colour palette too. I love bright splashes and tasteless bling. I hate navy and think it's harsh on pretty much everyone.

My pet peeve is not fi ding tailored clothes that fit right.

This may be more to do with hankering after my pre-kid size ten, though,...I'm a menopausal 12 now, and counting. Boo.

[Floisme]

I hate navy too, along with black, white, cream, beige and pale grey (dark grey is ok). If that means I look cheap then so be it - better than looking ill!

[herecomesthsun]

God I wish my thighs would magically diminish

[Monty27]

Lol Herecomes, that made me smile, i just wish I had something to fill clothes, I don't know which is the worst really. And thanks Flo and Absolutely (love that name, I have taken to calling my 22 yo dd Saffie I am a huge fan).

So, I have an important meeting tomorrow, it's a grey Gap dress (fitted), a black and white checked jacket (really classy that I bought as part of a suit about 30 years ago, Saffie has been wearing it so it must be ok) and a black Hobbs largish scarf with grey, coral and black pattern. Saffie approved :)

Saffie is 5' 8" size 8 with long flowing brunette hair, and tanned, no wonder I feel dowdy

I'll be wearing a Coast woolen overcoat, with large dogtooth pattern that I got in their sale about 5 years ago, some black patents Hobbs brogues that I got in a charity shop, they were brand new, they aren't very comfortable, no wonder they were charity shopped, and black woolly tights.

That is me raising my game. The trouble with wear I work is that on ordinary days you can wear what you like and I only make an effort when I have meetings. But I need, and used to, make the effort every day.

Gosh that was long. Thanks for the support, maybe it was this thread that got me up to the wardrobe :)

[absolutelynotfabulous]

Well, you're still petite enough to carry off clothes, so why do you think you're not making the effort any more? Is it tiredness/cba/shape change/lack of confidence/ feeling hot (and not in a good way)?

With me, I know it's because I've put on weight around the middle and clothes don't hang right, compounded by the fact that I can no longer be arsed with losing/maintaining weight loss. It's s struggle I'm losing. I'm lucky in that I don't do office work now. I've also been known for snappy dressing in the past.

I also find that nice, non-fugly clothes are harder to find now. I don't mind paying, but I don't want to pay for fugliness.

[Floisme]

Even if you're petite and slim your body shape can still change. It's very disconcerting when your favourite clothes don't look right any more but you can't work out why. I think I look better (clothed) at nearly 60 than I did at 50 but I had to go back and learn what suited me all over again.

[Monty27]

Yes, I've shrunk and clothes just don't fit me. Can't wait to get my hair cut tomorrow.

I've had a couple of drinks now so I'll fess up to another disaster, I had to get a couple of front bottom teeth out in November (they were about to fall out so I took the bull by the horns) and I have a small bottom denture. :(

The gp has just taken me off hrt as I seem to have passed the menopause and I look and feel worse than ever ever ever.

Oh and I now need to wear glasses all them time........ blimey WOW is me lol. I really feel like crap.

[Floisme]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time and especially about your teeth. Is there any chance of dental implants? I guess they cost a fortune.

But glasses.... I'm a big fan of glasses in your fifties as they distract from wrinkles and jowls. And if your frames are modern they can really help you look up to date. Trust me!

[absolutelynotfabulous]

Aw monty that sucks.

Can you go back on the hrt?

[Floisme]

Sorry I completely missed the bit about having to come off hrt as well. No wonder you're feeling crap.

[Monty27]

Oh god this thread isn't all about me. How are you lot doing? I know that what I'm going through is what many have done before me.

Went to the hairdressers yesterday, she always sings and dances about my look . Oh you know how to work it girl she said. Humble dot com. I feel better about my hair now.

Maybe I need a new mirror. Sigh.

[absolutelynotfabulous]

I hope your hairdo has given you a lift, op.

I've been watching the "expensive" thread on S and B with interest. Anyone else?

[Monty27]

Abs, it has thanks, and I'm beginning to make more of an effort, thank you.

[absolutelynotfabulous]

The thing I hate most about these dark morning is getting up and having to do makeup with light on. It's horrible...all jowls and wrinkles everywhere..yikes

[Monty27]

Oh Abs, that doesn't help. And trying to get inspired with your wardrobe. I often plan what I'm wearing the next day and when I'm getting dressed I will be in a completely different frame of mind and won't want to wear it.

[Monty27]

Think I'll have another look at the expensive thread again, it's what inspired me to start this one. Blimey I used to have it nailed.

[absolutelynotfabulous]

To be fair, I think it's quite difficult to be comfortable, stylish and appropriate with what's in the shops. I don't know if this is just me, but I'm finding clothes at the moment really fugly. I'm not sure if it's the explosion in cheap clothing shops or what.

Back in the day, I used to exist in unstructured trouser suits and brogues (for work). I was thinner then, granted, but it was an easy look for work. I even used to be able to get Armani second hand. But now I can't get a jacket I'm comfy in. I have to size up for norkage, and then it's too big elsewhere. The arms are always too tight too. Grr..

I have one short jacket from Next and I practically live in that.

Another gripe I have is with shoes. Or heeled shoes, To be precise. They are all so low-cut. I have small feet and they cripple me. So I exist in boots.

I know I'm not massive, but find it really difficult to find clothes that are stylish, confortable and forgiving to the less-than-youthful figure. Particularly work clothes. We don't all want Phase 8 dresses ffs!;

[Floisme]

Buying better underwear has made a massive difference for me. It makes all my clothes - especially the cheaper stuff - hang much better.

[perpetuallybewildered]

May I join you? I'm 63 and still haven't got it sussed. I'm 5'6 & 10st 5 (pear) so could do with losing a few pounds.

When I was young I loved what's probably called the boho look now but I know I look better in simpler styles. The thing about the 'expensive' thread is it seems to me to be quite uniform - skinny jeans/top/jacket/heels. I seldom wear heels as I like to be comfortable, I've been wearing skinny jeans & long tops/tunics for ages but just feel a bit blah!
I've recently retired so don't need work wear, I'm lost tbh.

[Orangeanddemons]

I'm 52. I find Cos and Uniqlo meet most of my fashion requirements! I find Hobbs, Coast, phase 8 all make me look older. And Cos and Uniqlo are cheaper too!

[Floisme]

I'm quite fickle about where I shop, I think it's best to keep moving. At the moment I really like H&M.

It's funny you mention Cos - I always thought it looked a bit grim but I had another look the other day (a different thread) and it was like a light going on - suddenly it looked really good! I don't know if they've changed or if I have!